


A New Happy Ending

by SirMichelle



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Drama & Romance, F/F, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2018-12-17 15:55:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 19
Words: 49,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11854866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SirMichelle/pseuds/SirMichelle
Summary: The Dark Curse had been cast, Regina had won. It's been a year since the Charming's defeat, and although she could think of nothing that would bring her more pleasure, she begins to feel the emptiness inside her, a void. She adopts a child, Emma Swan. Could this be her happy ending?





	1. Prologue

**The Dark Curse had been cast, Regina had won…**

It'd been a year, a year since she had won, and a year since anyone had tried to tarnish or taint her happy ending.

Her happy ending…

She blinks into her feelings of void. Why did she feel so empty? Everyone was at her command, she was Mayor. The wolf girl was nothing but a harlot, her Grandmother a nobody, Gold? Out of her hair; and Snow, Snow was a simple little teacher, and had no clue of whom or where her dear prince charming was. She should feel nothing but bliss. This is was suppose to be her happy ending.

But then why… why did she feel so empty?

Revenge was supposed to be sweet and fulfill her, but all she felt was repetition and void.

Loneliness…

Everyone worshiped her, or feared her.

There was no in between. She had no… She had no Daniel, no Mother, and no Father… just loneliness. All she had was her revenge, but revenge was nothing if she had nothing. She swayed her hips past the townspeople and away from their possible pity towards her current state, till she finally found an isolated bench near the town's park. She angrily sat and crossed her legs, letting her mind become her company.

As she sat in her thoughts of loss and loneliness, her memories storm up a thought.

A child…

A memory of a faceless child…

Her nemesis's child…

She took that from Snow, Snow took everything. She took Daniel. She took all the possibility she could ever have of conceiving her own. After Daniel's death and her imprisonment of a marriage to the king, she instantly threw away any thoughts of a child. She could barely stand his hand on hers, let alone the nights they shared in his chambers. And after the night he took away the only thing she had left that was hers… she knew she could never carry Leopold's child. She would only see the king… the pig that stole her virginity and begged for more every night. The Pig that she was never meant to be with… the pig she was forced to be with.

But now, now that she is alone, alone and away from her mother, and those "heroes", all she could think of now was a child. A child she could call her own, and not let anyone take what was hers. A child who would listen to her speak, someone who could see the real her, see her as anything but an Evil Queen or Mayor… see her as just a human being, a human being in need of love, a love that she would never deny back.

Rumple! He would know how… How to get her new happy ending…

**(Gold's Shop)**

"New York, Dearie." He replies with impatience.

"You need to go to New York and find your new happy ending." He states, staff in hand.

"To get a child, my child?" She asks with caution and hope all in one. He sternly walks to her and hands her a piece of paper, information and hope in his hands.

"It's a location, the location to your happy ending… an Orphanage where you will surely find it." But before she can take it he takes it away and whispers in her ear.

"This one is on me." She glares at him suspiciously.

"Why?" she glares harder. "Let's just say I've put you through enough and that I know what it is like to have a child… No one should be denied that."

He almost gently grabs her hand and places the paper in her grasps, his head facing down. She doesn't say thank you, not a word. How could she? After everything he made her do. No, she'd helped him long enough making him forget what horrible things he did in his past. Besides, whatever memory's he thinks he has, will soon be gone. No one remembered their past, and that was torture enough for her so called teacher. He'd soon feel lost and be Mr. Gold… the town's pawnshop owner.

She turns around sharply and walks away, her heels echoing in Gold's shop, not seeing his face turn up with a grin.

"Good luck Dearie."

**(New York, two weeks later.)**

"Regina Mills, Mayor of Storybrooke." The man in a suited tie smiles contently.

"So is this the child for you?" He says, placing the papers in front of her gently. The baby stretches her soft gentle hand, reaching for Regina.

"Yes, I believe she is…" She whispers, grabbing the outstretched little hand into hers. She feels a familiar warmth reach her chest... her darkened chest.

"Emma." She whispers.

"Yes, Mayor Mills… Emma Swan." He nods admiring the connection he sees.

"My happy ending…" she turns and smiles at him, reaching for the nearest pen.


	2. Chapter 2

**Storybrooke, their new home…**

Emma Swan, 1 year of age, blonde hair, fair skin, blush red chubby cheeks, and blue eyes that steal your breath away.

Regina inhales gently, blinking her eyes in disbelief.

"Emma Mills." She whispers to the baby in her arms.

"Will you be mine?" She asks sweetly, not expecting an answer from the barely year old child.

"Gahhhh," Emma lets out a loud gurgling sound, almost as if she was responding.

Regina's eyes instantly go wide, her eyes slightly getting watery in the process. She lets out an audible giggle, something she hadn't done in a very long time. Her ears ring with the sound of her own laughter, as she slowly leans closer to her beautiful rosy cheeked child.

"I'm Regina, I'm your momma."

She presses a gentle finger on Emma's soft chubby cheeks. The baby then does what she did so naturally when Regina had first held her in her arms. She reaches outward towards her, asking to be held, accepting her for who she was… her new mother.

"Oh Emma... my sweet Emma, Momma is here." She quickly lifts her up kissing her cheeks gently and placing her on her hollow chest, a hollow chest that no longer felt quite as empty.

**(A few weeks later)**

She was ready to show baby Emma her new town. She'd been slightly dreading this… having to introduce her child to those annoying townspeople, having to explain that the Mayor was now a mother too. On the other hand, she was ecstatic… getting to experience going out with her child, having breakfast at Granny's, just the two of them, and even taking Emma to her most private and pivotal places… like her vault.

No more loneliness, it was her and Emma now.

Granny's Diner, they were here. She unbuckles her daughter from the car seat, and gently lifts her to her arms, kissing her cheek lovingly.

"Mayor Mills?'' Ugh, it was her.

"Ms. Blanchard." Regina nods her head her way, holding her daughter a slight bit tighter, like it was her new secret to be kept.

"Who is this beautiful baby girl?" She smiles as big as when she was in the enchanted forest, as if she were Snow yet again, with her memories intact. She hated that grin… but at least it was a grin for her daughter. Emma deserved that. Whoever her parents were, she could kill them now… leaving the poor baby, abandoning her. Emma deserved all the love this town had to offer. Although... she selfishly wished it was from her alone.

But she could not do such a thing. That is what Corra did… locked her up, controlled her, never letting her live her life, never letting anyone love her back.

"This is Emma… my baby." Snows eyes instantly shoot out of her face.

"Mayor Mills… you're a mother?! When, how?" She sounded like a flapping pigeon.

Regina visibly rolls her eyes.

"If you must know, I adopted her a few weeks back… but I would appreciate it if we all call her my own. I don't want her ever knowing she isn't mine." Regina states almost demanding.

"Off course Regina, I would never!" Mary Margaret states loudly.

"Well, she is beautiful…" She reaches a hand out longingly towards Emma.

"Yes Ms, Blanchard, indeed she is." Regina swiftly moves past her.

"Good day Ms. Blanchard." Mary Margaret shakes her head… dispelling her momentary trance towards the child.

"How strange." Mary Margaret states quietly. She almost felt as if it were all a dream… like a long lost memory.

**(Inside of Granny's Diner)**

As soon as Regina entered the diner silence surrounded her. All eyes were on her and her teeny tiny in her arms. She hated this part, the nosy stares from everyone who treated her like a damn monster, having to explain and... 

Emma chose the perfect time to cry… oh that cry. It made her chest ache and anticipate the moment when she would be the one to comfort her. She quickly made her way to her favorite table, it was always unoccupied, thanks to the people who feared her… some of the perks. She immediately pulled a warm bottle out of her purse, breastfeeding was not an option. She gently pressed the bottle into Emma's wailing little mouth… instantly silencing her and receiving a helping little hand grasping the bottle as well.

This was their first breakfast at Granny's.

Breastfeeding… She lets her mouth form a wide smile, and if she paid any attention to her surroundings; she'd see a couple of people surprised at her careless and loving expression.

Breastfeeding was no option, she obviously never conceived a child… there was nothing there for her to give Emma. But that hadn't stopped Emma last night from nibbling on Regina's left nipple, right through her blouse. It was a pleasant surprise and very endearing. Her child wanted milk, and as she held her for sleep, Emma decided she was hungry instead.

This time Regina let out an audible giggle at the memory.

"Mayor Mills, how nice to see you smiling." It was the wolf girl, always trying to but in.

"Yes, dear… well I have a child now and there is no sense in frowning all day now is there?" Regina replies frowning in the process.

"Haha, ok Mayor Mills, gotcha! But either way, congrats… you look happy." Ruby grabs her pen and nods pridefully.

"Now what would you like for today?" She asks sweetly.

"The usual dear." Regina nods, taking in the wolf girls words. The change was already happening, even they could see it. She looks down at Emma in her arms and instantly smiles once again. You really are my happy ending she thinks.

**(A Few Nights Later.)**

"Sydney!" Regina yells through her phone, her voice full of anticipation. She holds a crying Emma in one hand, the phone in other.

"My Queen." Sydney's speaks, his voice ready for his demand.

"Where are those papers I've asked for? I need to know why my child has been crying for two nights straight! I need to know who her birth parents were, and find what could possibly be wrong with her." She speaks through anger and tears.

"My Queen I have them in hand now." Regina closes her eyes, ready for the information.

"Tell me is there any health issues I should be worried about?" she breathes in worriedly.

"No… In fact there is nothing on the child."

"What?!" Regina screams as hard as possible, not to disturb her child furthermore.

"The child…" he says, almost with a hint of disgust and bitterness in his voice, a hint Regina was to unfocused to catch, or else he would surely be punished.

"The child was abandoned most likely at birth, on the side of the road."

"My baby was what?!" Regina's eyes instantly open in shock, slightly red from the anger that was already rising.

"Here is the interesting part my Queen, you might want to sit down for this." She could sense a smile forming in his voice, and this time she catches it.

"She was left on the side of the road in Main… right outside of Storybrooke."

That's when it hits her. It hits her hard.

Gold… that evil little Imp.

The reason he was so eager to help her cast this curse, him being giving and kind that day… he knew.

This child… this person… was _SNOW WHITE'S CHILD!_

She was... she is the Savior.

"My Queen?" Sydney asks through the silent line. Nothing. He suddenly realizes it was pointless to ask, as soon as he hears the dead dial tone.

He smirks in delight… maybe now his Queen would go back to paying attention to him. That baby… that child was just a pointless distraction, and she was in the way of his price.

**(Gold's Shop)**

"You Imp! You knew!" She screams in his face, Emma stirring in the process… her face full of dry tears.

"To what do I owe the pleasure Mayor Mills at such late hours of the night?" He smiles wickedly.

"This baby, this child… she was found outside of Storybook one year ago!" She looks at him accusingly.

"Annd?" He blinks in bewilderment and impatience.

"Emma Swan…" She whispers closer to him.

"Is… she belongs to Snow." she whispers frustrated, tears sliding down her face.

That does it… that triggers a memory, a lost memory long forgotten in Gold's mind. Unbeknownst to Regina, Gold had no recollection of their deal or previous life. He just had the perks and the knowledge of many things. Now he understood, he understood why he felt sudden joy when he found this child's name at the adoption agency… She was the savior.

She would break this curse and that was his chance at finding Baelfire. That's when he snaps out of his new regained thoughts and decides to play along.

"Dearie, I can tell you this… I do not know what you are speaking of! But… I have a solution to the problem in hand." He knew she wouldn't give up this child now. She was obviously entranced by the child. She wasn't going to get rid of her now.

"What are you talking about? What am I suppose to do?! This, this is a potential problem for me you idiot!" Emma instantly begins to cry on cue.

"Oh no, no… honey…shh it's okay." She cradles her closer.

"Mama is here, we'll figure out what is wrong my love." She shoots Rumple a hateful glare.

"You obviously aren't getting rid of the child, so why complain? She isn't anybody's but yours now… you can shape her up to your liking Mayor Mills. So, I see no problems here." Regina looks down almost shamefully; she bites her lip in her obvious loss against the dark one.

"The least you can do is help me figure out what is wrong with her? She's been crying for two days nonstop! She could be sick, Snow and Charming could have had some disgusting disease!" She adds frantically.

"Have you ever wished to speak to the baby? To read her thoughts?" he asks almost playfully. He feels a familiar giggle rise in his chest. And oh how he'd missed the thought of making potions and deals.

"What are you saying?" She squints her eye holding a crying Emma in her protective arms.

"We will see what Emma is thinking, what is bothering her exactly." He turns around behind his display case and checks inside a box.

"Ah, here it is…" He hums contently.

"How can I trust what you are saying? You lied to me about.. about." She couldn't even say it.

"Well she is mine now, so it doesn't matter!" she closes her eyes rubbing Emma's little back.

"This one dearie is truly on the house… I can put it on Baelfire." Regina lets out an audible gasp. She hadn't heard that name escape his lips in a very long time.

"Do it." she says…turning Emma around gently.

"Just put your finger inside the potion dear and place it on your lips… kiss her head and you will hear and feel what she is feeling." He holds the potion out for her.

She gently caresses the pink warm liquid on her lips and quickly turns to Emma's blonde locked gentle head, she lets her lips linger on her baby… and as soon as they parts she feels it, she knows.

"Oh my..." She almost giggles.

"All she wanted… how could I not know?" She turns Emma around, her eyes connected directly with Emma's sparkling ones.

"Oh Emma…" She kisses her once more, suddenly soothing her child. She turns to Rumple and nods approvingly with one last remark.

"Do not tell anyone who she is! Or so help me… I will find a way to destroy you." She turns and leaves in a hurry.

"Oh trust me dearie, I won't… it will all unfold on its very own."

**(Back at the mansion)**

After feeding Emma a warm bottle and several warm kisses to her cheeks, she makes her way to her queen sized bed and gently lays Emma down. She positions her soft feather pillows around her for protection and quickly positions herself next to her, holding Emma's delicate little fingers in her hand. She pulls her sheets on top of them both, ready for bed.

They lay their peacefully next to one another, the queen and her little princess.

"All you wanted… all you wanted was to sleep by my side." She whispers to a now peaceful sleeping Emma. Regina lays her head on the soft pillow and smiles contently. "I promise, no more crib for you my love. It's just you and me." She whispers drifting off into the warmest of dreams.


	3. Chapter 3

**6 years had gone by…**

Baby Emma was no longer a baby; she was a 7 year old child. She was beautiful, kind hearted, giving, and brave. She was Regina's little knight, and that may have been the Mayor's favorite thought.

She could remember a time where she may have expressed her frustration over Ms. Blanchard and having to enroll her child in school; Ms. Blanchard would be Emma's teacher, and she was not having it… She hit the steering wheel in her car, receiving a loud squeal from the back seat.

"What's wrong Momma?" Emma asked, not scared but worried.

Regina sighed deeply and turned to her child. "Nothing baby, I'm really sorry."

"Did someone do something bad to you Momma? Because last time you got this mad it was because Mr. Gold hurt you, and you hit the car too."

Emma spoke about a couple of months ago, when Gold refused to help Regina with a possible spell to help the curse stop itself from breaking. He had acted as if he'd forgotten everything anew.

"Oh no baby, I just… I just don't want you to have Ms. Blanchard when you start school. She and Mommy don't really get along." Regina tried not to sound so venomous.

"Do you need me to protect you Momma? I can do it!" Regina let out a soft chuckle, her heart warming up in the process.

"No, no baby… I just want it to be you and me, no Mary Margaret." Regina looked away emotionally, already feeling Snow ripping away her happy ending.

She let a few tears fall and Emma instantly fussed in her seat, attempting to take off her safety belt and making her way to her mother. "Momma…" Emma whispered.

She had quickly escaped her seat and already had her small hand on Regina's face.

"I promise Momma, when I grow up, you won't cry anymore… I will be your knight!" Regina smiled widely and grabbed her child's hand.

"Yes my love, you will..."  

* * *

 

That was one of Regina's fondest memories of Emma. No one… not even her father defended her, even with cause and reason.

And Emma, Emma just knew. She knew Regina was upset and instantly wanted to protect her. Just like Regina would always protect Emma. She truly was her little knight...

Regina quickly made her way to Dr. Hopper's office for a much needed session. She'd just dropped off Emma at school, to a teacher who was thankfully not Snow. She'd been seeing Dr. Hopper on a number of occasions, sure the cricket may have helped the charmings, but in this town she found his words extremely helpful. And after sending Sydney away a couple of years back, she really needed a person to confide in. Dr. Hopper fit that description and thankfully knew nothing of their past, just her and her parenting struggles.

And also, Dr. Hopper loved Emma very much. Sydney on the other hand had instantly hated Emma, he envied her, and she was not having it. No matter how good of a mirror he was.

"Regina, how nice to see you." Dr. Hopper smiled kindly.

"Let's get to the point Dr. Hopper, Emma is 7 now and she still shares a bed with her mother." Regina looks down with a hint of embarrassment.

"Would you like to sit Regina?" Dr. Hopper pulls the chair out for her. She sighs deeply and makes her way to the comforting chair.

"So tell me again Regina, what is the problem?"

"I told you Archie! Emma, she's a 7 year old, she's already in school, she has no friends and… and I don't think it's okay for a 7 year old to sleep with her mother still… what happens when she is 12, 14,16?!"

"I see." Dr. Hopper replies nodding his head.

"And the worst part of this is, I've tried, I've tried to get her to decorate her own room, get her favorite bed sheets, and tell her she's a big girl… But all that she got from that was pain. She literally ran away from me and hid in the bathroom crying that I didn't love her." She looks down again.

"She didn't come out till I promised she could sleep with me." She lowers her voice unable to look at the amnesia induced cricket. 

"And how do you feel about it Regina? Emma clearly hates it, but you? Why the sudden worry?"

"It isn't normal Archie, I… I want her to have a good life, I want her to have a social life… she can't do that when she can't even sleep without her mother. What if the other kids find out? I don't want them making fun of her." She looks back up, eyes tired with stress.

"Well Regina, she clearly is very attached to you. And you clearly do not want to hurt your child's feelings. But I'm afraid that what you need to do is be the mother."

"What do you mean Archie?" Regina instantly squints her eyes with confusion.

"You have to show your authority, let her know you are the mother and you know what's best… it may hurt, but that is what part of being a mother is." He says sympathetically.

"I see…" Regina grabs her aching chest through her silk shirt.

"Thank you Dr. Hopper."

**(Later That Day, Night Time.)**

"But Momma I can't!" Emma screams, her tears already falling.

"My love, yes you can." Regina crouches onto her knee and gently grabs Emma's shoulders.

"But Momma, it hurts." Emma points to her chest, her small finger painfully pressing harder.

"Emma STOP IT!" Emma instantly hushes down, eyes wide. Regina had never used this tone with her, and it killed her but she knows she must.

"Listen young lady, you are growing up into a big girl now, you cannot sleep with Momma anymore, and that's final Emma Mills!" She sternly adds.

Emma instantly runs into her room in tears, the room that she'd avoided for 5 years, and quickly closes the door. Regina runs to the now shut door but forcefully stops herself. She needs to show authority… she breathes in and decides to leave Emma alone, to cry it out… she needs to understand. Regina turns away slowly, making her way to her own individual room… yes, individual, just hers… hers alone.

As she lays herself on her soft sheets, she blinks away her tears… trying to hold it together.

She presses a strong slender finger on her chest… feeling a ghost of a void.

**(Next Morning)**

Regina finds Emma in her room sound asleep. She did it… Emma was now asleep in her own room. She makes her way to her little knight and presses a soft kiss on Emma's forehead.

"Emma, wake up." She whispers in her ear.

"Momma?" Emma rubs her eyes to wake.

"It's time for school honey."

"Oh… yeah." Emma blinks, her tired eyes looking anywhere but at Regina.

"See, that wasn't so bad, was it?" Regina encourages with a smile.

"I… I promise to be brave and strong Momma, I'll show you that I am still your knight. I will sleep here." Emma sniffs… her eyes already watery.

"Oh my little knight, you truly are brave." She kisses Emma rewardingly. Emma's eyes go wide, her smile instantly replacing her frown.

"Now let's go make some pancakes!" Regina pulls Emma's blankets away smiling proudly.

"Yes!" Emma squeals jumping from her bed to her mother's arms.

Regina squeezes tight.

"Now let's see who gets to the kitchen first!" Emma quickly lets go and runs off, her laughter filling the house once again, the void was gone.

**(5 years gone by.)**

Emma sat quietly, head buried in a book. She'd promised her mother she'd be brave, but that didn't mean it hurt Emma any less. She wrote and wrote, that was the only time she could show her emotions… on paper. She sat in her school's library, the only place she felt safe enough to write her thoughts.

Her mother never found out… that night Emma ran into her room 5 years back. Emma searched her room that night, in tears and frustration. She never did explore it. After a few minutes of searching she found a notebook, a journal, her now Diary. She scribbled and wrote until her tears stopped. When she looked at the pages all she saw was release. Since then, she's confided in her diary ever since.

She is now 12 years old and a much better writer. It meant she could write all her secrets and thoughts, thoughts that her Mother would never understand. And that was why she always sat in here… the library. It was her safe haven, other than her room. That was about the only thing she liked about her room… the safety.

"Emma?" Her head shoots up, her writing interrupted.

"Mary Margaret!" Emma quickly stands, her notebook quickly put away in her bag.

"Emma what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in lunch with the other kids?" Mary Margaret asks.

Mary Margaret had become a close acquaintance of Emma's. She wasn't her teacher, her mother made sure of that, and she could never call her a friend, she couldn't bear to see her mother's face if she was. She doesn't know what Mary Margaret did to her mother, but she knows her mother goes through great lengths to keep them apart.

Acquaintance's, that's all they would be. Mary Margaret had approached her first; she would catch Emma writing, hiding somewhere in the school grounds, always kept to herself. Mary Margaret seemed to care, like she was drawn to this child by nature. And Emma was kind at heart; she didn't dare ignore her… Emma had never even heard Mary Margaret mention her mother to her, so she felt it was okay to speak to her. Her mother doesn't know… but Mary Margaret is the reason why she wrote so well at 12.

Every so often during lunch, Mary M would look for her and give her a few tips and lessons on writing, giving her books to borrow and learn from. She was very thankful for this, and her mother was all smiles when she realized just how wonderful Emma's vocabulary and grammar was by age 10.

"I see you were writing in that book of yours again." Mary Margaret smiled proudly.

She almost seemed like a proud mother. But that was something no one could replace. No one was like her mother. Her mother was… She quickly blinks and shakes her head; she wasn't going to finish that thought.

"I've had this journal forever Mary M, I could never just stop." Emma responds face looking down.

Mary Margaret nods knowingly.

"Emma…" she takes a few steps closer.

"Listen, I know you love to write and read… I found this last night and instantly thought of you." That's when Emma notices it; Mary Margaret had it in her hands when she came in… a book, a big one.

"I see you everyday Emma, everyday you are writing, and I see it… sadness." Mary Margaret looks down sadly.

"You are to young Emma, to feel such things… listen I know your mother, she can be a handful but I'm sure she loves you very…" Mary Margaret is instantly cut off.

"Ms. Blanchard, my mother loves me very much… I'd appreciate it if you didn't assume." That's when Mary Margaret sees it… the Mayor in her. She was definitely Regina's kid. She thought wrong; all these years she's seen Emma… a kind and gentle girl… but a gleam of sadness in her eyes. She always assumed it was the adopted child syndrome… but if Mary Margaret recalls, Emma shouldn't know that fact.

All she wanted though, all Mary Margaret wanted… was for this child to be happy, like she wanted all her kids to be. But also, she felt it too… the loneliness, she always wondered why Emma had that same look Mary Margaret had herself… like they were missing something. One day she hoped to find out why, why this child had this look in her eyes. But for now, all she could offer was hope… hope for whatever it was that Emma wanted.

"I'm sorry, Emma that was not my intention, Mayor Mills is an amazing mother I'm sure."

"She is." Emma smiles lovingly.

"So let me make it up to you, this book… Once Upon A Time is filled with fairy tales, dreams, and hope." Mary Margaret places it in Emma's hands.

"I want you to have it Emma… I also want you to have hope, that whatever it is you want… you will have." Emma's eyes sparkle.

She instantly felt her fingers warm up, like they were on fire, a good fire. This book, this book was going to be an adventure.

"Thank you Mary M." Emma smiles genuinely, that smile Mary Margret felt in her chest.

"You are welcome Emma… I have to go now, I hope you enjoy it." Mary Margaret pats Emma's shoulder and walks away.

**(2 weeks later)**

Her Mom was going on a date… a date! Emma ran her hands through her long golden locks, the wavy ends tangling in her fingers. Graham was back in town and her mother was going out tonight.

Sometimes Emma felt anger… she loved her mother so much, but as she grew, she felt this anger, why had her mother made her leave her room, their room. Why did her mother have to go on this date? With Graham! Why didn't she tell Emma? Did her mom not care how Emma felt or what Emma thought?

"Regina, my queen." She could hear Graham come into their home, THEIR home. My queen? Emma's eyes suddenly go from wide to serious. Why was the Sheriff calling her mother a queen? Emma… Emma was her knight!

"Sheriff, I'm glad you could make it… shall we go?" Regina nods almost demanding.

"Off course!" Graham grabs her arm into his as they make their way out of the mansion.

"I'll be back soon honey, Granny is in the kitchen making you your favorite, bear claws!" Regina screams to the top of the stairs.

"Thanks Mom!" Emma screams down, a hint of pain in her chest as she realizes she can't stop this. As soon as the door shuts Emma runs to her room and shuts her door, she needed to write.

**(The date)**

Granny had become her most trusted sitter. She realized hating everyone was not going to help her raise a child. At least not in a safe environment she wanted Emma to be. So she made some selections, Granny being one of them. Not only could Granny cook, she could fight, and that was most important for Regina... especially now.  

Sydney was back. Sydney was back and he was furious. This was not a date, she had to tell Emma this because of reasons… she knew Emma was a curious child and she couldn't let her suspect anything. Especially with the current situation, Emma would go crazy and try to protect Regina, probably getting them both into a bigger situation.

Graham and her needed to talk. They needed a plan. Sydney had called her phone, how he escaped his prison? She had no idea. But he was furious… and mad, he made threats. Threats not only to her, but to her daughter, she needed protection, and without her magic, she needed Graham.

She was going to kill Sydney; they just needed to find him first. She thought back to the call she got not long ago… chills making their way to her skin.

 

_"My Queen, how lovely to hear your voice… soon I will be hearing those lovely screams of yours, and that child of yours? That child who took you away from me, is dead… you lock me up and torture me…the only person who truly loved you… good luck sleeping alone at night, soon, you'll be all mine."_

She grabs Graham's arm, her memory scaring her. "You have to find him Graham, and kill him." She tightens his arm further.

"Yes Regina, It'll start my hunt tonight, I'll protect you and Emma." He pats her shoulder and makes his way.

* * *

 

 "Granny?" Emma speaks, halfway done with her bear claw. "Yes child?" Granny smiles affectionately.

"I want to be Sheriff when I grow up." Emma says seriously, Bear claw in hand.

"What makes you say that Emma?" Granny smiles with curiosity.

"I don't like Graham, and.. and… I want to protect Storybrooke from all the bad guys… and I want to protect my Mom." She swallows a piece roughly.

"Well darling, I see nothing wrong with that… but you have nothing to fear, Graham is a good man, he's a very good friend of your mothers and you know Regina loves you most, she would never be with someone she does not trust with you." Emma just looks down, frustration present.

"I guess." She whispers.

"I'm done Granny." Emma hands Granny the plate, she couldn't even finish the bear claw.

**(Later that night)**

"Emma honey…" Regina knocks on Emma's door. "Come in!" Emma was already in bed, her journal hidden under her blankets.

"I'm back honey, Granny just left, did you have fun?" Regina asks, sitting on her bed.

"Yeah, you know Granny makes the best bear claws…" Emma responds looking away.

"Are you alright Emma? Regina's asks, her eyes filled with concern.

"Yes Mom, I'm okay…" Emma lies through her teeth. She wanted to tell her mother that she was upset… and, and angry for going out with Graham… but she had no good reason to be, so she decided to stay quiet. Regina grabs Emma's hand in her own and kisses it softly, making Emma's cheek as rosy as when she first laid eyes on her.

"Mom, I'm really sleepy…" Emma gulps with nerves.

"Okay honey, if you need to talk about anything… I'm in the other room okay."

"Okay Mom, I , I love you." Emma yawns, feigning sleep.

"Me too my little knight." Regina says, leaning in to kiss Emma's forehead goodnight.

"I'm not little anymore Mom." Emma grunts childishly, making Regina laugh a little to herself.

"Alright, my big strong little knight." Regina giggles out loud, receiving a funny glare from Emma.

"Alright, alright, go to sleep honey, I was just kidding, I love you okay?" Emma can't help but smile. Regina makes her way out, closing Emma's door, still having Sydney in the back of her mind.

"Night, my queen…" Emma whispers, Regina not hearing a word.


	4. Chapter 4

**She couldn't write this…**

Emma knew this was something she could never write down in her journal. She'd written things she couldn't share with anyone before, especially her mother, but this… this felt wrong, wrong and good, good and evil. A few weeks after her mother's date with the sheriff, all of Emma's worst fears and thoughts had been released. Things she had written about since her mother forced her to separate herself from her bedroom. Things she kept hidden because she did not know how to express herself to her, without sounding like a coward. All she wanted was for her mother to be proud of her. She always wanted to be a true example of a knight. And her expressing her thoughts, her weird, needy and cowardly thoughts would change that.

But this… she never wrote anything like this. Her body had never gone through something like this, and she felt ashamed. Worse, she did not feel like her mother's protector, or a knight. All her mother ever did was show her warmth and love. Regina was Emma's home, Emma's kingdom.

Ever since she could remember she felt so attached, like the sticky glue in school. She could never remove it from her hands… she could never remove her heart, it belonged to only her. She felt things that she wondered if her mother ever felt back, things that she'd only ever read in books. But the only thing was… those things were all okay to her, no one could ever tell her not to feel what she had written down, because she undeniably felt them.

But this… this was something else, something new, and she feared it. Not because of what it made her feel… but what her mother would do if she found out, she'd hate her.

**(Earlier that week)**

After Graham dropped off her mother a second time that week, she felt a burning sensation, was it anger? What was it? Emma wondered. She felt the sudden need to be her mother's shadow, even more so then usual. She felt the need to keep her eyes on Regina… on _her_ Queen. Ever since she heard the Sheriff call her mother this… she never wanted to hear it from anybody else's mouth again… just her own.

She didn't know why... But it felt right.

The morning after her mother and the sheriffs date, she felt the need she felt as a child. To be in her mother's arms, in her bed, just the two of them. She quickly and quietly made her way down the hall and into her mother's room, thankful that her mother never locked any rooms in this house. She made her way into the barely lit room, dawn barely making its way into Storybrooke.

She tip toed into her room and straight into her sheets, ready to find the warmth she'd been writing about for many school semesters. But she was met my nothingness, a ball of sheets.

"Mom?" She wasn't in her bed.

Her mother would never get up this early to get to the town hall.

Worry hit her chest as she ran to her mother's bathroom, where was she? As soon as she stepped in, her thoughts were obliterated and replaced with… with…

"Emma!" Regina squealed, her mother stood there clothes less and wet.

"Oh honey, you scared me!" She smiled relieved, hand in chest.

Emma's eyes grew wide. She could feel her throat tighten, the air being knocked out of her. Her mother… her mother was beautiful, she couldn't look away… her palms began to sweat and her knees began to wobble.

What was this?

She swallowed thickly, her cheeks beginning to redden like before. This again? Why was her heart racing? She'd never felt like this before. Yet again, she hadn't seen her mother like this since she was 5. She never knew someone could be this enchanting. It reminded her of the Queen's and Goddess's she'd read about.

"Emma!" her mother says loudly, snapping her out of her dreadful thoughts.

Her mother coughs awkwardly.

"Honey what are you doing in here? Is everything okay? I called your name more than once." Regina quickly takes a step back, reaching for a towel, covering herself from her daughter.

"You weren't in the room, I was worried about you." Emma drifts off; embarrassed that her mother might have noticed her red cheeks and quick heart beat.

"Well I'm here honey, I'm okay… I just couldn't sleep." She walks towards Emma, placing her soft and safe hands on her smaller shoulders.

"Emma, did you need something sweetheart?" Regina whispers, wondering why Emma was in her room so early in the first place.

"Oh… I don't know. I just… I just wanted to come lay with you." Emma swallows nervously, she felt weak again.

"Oh honey, you are always welcome my love… how about this weekend you and I have a sleepover, Just the two of us?" Regina smiles widely, one of Emma's favorite smiles.

"Deal…" Emma's eyes instantly sparkle. Regina leans down and kisses her temple softly.

"Okay mom, gonna go to bed now! I'm sooo sleepy." Emma quickly runs out the room and straight to hers. She needed to think… she needed to write.

"Okay darling..." Regina's eyebrow arches in question. 

* * *

 

This was Emma's dilemma, the dilemma she is still contemplating on writing. As soon as she ran back into her room that night she grabbed her pen and paused… the fear hit her, hit her 12 year old face.

She was 12… she was a girl… her mother was… her mother… she couldn't write this chapter in her journals. She decided… she wasn't going to risk her mother finding this out. It's bad enough what she wrote before... but this, this was surely worse. It had to be…. She felt her chest tighten, almost as when she was a 7 year old being told she couldn't lie with her mother any longer.

**(Later that week)**

Night time had come again, and so had Regina's fear. Sydney had not been found. Graham searched every day and night, yet nothing. Every day she had the worry behind her mind, she could barely let Emma out of her sight. She'd been waking up at early hours just to keep guard… no one was hurting her daughter. She'd preferred Leopold's disgusting hands on her over somebody laying a finger on her Emma.

She had tucked in Emma, waiting an hour or so after she was certain Emma was a sleep. She lay on her bed, ready to temporarily dream away this nightmare and rest as much as possible.

Besides… this night Graham was parked outside the mansion, she could hopefully sleep a little better tonight. 

* * *

 

Things weren't that simple… Sydney was here.

He somehow managed to get passed Graham, and he was here, on top of her, tearing her sleeping gown open, his hand a firm grip on her neck.

He was going to rape her... and Emma, Emma was in the other room.

Her eyes already wide grow wider… Emma! She pushes harder against Sydney, receiving a hard punch across her face. She needed to protect Emma… her screams become louder, desperation taking over.

"Shhhh, quiet my Queen… you are mine now." He takes out duck tape wrapping it around Regina's swollen lips.

"You will wake the child, you don't want that now do you?" He smiles wickedly, leaning down and licking her tear stained cheek. He digs in his bag and takes out a thick rope… he's going to tie her… he's going to defile her. Regina squeezes her eyes shut… she needed her magic, she needed her magic… But Sydney's fun had just begun…

**(Emma's Room)**

Emma's eyes shoot open, her chest aching tremendously. She didn't understand? Something was wrong? That's when she heard it… her mother's scream. Emma's heart was instantly swallowed, fear and worry now present.

"Mom?" Emma whispers into her darkened room.

Thud, thud, thud… Emma could here objects being thrown from a distance. Something was wrong; someone was in her mother's room… What if? What if? What if it was Graham? Emma's heart clenched roughly… her mother would never! Something was wrong. Emma's eyes turn to anger, she was Regina's knight.

Her feet make their way to her nearby "sword" her baseball bat she always kept in her room. Her instincts take over as she quickly tip toes to her mother's room, the door already slightly open. Emma peaks in, and what she sees… what she sees makes her go red, tears in her eyes.

Her mother tied up, her mother's gown torn open, eyes shut in pain, blood on her face, and… and a man she did not know forcefully in between her mother's legs, his head buried in her most private place. He was… he was hurting her!

Her teeth grit and her hands clench…

That's when she felt it… a light in her chest coming out with a loud roaring sound, a light that went through her hands and straight to the man attacking her queen. His body instantly pushed away and out the window, breaking the glass with the force. Emma had no time to take in the magic she never knew she had or existed… because she was already by her mother's side, her slightly smaller arms wrapping around her.

She grabs the tip of the tape and gently peels it away from her mother's bloody lip.

"I'm here…" Emma whispers… tears covering her face.

"Emma….you… Oh Emma…" Regina couldn't hold it in; she cries… her face in Emma's chest. Regina shuts her eyes tightly… Emma was okay… Emma was _her_ savior.

* * *

 

**Emma saved her…**

Emma saved them both, and… she has magic. Emma was only 12, and she somehow released her magic in this magic less town; she truly was the Savior.

"Oh Emma…" Regina thought out loud.

She had seen too much… It was bad enough having that monster violate and beat her, but her child had seen it with her own eyes, something she never wished upon her.

She had to talk to Emma, even in pain and a state of trauma, Emma would always come first.

Her pain and her trauma... how could this happen to her again?

First Leopold, and now, now that monster of a mirror… Sydney. If only she had her magic, she would have killed him as soon as he stepped foot in her presence… and, and would have saved the pain her body was currently in. And Emma… she could have saved her child's mind from something she should have never seen.

"Regina." She feels a hand on her shoulder.

Yes indeed, and to makes things worse Dr. Whale, Victor… was the one treating her.

The man who if knowing who she was would surely let her die, murder her instead. She couldn't handle it. She couldn't handle feeling a man's hands on her right now; especially someone she knew despised her.

"Please Dr. Whale, can you not pat my shoulder right now…" Regina sent her infamous glare, one this town was far too familiar with in the past. Before Emma that is.

He instantly swaps his own hand away, in concern and fear.

"You've been through a lot tonight Regina, it is perfectly normal to feel the way you do." He looks at her sympathetically.

"As for your results…" He lifts the pad with paper work at his view.

"Since there was no penetration involved, you are completely fine… other than a couple of bruises and scrapes, you will heal." He puts his pad away and smiles warmly.

"Emma's outside… she wasn't allowed in here, for age reasons, but she's been asking about you and pleading with the nurses to let her in."

"Oh, Emma…" Regina's eyes instantly soften, her eyes becoming watery.

"Regina, promise me you'll go see Dr. Hopper, its necessary and part of your recovery." She inhales stressfully… she had no one when Leopold did the things he did… when her mother abused her.

What was the difference now? She would deal with it… she survived before. Besides, she had Emma now. She had to be strong.

"I will do that Dr. Whale." Regina lies through her teeth.

**(Waiting room)**

As soon as Regina made her way in the room, she was met by a teary eyed Emma running into her arms.

"Mom!" Regina was pushed back into a tight embrace, almost falling in the process.

"Emma." Regina whispered, a smile forming on her bruised face.

"Oh mom, I'm so sorry." Emma's tears began to fall, her voice hoarse.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry I didn't get there sooner… I saw what, I saw…" Emma couldn't finish the sentence, because anger, dread and other things filled her mind. She could feel the sensations she felt before she blasted that imp away.

"Shhh, baby it's okay, it's okay… I will be okay." Regina presses a kiss on her head.

Regina looks ahead, Granny and Ruby were there as well… to look after Emma. They had tears? They were worried about her, about the Evil Queen?

She carefully leaned into Emma's ear, looking up to make sure Granny and Ruby could not hear.

Pressing her lips against Emma's ear she whispers…

"I'm okay thanks to you my love, thanks to your magic." Emma's eyes go wide.

She had so many thoughts about this dreadful night… the fear of her mother being scared of her being one of them. But her queen smiled softly at her, not scared… but proud?

"I… I love you mom." Emma smiles contently.

Regina slowly leans back up, her hips feeling an instant pain from the attack. She lets out an audible cry.

"Mom?! Are you okay?!" Emma makes her way next to her mother, wrapping an arm around her back.

"Regina?" Ruby and Granny make their way towards the Mayor.

Regina smiles politely, and almost nervously… they knew what happened, she felt ashamed and embarrassed. People would think she was weak… a weak Mayor. She self consciously wrapped her arms around herself.

"Regina, we're glad you're okay… we were worried... What Sydney did, we…"

"It's alright." Regina stops them.

"He's dead now." Emma's eyes look down.

"He deserved it if you ask me." Granny spits out lending Regina a hand.

"Now, let's get you to the car child." Granny kindly smiles, they all walk Regina protectively to her car.

**(3 nights have gone by.)**

She could hear her mother cry. When she thought no one could hear her… Emma would stand by her room's door and listen.

She felt a sudden need to protect her, keep an eye on her. She would never let it happen again, she would never let anyone lay a hand on her, put their hands on her, on her….

Her eyes shut tightly, the flashback hitting her mind.

She could see that man's head and mouth devouring her mother… her mother's most special part.

She's tried to forget it… but the image kept popping in her head. She felt the pressure in her chest.

How would she ever get rid of this feeling… this feeling of uselessness?

She wanted to soothe her mother… she wanted to take the pain away. If Emma got these flashbacks, what was her mother seeing? She wanted to make a new memory for her. She wanted too…

She suddenly silenced her thoughts… she could hear her mother's cries begin again. She leaned her head closer, practically making herself part of the closed door.

She reaches a hand and rubs the door, imagining her mother's soft black hair.

After a couple of minutes of sitting outside her door, tears on her own face, she no longer heard her mother cry. Sometimes it would worry her… she wanted to be in that room with her, make sure no one was inside… But every time she'd check on her, she had just cried herself to sleep.

She'd grab the blankets and pull them higher, under her chin. Just like her mother would tuck her in before.

It was time to go in and check…

This time, this time was different…

Emma's eyes went wide, her throat swallowing her surprise.

Her mother lay in bed, asleep, tears noticeable on her pale cheeks.

But this time… this time… her legs were uncovered, her thighs and nightgown in view.

It hit's her again… that man on top of her mother, on top of her queen.

She rubs her eyes hard trying to get rid of the image… but she can't, she can't. She wants to make her mother better; she wants to make her forget. So she does the first thing her body tells her to, the unthinkable…

Something inside her pulls her forward, her legs hitting the end of the bed.

She slowly crawls into the sheets, closer to her mother's inner thighs, her heart begins beating through her chest.

This was the position Sydney was in… this was the memory she would erase and make new.

She would make her mother better…

She gently opens her mother's long legs and pushes her way in between, feeling the warmth hug her tightly...

That's when she sees it… the marks, the bruises, the memory that he left behind.

Her mother's most precious part… it looked so soft and pink. Just the way it did when she found him, his lips attached against, against... She could smell a scent, a scent that made her feel a weird sensation… her heart raced. All she cared about, all she wanted was to make her forget. She wanted to forget… she wanted to be good memories for her… erase that man.

She couldn't take it, she could no longer hold it in… her mouth instantly connects to her mother's soft and pleasantly warm vagina.

The place she would fix.

She kisses in between the soft folds and hums into her mother's thighs. She would kiss these bruises away.

She feels her mother begin to wake, but she doesn't stop… she just lifts the blankets on top of herself, as if to hide.

"Mmm." Regina groans lightly, her body stirring itself awake.

Emma kisses gentler and slower. She feels her chest tighten; she's ready to say it.

"What? What is?" Regina's eyes open confused, her voice groggy.

Emma's tongue grazes her mother gently.

"I promise I'll protect you…." Emma whispers.

Regina's eyes instantly go wide. She's awake, and she doesn't understand what is happening.

"My queen." Emma whispers again, letting out her confession, not able to resist it any longer.

"Emma, what are you?" Regina cannot help but whisper. This was so wrong.

Emma holds her mother's legs tighter.

"I'm kissing it better." Emma kisses Regina's bottom lips fiercely.

Regina lets out an unexpected moan, instantly slapping her hand on to her mouth to shut herself.

"Emma, stop it!" Regina shakes her head, hands pushing Emma away roughly.

Emma quickly snaps out of her strange trance and crawls out of the sheets, cheeks red, and out of breath.

"Mother!" Emma's eyes are wide with shock.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!" Regina yells, her face full of horror.

Emma's heart suddenly shatters. Her mother's face showing nothing but fear? She had caused… she had caused her mother the same thing that man did… She… she's failed her.

"I…" Emma cannot speak.

Regina looks down, realizing her bottom half was revealed, she quickly pulls her gown down covering herself immediately.

Emma's cheeks flush, her eyes shutting tight. She really messed up.

"My queen…" Emma whispers her mother's name.

Her chest puffs out and the words come out, words she herself didn't know were coming.

"I LOVE YOU!"

"My Queen? " Regina's eyebrows arch up, her head shaking furiously, tears of worry in her eyes.

"Emma… this isn't right, I'm your mother!" She screams the last words.

"Mother, I… I'm sorry… it just..." Emma shuts her mouth up, before she says anymore.

Regina realizes then… she had to say it, or else something far worse could happen.

"Emma… it's disgusting." Regina narrows her eyes, giving Emma nothing but that Evil Queen look.

Emma's eyes quickly look away confused… her mother had just called her disgusting and made the face, the face that only the townspeople have ever seen. She wasn't her knight anymore… She could never love her.

The dark moonlit room is instantly filled with Emma's scream; her eyes filled with falling tears and her voice letting out a loud wail.

"Emma?" Regina calls her name worriedly, eyes wide. Regina had never seen her child in so much despair.

But Emma does not hear it…

Emma feels that feeling again… the burning sensation in her chest, her magic.

She suddenly disappears, a cloud of light smoke taking her.

"EMMMMAAA!" Regina screams, her voice echoing into her now empty room.


	5. Chapter 5

**Regina needed to find her…**

She needed to find Emma. It had been over 24 hours now, and still there was no sign of her. She needed help, she needed something she would have never asked for in the past.

She needed all the help she could get to find her… so she got it.

The search consisted of Ruby, Granny, Dr. Hopper and Graham. She couldn't do this on her own, and Gold… he refused as always.

"Regina what happened?" Ruby asks, flashlight in hand. It had already darkened.

"What would make Emma leave? Especially with what you've been through child, she would never…" Granny added.

"She… it was a misunderstanding, just a misunderstanding..." Regina looks down, swallowing the lump that had been in her throat since Emma disappeared. She grabbed her chest tight, she needed to find her; she needed to tell her that it was okay, it was okay to confuse that kind of love with the other... that it didn't, it did not matter.

All that mattered now, all that mattered was finding her and holding her, complete her heart once again.

"No luck Regina…" Dr. Hopper had just made his way back to the mansion, the place they all agreed to rendezvous. They thought it would be the wisest, that hopefully Emma would come back and they'd find her there. But there was no luck, the mansion was empty. Regina quickly fumbled through her purse, grabbing her phone and impatiently waited for Graham to pick up.

"Graham!" Regina speaks desperately.

"I'm sorry my queen, there is no word." He speaks through the line tiredly.

"Well keep looking Graham! Where else could she be?! Please just find her." Regina's tears begin once again.

"I promise not to rest my queen." The line goes dead.

She inhales deeply, stress and pain never leaving. It wouldn't, not until Emma was back. She turns around, facing the worried crowd, her friends? No, no, Emma's friends.

"I want to thank you all for today, please, if you hear or see anything, call me. Let us start our search again tomorrow." Regina's eyes plead softly.

"Off course,." They all say in unison.

"Try to get some sleep Regina; you need to rest for tomorrow." Ruby pats her back, Granny nods in agreement.

"And if you need to talk, I'm here." Dr. Hopper pulls his cap down and nods.

"I will Archie… thank you." Regina quickly turns around, ready to head inside, figure out what to do next. She did not know how much longer she could bare it… the void was bound to come back. But her void, her void did not matter at this point... all that mattered was Emma's safety. 

All she needed was for Emma to come back home.

**(Outside the town line)**

She'd appeared right outside the town's line. As soon as that white smoke and tingling sensation took a hold of her, she suddenly appeared behind this red line. She needed to escape… her magic took her here, outside of Storybrooke. Was running away the only option? She had just told her mother that she loved her! What else could she do? Regina hated her… her queen despised her.

It was cold, dark and silent. She wished she'd have actual clothing on… all she wore were her girl briefs and a t-shirt she wore to bed. She shivered as the night's cold breeze hit her frame, her shamed body. It's no wonder her magic took her here, even it knew she didn't deserve to be with her mother… she didn't deserve to be near her… she was just a _disgusting_ child, a child… nothing more.

She was not a sheriff, not a lover, and especially not a knight. Her eyes narrowed, just as her mothers had moments ago.

"I know what I have to do…" Emma murmurs into the cold air.

* * *

 

She waited all day long, poofing away every time Archie or Ruby were nearby, she couldn't be seen. Her plan would never work. Her mother would find her, and she would never… she would never bare the shame. As soon as nightfall hit, she made her way to her mother's mansion. Yes… her mother's, it was no longer hers… she did not deserve it.

As her mother's disgusted face replayed over and over Emma's brain, erasing Sydney successfully but making no difference in pain, she made her way quietly into her room. That room that was never really hers… She grabbed as many items as she could; her backpack, her hoodie, and the book Mary Margaret had given her. She needed something she hadn't read before… something for the road. She'd leave her journal… with a note inside, a note for Regina… so she'd know. So she'd know she was at least okay… She wouldn't cause her any more trouble.

She quietly made her way to the now forbidden room…. her mother's room. She needed to get one last thing… As soon as her sneakered feet touched her mother's room floor, there she lay in bed. She lay on her disheveled sheets, books spread all around the bed. As she got closer, she read some open pages… a location spell? Emma's head tilted sideways.

"Off course" Emma thought. Her mother was not at all offended by her magic… because she knew….

"How?" Emma wondered.

Her head shook violently… this was no time for questions. She had no right to stay and ask.

As quietly as she could, Emma opened the drawer next to her mother's sleeping body. She found her last items.

Within the drawer was a jewelry box, a jewelry box Emma knew contained a bunch of valuable things. This was her way out… This was also her first time stealing. She was stealing from her mother… something she'd never do. But she had too, to make it possible, possible to… She put the valuable items in her Bag, she was ready… But before she could leave… she had to do one last thing, she could not handle not doing so.

She turned to face her mother's sleeping face and slowly leaned down. She needed to say goodbye. She needed to kiss her lips...

She wasn't going to see her for a long time. She could feel the warm breath from her mother's mouth hit her slightly smaller one, this was it… this was her goodbye. But before she could press her ready lips, her mother's eyes opened wide.

"Emma?!" Regina quickly grabs her arm.

"Mom?!" Emma cries in despair. She could not speak to her further… or else she could never leave. She had to leave now.

 "Goodbye Mother, I love you." Emma murmurs. Emma's eyes shed a single tear, a tear that lands perfectly onto Regina's soft face. Before Regina could respond, she felt Emma's arm dissipate.

"Emma wait!"

It was too late…

Emma was taken away once again, by the white smoke Regina had grown to hate. She was gone. And Regina had the most horrid feeling that she would never see her again. It was her turn to let out a high pitched cry.

* * *

 

Emma ran… she ran as fast as she could. The line was just a few feet away, and she knew if she turned back her feet would stop. And she could not stop, she had to do this! Just one more step and…

She made it… she was outside of Storybrooke. She knew what she had to do… she had decided once her magic brought her here the day before. She was leaving, and she wasn't coming back... not until she was everything her mother would love;

a sheriff, a knight, and most of all… an adult. And if her mother did not love her then… then she truly was disgusting.


	6. Chapter 6

**Three months without her…**

3 months without Emma.

The void had undeniably returned, as soon as Emma disappeared in front of her eyes 3 months prior. The emptiness had came back. But that emptiness did not matter any longer; all she wanted was to have Emma back, safe and sound.

Her loneliness had no importance, as long as Emma was safe. But all she had was her room and her things, nothing more. She had not touched her things since. She did not think she could handle it… but after so many days and weeks she finally lay on her Emma's sheets, smelling her scent. The tears no longer came out… they had been replaced by noticeable bags under her eyes; a result of crying far too many days in a row. She held on tight to her daughters pillows, imagining her instead. But with this sadness came frustration.

She threw Emma's pillows forward, hard against Emma's walls. Her eyes closed, she suddenly felt something underneath where the pillow had been. Her eyes opened curiously and timidly, a journal? It was a black journal with the words Emma scribbled in front of it… was this Emma's Diary? She had never laid her eyes on this. Did Emma not tell her?

Emma told her everything…. Regina felt shame rise in her chest, not everything, she thought to herself.

She visibly winced, not being able to ignore the pain that came with her thoughts. 

What could Emma have written? What did she keep hidden? Regina dreaded those answers but had to know. As she lifted the book a piece of paper, a letter, slid out of the pages.

"A letter?" Regina whispered to no one. She quickly snapped out of her clueless mind and unfolded it… she needed to know. She needed to speak with her daughter, and this seemed to be the only way.

"To my beloved mother, my queen." Regina read, it was for her!

She eagerly continued to read what she feared.

**(Emma's Letter)**

_To my beloved mother, my queen._

_Mom, I'll be okay. Please do not worry, I promise to come back one day. All I wanted was to make you smile and be proud of me, but all I caused was pain and fear. I've caused you what that monster caused you… I am no different. I saw it when I saw your face… disgust. I am not worthy to even be called your child…. These thoughts… these thoughts aren't... I mean even if I wasn't your child… I am still just that, a child. What could you possibly see in me?_

_I am leaving mother, I will grow and come back… and if I still disgust you… well it couldn't be helped. I know you must think I am crazy but… I've left you my journal, my deepest thoughts, maybe then… maybe then you'll see? If my love is unrequited, at least I know you'll know… this was not your fault, but my own. You are nothing but a wonderful woman, a perfect mother… so please do not blame yourself, just wait for me. I will be back._

_Sincerely, your future knight Emma_

* * *

 

 

Regina dropped to her knees as soon as she began reading Emma's letter. She had wandered off into the house, getting lost.

The floor hit her knees, snapping her into reality.

Emma was gone… and it was her fault.

She should have noticed, she should have known.

But she did notice… and that's what has been killing her the most.

It hit her the night she found Emma on top of her, in between her… she couldn't finish that sentence. She should have been more aware and more concerned.

She could recall a time where Emma walked in on her in the bathroom, she stood there naked and Emma was obviously blushing at what she saw… why hadn't she… why didn't she say something? She could have been more concerned, she could have told Emma to knock before going in… that it was not right to see a person naked, especially her mother…

But that was just it… she let her. Regina's tears began anew. She let her child see her, and she blushed herself in the process…

She… she found it adorable, her child was just being herself… she didn't see a big deal in it. All children go through it… but, but she let her and did not think twice on explaining anything to her. It was just natural for them… ever since they became one… it was always her and Emma, how could she… how could she discipline her child's growth?!

"It's my fault…" Regina muttered into the empty hall.

She… she let her. And if she was just a better mother, a better person, she could have stopped this. She let her child grow these feelings for her… She slowly walked into her bedroom, the bedroom she once shared with her child, realizing that that too was a mistake. She softly sat on the chair beside her window, and began the first page of Emma's secrets.

**(Outside of Storybrooke, Hopkins Minnesota)**

3 months went by, and Emma had gotten nowhere but into trouble.

As soon as she tried to get to a town, any town… an officer found her wandering the road and took her in. She had to lie and said she did not remember who she was, or else they would take her back. Later on she found out there was nowhere to go back too, Storybrooke was magic.

She realized when the officer pulled out a map to try to jog her memory… and there where Storybrooke should have been, was nowhere to be seen. They sent her straight to a foster care system… she was too old to be adopted right away. Something she did not want. She had a mother, she just needed to grow… she had the leverage… but as soon as she tried to run away from the home, she tried to sell the jewelry and had the cops called on her, sending her right back to this foster system.

Where was she?

Hopkins Minnesota… the magic less town. She also realized that as soon as she stepped foot out of Storybooke, her magic was nonexistent, something she quickly found as a downside to her plans. Foster care… there were so many children here; children that needed mothers, children who were abandoned, and were left all alone.

 _THESE CHILDREN WANTED MOTHERS!_ And it hit Emma bad… she had one and she was letting it go. But she could not, no she could not let herself think that way, she could not forget her plan. Even if she wanted to go back… she no longer knew the way, and no one would ever believe her. So she fearlessly raised her chest and decided to stay here… help the others find a home and grow.

 

* * *

 

Regina's heart could not bare it… her child suffered for so long, feeling these feelings she never spoke of.

The pain she felt when she was separated from Regina was undeniably the same pain Regina had felt… but for her child to feel it killed her more. Ever since she forced her to sleep on her own… it had started; the undeniable void that she too felt. But this wasn't romance… it was fate.

She and Emma were just meant to be…. This could not be anything more. What other explanation was there? Emma was a child and she a lonely queen who needed someone… a child, and nothing more. How could fate do this to her? It was impossible! And Regina refused to believe anything else. Until she got to the last pages… the pages where Emma felt those things she could not explain before, the pages where Emma explained those forbidden feelings…

Her child was indeed in love with her… and Regina could not do a thing to stop it, there was no Emma to stop.

 

* * *

 

It was bedtime at the foster home, 2 kids shared a room with her. At least nights didn't feel so lonely. Every night they'd ask her to tell a story, Emma knew many… She was the oldest one there, Todd was 8 and Lizzy was 6. She would be their protector, their older sister.

Tonight was exciting. She would be reading Once Upon A Time, the book Mary Margaret had given her. It was her first time reading it. She could not wait. She quickly tucked them into bed; just like her mother would and sat nearby… she opened the first page excitedly, little did she know she would begin to read her mother's very own secrets.

* * *

 

 

**A few months later.**

She'd pleaded and begged…

But Rumple had yet to give in. She needed his help and that imp wouldn't give it to her. It'd been over a year and she'd yet figured out how to cross the line and locate Emma. There was no magic here… no magic past the town line, and even if she did make a successful location spell, how would she, how would she find her, how would she find Emma? There was no magic over that damned line!

The void had turned into a tint of darkness, she became angrier once again. The only people she could stand were the wolf girl and Granny… not even Dr. Hopper was helping this time. She would not mind his company but she could not talk to him any longer. How could she possibly explain her daughter's darkest secrets, her daughter lusting over her own mother, _The Evil Queen?_

Lusting? That wasn't quite right…

Emma did not lust for her. She, she felt deeply… she, she loved her? Regina shook her head like so many times before. A year of these thoughts had triggered multiple questions. One of them being, could Emma truly have this love like feelings for her? Or was it a child's thing? She could not shake what she saw, felt, and read… deep within her imperfect chest; she knew… it might be real. But she hoped Emma would forget, and just miss her as a mother, and nothing more…

That she would return because she needed her mother… nothing more.

She did not dare feel disgust over her child's feelings… just fear, fear that her story, their story, would just complicate. After all, the evil queen always had to suffer didn't she? She found a happy ending and fate just wanted to rip that away... and so far it was succeeding. She no longer had her child, and when she found her… because she would surely find her, how would she fix it? How could she get their happy ending back?

Fate was… fate was an evil thing. She wasn't even sure if she believed in it, but why give her a wondrous gift like Emma just to rip it away in the most hideous of ways.

Her mother… her mother took away Daniel, now fate was taking away Emma. Was this the prophecy? Was this how her Happy Ending would be taken away? An incestual like affair destroying the only thing that's ever made her feel complete.

NO! Emma… her child wouldn't! And she would never, she would never do that to Emma. 

"Oh Emma…" Regina spoke the only words she could say.

"Why?" Regina's eyes glistened with question.

Why had Emma fallen for her? She was nothing but a bitter woman, a mother… she just could not fathom any of it.

Her palms began to sweat just like that night.

A couple of weeks ago she had woken, she had woken from a dream, a dream that she kept trying to forget, a memory that she needed to forget.

**(The Dream)**

_She felt a sudden sensation, a soft, warm, wonderful sensation… it came from under her sheets._

_She suddenly looks under the blankets and see's Emma… Emma looks up at her innocently and enamored._

_Regina's heart races…_

" _Emma?" Regina whispers._

" _What are you doing down there?" Regina tries to tighten her legs shut, she tries to get these sensations away from herself._

_Emma looks up at her from in between her legs and smiles._

_Regina shuts her eyes tight._

_Regina's heart throbs in completeness… the void clearing out._

_She opens them once again and looks down, ready to stop this madness, to push Emma away from her inner thighs._

_But suddenly... it is no longer Emma, but a much older looking woman, with beautiful blonde locks, a strong chiseled chin and those eyes?_

_Emma's eyes…_

" _My Queen?" The older woman asks cautiously in between her legs._

_It was… it was her child, it was Emma… but she was no longer a child… but her, her lover?_

* * *

"NO!" that is when Regina had forced herself to wake; she quickly pulled the sheets off her legs and examined the empty space between them…

"It was just a dream… " She exhales relieved.

But after that relief, the pain came rushing back… Emma was not there…

Emma was still gone.

* * *

 

Regina had not mentioned this to Dr. Hopper or even to herself… But she had had these dreams more than once… she could not remember anything else.

She needed to Find Emma, she needed to find her daughter and make new memories… remind her what a mother was supposed to be.

Imp or no Imp, she would bring her child back, if it was the last thing she did.

 

**(Outside of Storybrooke)**

Her mother was _The Evil Queen._  

Emma had stopped reading the book to the kids long ago; she could no longer share such a story with anyone. She could not share what horrid things her mother had done…

If Emma thought her heart could not break any further… she was wrong.

Her mother was indeed an evil queen who, who did horrible things.

She would not finish this book… she closed it and promised herself to not open it until she was face to face with her mother once again and could get the answers she needed… she would not judge her, she would wait till she grew and read the story with her, hopefully her mother would trust her and be honest. The pain was inevitable, but Emma was now 14 and realized something…

A year without her mother made her realize how lucky she was to have one. She had a home, food, and love. A few kids had already gotten adopted, she wasn't expecting to be one of them but somehow, it hurt not to be. One of the kids that she'd been reading too had gone to a home, and returned a week later. Liz was being starved and used for the money. She saw the damage that had been done; Liz could no longer really enjoy the fairytales once she had returned.

Emma wanted to return, she missed her mother.

She needed her mother. But she knew she had made a mistake that could not be taken back… she could not face her just yet.

And with all this new information she had gained, all she wanted was to grow wiser and stronger, so that she could face all the damage.

_Knock, knock._

"Emma." It was Ingrid, the foster home caretaker.

"Yes Ms. Ingrid?" Ingrid shook her head.

"You know you can call me Ingrid Emma." She smiles kindly.

"Ingrid." Emma smiles.

Emma did not have Regina anymore… but at least she had Ingrid. She had taken care of her; she had taken care of all of them. She could not have her mother's arms... But at least she had this. It could have been worse.

As soon as Emma smiled Ingrid let in a tall man and shorter woman, with hopeful eyes on her.

"Emma, this is Mr. and Mrs. Tate." Ingrid gently pressed her hand on Emma's shoulder, gently guiding her in front of the couple.

"They would like to get to know you Emma, and if all goes well, they would like to be your new parents." Ingrid smiled warmly and almost sadly.

"Par…parents?" Emma asked.

The man was the first to move forward, he slowly leaned down to Emma's height and smiled.

"Yes Emma, we would love it if you gave us a chance?" He hummed in question.

The women now joined his side.

"We've been wanting a daughter Emma… and as soon as we saw your picture, we knew." The women's eyes began to water.

"We did not want an infant, Noah and I agreed that a baby was not for us, but you… look at you, you're a princess, a teen that we would love to take into our care." The woman smiled warmly.

Emma was silent.

She had a mother… she had a parent.

She wasn't sure she could go through with this…. But she had to, how else would she survive and grow. She felt an odd feeling enter her chest… but instantly ignored it, she was going to do this… she had no choice.

"Hi, I'm Emma." She reached out her hand.

* * *

Meanwhile, back in Storybrooke, Regina lay on her bed, waking up suddenly to a tight feeling in her chest… an odd feeling.

Unbeknownst to Regina, she got the exact same feeling Emma had gotten at the exact same time.

Something wasn't right.


	7. Chapter 7

**He'd refused to help Regina over himself…**

In time, Rumple would help the oh so desperate "Evil" Queen to find her beloved Savior, but now was not that time.

Ever since his memories had returned, somewhere in his darkened chest he could still feel Belle, but that was impossible. Regina made sure of that. He would surely leave Regina's needs last…

Right now, he needed to help himself, he need not worry over the Savior, the prophecy was sure to come either way, fate had its way. Besides, he always came first, Rumpelstiltskin always came first. He was going to get back his son… Belle was no longer at reach, she was dead. The Evil Queen had taken her away from him; fate always had its way…

He manipulated Regina to become dark, and cast this wretched curse, and in return fate took away his beloved… There was no time to fiddle with locations spells for Regina, he needed his own for Bae… Because once this curse broke, he will have what he needs… He will have the tools to find Bae, he will have his son, his son in whom he endured this whole ordeal for in the first place. And either way, Regina's plans of location spells were hopeless… She would get nowhere without this curse breaking first. They needed the savior for that… and the savior was nowhere in sight, nor was she ready.

He had made the choice a while back; he would not share this information with his alumni. He would let Regina suffer, satisfying his loss of Belle in the process.

"Suffer you will dearie…" His chest tingled with satisfaction.

**(The Mansion)**

Regina had sent Graham outside the town line months ago, he'd yet to return. She feared the worse… he has not found her, he cannot re-enter Storybrooke, or he was indefinitely lost in that endless town they called Maine. What if Emma was further than that? What if Emma was… She is abruptly reminded of the odd sensation she felt months ago… It had been 3 months after Emma's 14th Birthday, she'd missed it… She clutched her chest through her blouse; she hoped not to miss more.

The odd sensation…

She felt dread every day since Emma left… but this feeling was different. It was as if she could feel something coming, yet she wasn't sure what that something was. But it wasn't good, and she was going crazy, angry and crazy. It was as if she were still in the enchanted forest creating havoc. She sighed deeply, grabbing a firm hold on her now throbbing head. She could not shake the feeling; she couldn't just stay here and do nothing.

Graham or no Graham, she had no time to find out, she would get out there and look for herself…

She was getting out of this cursed town and searching for her child, she was going to Maine… and anywhere else if she had too. She quickly dialed Ruby's number; Ruby, she was no longer just the wolf girl. She and Granny had been here for Emma's birthday… Mary Margaret had informed them of the event, and they were here by her side, like true companions, like friends... Mary Margaret, that woman….

The whole town knew of Emma's disappearance since the night of the incident, the night Emma ran away. Most people spread rumors that it must have been because the Mayor was nothing but a wicked mother… But Snow, despite the hate she felt, the envy for being her Childs real mother… Snow had been having her own search parties in the town… along with those damn elves, dwarfs, whatever they were. And although she had nothing but gratefulness to whoever could find her… She was going to do this on her own now. Because she would not let that woman find Emma before her.

"Hello." Ruby made herself known on the line.

"Ruby, I need your help." Regina asked full of hope.

"Anything." Ruby answered warmly, unlike Graham answering his commands.

"Meet me in the town line in an hour." Regina quickly hung up the line; she was ready to find Emma and bring her back.

 

* * *

 

 

**(Tate's Residence)**

She had been adopted after only a few days of getting to know them… Apparently the Tate's thought Emma was the one for them since they first saw her.

It'd been one month in this house.

The husband, Noah… he was the most eager. He had already bought Emma a few things she never thought she'd have outside of Storybrooke, things her mother had already gotten her, things she left behind.

He was nice… but still, he was a stranger who gave too much. Her mother always taught her not to accept so much… especially from an eager man. Emma never had a father, she was never curious to have one… She was perfectly content with her mother, so it made no difference what Noah would do… he would never be a father to her, just a nice warm home… a necessity.

Carol, the wife… she was all sparkly eyes and warm hugs… she loved to bake and cook. Carol was a lovely woman; she wished she'd taken in a few of the other kids instead, kids that did not have a mother… She would have been perfect. They would have loved her. She still wasn't sure how she felt about all this… about them. The home was beautiful, the food was great, but still… something was itching at her skin.

She hoped it was just her skin missing her mother's arms…

**Later that night…**

Emma lay awake in the bed the Tate's had gotten her. The bed that was the complete opposite of what she had back in Storybrooke… Her bed in Storybrooke was all blue and white sheets, no need for kiddy stuff… This one, this one was exactly that… a kid's bed. It had designs that only an 8 year old girl would enjoy… flowers and pink. But this was not Emma, ever.

"What am I saying…" Emma sighed to herself. At least she had a bed. Most kids that left the home were in the streets. They'd run away after realizing the parents weren't what they seemed.

Thinking of people not being what they seem. Emma got in trouble today… She still didn't understand why. Noah seemed so nice… He was always so patient and always offering Emma things she might need. One month and she'd yet to get in trouble… but today, today was different.

She'd called him Noah ever since she met him… that was never going to change, that was his name! Carol had just left to work… Emma had finished washing dishes, the least she could do for being fed.

Noah had made his way to Emma, a teddy bear in hand.

"Emma, there's no need to do dishes, that's your mothers job." He hummed contently.

"Umm, I…" Carol was not her mother.

"Cat got your tongue Emma?" Noah asked, his tone growing lower.

"No umm, I just don't feel com…"

"Comfortable?" He finished for her.

"Yeah… I'm sorry Noah." Emma apologized, feeling sad for the couple.

She would never be what they wanted. Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by Noah's angry voice.

"Go to your room Emma!" He practically spits at her face. Her eyes went wide not expecting this reaction at all… not from this kind and giving man?

She quickly ran upstairs and into the cold sheets… and she's been here since.

She hoped Carol would return soon, she suddenly felt anxious over her return.

 

* * *

 

 

She hears her room door creak open… a tall silhouette is all she could see. It was Noah… Was he coming to apologize? She hoped not, it was really weird the way he had spoken to her… She did not like it. She really hoped Carol got home at this moment. The odd feeling came back, and it was really bad… She did not want him here, and that is when she knew… the bad feeling was Noah.

She quickly feigned sleep, anything to avoid him.

"Emma…" he whispered, making his way next to her "sleeping" body. She did not dare blink an eye.

"Emma wake up!" his voice became enraged just like before… She was unable to hold in a shudder that escaped her lips.

"So you are awake..." she could hear his smirk through his voice.

"Open your eyes Emma." He demanded… she refused.

"Open your eyes Emma or it'll be worse." He warned. Her eyes could not help but open and see his now lingering face looking down at her.

"So I'm not your Dad am I?" He asks… his eyes somewhere else.

Emma's grabs her sheets, pulling them up towards her chin, hiding her body like a shield. Was this what her mother felt? This fear? Did Sydney cause this horrid feeling… did she cause this horrid feeling?

"Answer me girl!" he rips the sheets right off her now shivering body.

"Well since I am not your father…." He smiled almost gleefully.

"I can do this…" He quickly pulls up the gown he had bought her as sleeping wear; successfully uncovering her bottom area… The area she swore would only be seen by herself or her mother, her queen. The odd feeling was not going to go away… she understood that now. She did not know what to do… she had no magic here.

"Now, let's see if you call me daddy now…" He rips his belt off ready to unbutton his jeans.

"MOTHER!" Emma screams into the dark room, hoping that somehow Regina would come.

 

 

Author's Note: A short promo for this story. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Her mother wasn't coming…**

Her mother did not know where Emma was, how could she? Emma had heartbreakingly ran away from her queen and wandered into this frightening man's home. This home she no longer wanted to be in…

She forced her eyes closed, hearing the zipper of his pants go down.

Her heart longed for her mother's stern voice to frighten this man away, like so many countless times in Storybrooke, her mother wouldn't let anyone near her… but now, now she was here, here with no magic. She willed her body to disappear from this room, but all she could feel was the hollow air hit her legs. She had no magic, she had no control.

How was she supposed to be strong, how was she supposed to grow up and protect her mother?

When she could not even help herself…

How was she going to become anything worth her mother's lost time? She couldn't get away, she couldn't protect herself…

Noah was going to… what Sydney did to... to her queen.

That's when she felt it… the anger rise from her chest, the lost memory returning. Sydney touching and hurting her mother… Her eyes suddenly become dark and narrowed. She was going to grow to be that knight she was that night… her mother's knight. She would protect herself and grow to protect her queen. And she would not return to Storybrooke until she became everything she vowed to be.

Before Noah could even begin to pull his pants down, Emma launched her body forward pushing him away, his body landing hard on the ground.

"Emma!" He yells, his sweet lying voice quickly returning.

She grabs the nearest object, a lamp. She clutches tight and swings it towards him. She than jumps over his damaged face, running out of the room in the process.

"Emma!" He yells in pain.

Emma's feet never stop; she was getting out of here.

As soon as her feet make it through the front door, she is halted on the pavement outside.

Carol was there… standing in front of her, eyes wide and full of fear.

"Emma?" Carol quickly takes a hold of Emma's shoulders, eyes full of concern.

"What's going on sweetie? Why is Noah yelling?!" She asks softly, looking for answers.

"He… he… he tried to touch me… he… he pulled down his pants down and wouldn't stop yelling." Emma practically screams, saying these words as quickly as possible, scared that he'd come out before she could finish. Carol's hands suddenly let go of Emma, silence taking over her face.

"Carol?" Emma whispers, tears on her face.

She has no time to receive an answer, she hears him coming… his quick heavy footsteps running down the stairs.

"Carol, please help me… he's coming!" Emma yells.

Carol was lost… her eyes closed, her chest breathing hard. Emma was not waiting any longer; Carol would never choose her over her husabnd…

Carol was just standing there doing nothing!

She did not want to leave her standing there, but Emma's feet made the decision for her.

She ran… she would run wherever they took her, she would find a way to be okay, she would find a way to escape this town and go on to the next… she wasn't going back to that family, she wasn't going back to the foster care system… Emma ran… she'd run until her legs couldn't take it.

**(Storybrooke)**

Regina stood in front of the intimidating red line, her eyes practically daring it to disappear. She was getting her child back, and they were coming back home… no one, not even her curse would stop her.

She would find Emma, this was her undeniable wish… she was not letting fate take her away.

"We've done what you asked for child…" Granny spoke behind Regina, arm gently pressed on her shoulder.

"We passed on the information to the town, you are going on a long trip to find Emma, and we will build the light by the time you come back." Ruby promises.

They spoke of the plan Regina had, she asked them to convince the dwarfs to help her and Granny build a light and push it outside of the line… place it as a type of lighthouse for her and Emma to find their way back.

"We don't understand one thing though?" Ruby asks.

"Yes Ruby?" Regina asks, already in front of her Mercedes car door.

"Why must we push the light outside the line? Why can't we just build it out there?" Ruby asked lost.

Regina lets out a heavy sigh. No one knew they were cursed… and as soon as anyone made their way outside that line Storybrooke would cease to exist, and they would possibly become lost forever.

"Ruby, please just…" Regina couldn't finish her sentence, something hit her, something hit her harshly.

"Regina?" Ruby makes her way quickly towards the scared faced mayor.

"Something's wrong with Emma, I could feel it…" Regina faces Ruby's face in despair.

"I have to go! Take care of my town… I trust you both." Regina waited no longer for a response. She hurriedly made her way into her car, pushed the gas, tires burning concrete and drifted off past the line and towards Emma… wherever she was. 

 

* * *

 

 

**28 hours of searching…**

Regina had gotten no sleep; the pain in her chest denied it. She searched for hours asking every police station she found… she had gone through six. Each one giving her no hope, until now. She had a lead.

A sheriff had found a girl named Emma wandering alone with nothing but a backpack; he gave Regina the information to the foster home he had taken her too. He offered taking her there, obviously wanting to make sure she was indeed the Childs mother; Regina knew they looked nothing alike.

So she refused, feeling insulted instead. But he wouldn't take no for an answer and insisted she follow him there, it was a 2 hour drive after all. She admired his good work ethic; at least this man did his job right, she could trust a Sherriff like this… to protect her daughter, Graham was no longer an option.

 

* * *

 

 

They were here… Hopkins Minnesota, the foster home, a home her child could have still been in if she hadn't taken her in, a parentless life… A life that Regina knew would have been her fault, a life she condemned her beloved child too. But she vowed to make it up to her, ever since she found out the truth, Emma was that child she cursed at just a day old, the child she loved unconditionally since she laid eyes on her… she was finding Emma, she wasn't letting her go back to this life. She belonged to Regina now... Emma was everything.

"We are here Mam…"

The sheriff was now at her window, bringing back her anticipation.

"Yes, thank you Sherriff… now, let's go get _my_ daughter." She smiled that smile, the one they all feared.

She could take her own heart out, it felt as though it was ripping out of her chest, just a few more seconds and she would have Emma back. She would have her child… Regina suddenly looks down, her palms sweating… she was nervous. What would she tell Emma? Could they ignore what had happened? Start new? It did not matter to Regina, what Emma felt and did… she was still her child and Emma had her heart, surely fate could never destroy that.

"Is Emma here?!" Regina was quickly ripped away from her thoughts and concerns, a lady with red long hair screaming a name all too familiar to her, her daughter's name.

"Pleaseee, is she here?" Regina slowly made her way to the information desk, fearfully approaching the woman.

"Mrs. Tate?" Ingrid, the woman who asked her to wait a few minutes came rushing out.

"My husband… he… he hurt Emma and…" Ingrid's eyes grew wide, quickly looking towards Regina; she was already by Carol's side worry evident on her face.

"Mrs. Tate... please slow down, explain to me what is going on... Where is Emma?!" Ingrid could not help but yell the last question to the headless chicken of a woman in front of her.

"SILENCE!" Regina suddenly shut the room up with her queen like voice.

"Is this… is this Emma… is this _my_ Emma we are speaking of?" Regina looked at both women, voice full of dread… anger approaching.

"Your Emma?" Carol's eyes go wide with surprise.

"My daughter you imbecile." Regina whispered, her face now inches away from Carol's.

"Oh dear God…" the women falls to the floor, covering her face in shame.

Ingrid approaches Regina grabbing her shoulder… But Regina was not having it. She shoves the hand off accusingly…

"You... you gave my child to this woman?!" Regina practically roars.

"Ms. Mills, I promise you, we did not know, Emma swore to not having a family… she said she was all alone." Regina's heart broke.

Was Emma that hurt? So much in pain that she no longer felt she had a mother? Was Emma's un-denying love… her feelings of romance… had it pushed all feelings of her being her mother away?

No. She was not accepting this.

Regina's eyes narrowed down to the woman on the floor.

"Tell me where my daughter is!" Regina yelled her demand.

"I, I made the report today… my husband… he tried to rape her and… and Emma ran away… I cannot find her anywhere!" Carol broke down once again.

Regina and Ingrid's eyes both go wide.

Regina could not control what was coming… the heat in her body… the anger…

She bent down and roughly grabbed the woman by her shirt forcefully pulling her up onto her feet.

This woman was lucky; Regina had no magic to rip out this woman's heart!

"Tell me you worthless peasant, when did this happen?" Regina needed to know where Emma had gone; she needed to find her now quicker than ever. Her child needed her…

"A day ago…" the women fearfully answered.

"A what?" Regina glared incredulously.

"You… you waited a whole day to find my child? to imprison that man?!" Regina practically spat.

"I… he was my husband.. I was blind.. I should have known when he begged for us to get an older child…" She began to break down once more.

Regina was not having this… this was her daughter! This woman had no right to cry!

"You are lucky I cannot kill in this land… or so help me, your husband would be dead right now… and so would you."

Regina venomously replied.

"Now tell me, where did you last see her?!" Regina needed to find her; nothing was getting in her way. That man… that filth would pay in the future, right now all she needed was to find her daughter.

**(2 days later)**

**She would not think of that night ever again… she was safe now, safer than in that house.**

Emma had stolen once again… she could not sell her mother's jewels, it was too risky, a child selling such valuable things, it did not work before, and she was sure It would not work again.

She stole a man's train ticket...

She needed to get on that train.

And indeed she stole and she got… 

New York, she made it. She had read about this place in Storybrooke, Mary Margaret had given her a key to the Library… she found and read many books on other towns and states… this was one of them.

She pulled out the map she retrieved from her earlier victim; he was practically blind to her quick thieving hands. She hated it, but it was necessary.

"What should I do now…" Emma whispered, her stomach rumbling right on cue. She gripped her stomach hard, how she wished to have her mother's pancakes…

She found the nearest convenience store, she needed something to eat… she'd have to steal, and she had to get used to it… what other way was there?

As soon as she stepped in she was knocked over by a running girl… a girl with long black hair.

"Hey you, stop right there…" the store's clerk ran towards them.

Emma saw fear in her eyes… she was sure this girl was stealing, what if she needed this as much as she did? She grabbed the girls hand quickly and began to run…

"Common let's get out of here!" Emma yelled, instantly receiving a hand squeeze in return.

The girl followed suit, no hesitation evident. 

As soon as they found an alley to hide in the girl turned around and smiled out of breath.

"Thank you for that… umm?" The girl squinted, her brown eyes shining.

"Emma." Emma breathlessly answered.

"And you are?" She asked curiously.

The girl smiled mischievously and answered.

"My name is Lily."


	9. Chapter 9

**She never had a friend like Lily…**

She never really had a friend. It was always her and her mother, and off course the occasional Ruby, Granny and Mary Margaret, but that was it really. Regina tried to get her to join after school programs and she welcomed any sleepovers, but Emma was just never very fond of them.

She was fond of something else… someone else.

"Sigh." Emma's stress escaped her lips.

"What's wrong Emma?" Lily asks with worry, already attached to Emma.

It had been 4 weeks, just her and Lily in the streets, and now this abandoned house. She never wanted a friend that wasn't her mother… but she was starting to rethink it now, it felt nice…. Especially now that her mother and her were so far apart. She wished she could go back, but all of it would have been for nothing. Besides there was no way of getting back now.

"Emma?" Lily pokes Emma with a smile full of encouragement; they sat on the soft warm couch curled into each other, Emma's thoughts interrupting the movie they had been watching.

She couldn't help but think, her thoughts were always messing things up…

"Nothing… I… I was just thinking." Emma responds, trying not to bring up her story.

"About what?" Lily pushes, her mischievous smile opening her locked door. Emma's lips tighten, she couldn't tell Lily the truth, it was… she felt ashamed, everything that happened began to slowly change how proudly she felt about her feelings, her mother made her feel ashamed…

"I… I can't Lily..." Emma subconsciously lays her head on the only shoulder she currently trusted.

She could trust Lily… they helped each other survive so far.

But she could not trust anyone with her mother!

"Emma, you can trust me…" Lily gently grabs Emma's hand in hers. Emma's head shoots up, she eyes their hands now entwined, she felt warmth. A feeling she thought she could only feel with…

"Sigh." Lily lets out her own sigh, taking in Emma's silence as a no.

"Okay look, I'll tell you a secret and you tell me one?" Lily raises her eyebrows up and down, almost comically.

"Really?!" Emma responds, not believing that this person could trust her with a secret. Emma never felt this special before. Only with… but then it hits her, just like everything else had hit her these past couple of months… Regina never trusted her with her story, her past?

Regina… when did Emma start calling her that? Mom, mom, mom… Emma repeated in her head quickly, pushing away all negative thoughts she could possibly create about her mother... distance was a shrivel thing.

"Off course Emma, I trust you." Lily assured.

 

* * *

 

 

Lily told her story, the story of not having parents… she was an orphan like all those kids, and she was alone for so long, her heart felt for Lily. She herself would never know what that was like… not having parents.

"Lily, I'm so sorry..." Emma's hand tightens her hold on Lily's… moving her thumb gently, rubbing soothing circles.

"It's you and me now Lily… we'll protect each other." Emma vows. She could be Lily's protector, she could do that. This girl, this person needed that. They could both protect each other. She would grow strong and brave. She could be the knight she longed to be…

"Your secret…" Lily answered in return, her eyes sparkling.

"What was it?" Lily looked curiously at Emma. Emma would open up… Lily did, she would too.

"My mother…" Emma whispered, her head now down.

"Your Mother?" Lily repeats, wondering if she understood Emma's low whisper correctly.

"I… I fell in love with my mother…" Emma murmurs, ready to hear outrage. But Emma heard nothing, she got no response…

She did not know if that was better then what she expected. She looked up at Lily but noticed nothing, she could not read her.

"I mean, that's why I am here now… I… I ran away…. She hates me." Emma looks down now, tears threatening to fall.

"Sooo, you're Gay?" Lily finally speaks. Emma's eyes go wide… out of all the things she just confessed… Lily asked this? Emma's hands unconsciously reach to her mouth, a loud guffaw taking over Emma's sad face.

"What?" Lily asks, no disgust evident in her voice.

"Sooo, are you?" She sneakily asks, and dare Emma say, hopefully asks?

"I don't know Lily!" Emma responds, cheeks red with embarrassment. She hadn't felt this embarrassed since her mother talked to her about her period. How was she supposed to talk to her mother about that, it was so embarrassing, and now this? How was she supposed to answer Lily… What if Lily wasn't like her? What if she hated her?

"Oh common, you fell in love with your mom! She's a woman… can you… can you fall in love with another… girl?" Lily asks, Emma hears something she hadn't from Lily… nerves?

"I… I…" Before Emma could finish, Lily leans in, pressing her soft lips on Emma's.

"Mmmm." Emma's mouth makes an audible moan. Lily was kissing her… it felt, it felt nice.

Emma began to kiss back. This was her first kiss, her first… Emma was gay, she had to be… this felt so… This was her first kiss! Her first…

"Wait!" Emma stops, her hand grabbing her chest. She was saving her first kiss for someone she truly loved… it felt nice, but… but it wasn't… it wasn't Regina. She somehow felt she had betrayed her… she made this decision, this journey for her and… this was not supposed to be part of that.

"Lily... I can't…" Emma looks down, cheeks flushed.

"Why?!" Lily's angered voice asks.

"I… I.. Regina…" Emma whispered.

"Regina?" Lily furrowed her eyes.

"Emma, your mom?" Lily states.

"Yeah…" Emma shamefully stands up, not wanting to hear what was coming.

"That's never going to happen Emma… common." Lily slaps her with her words.

Before Emma can respond, before she can defend herself, the front door is suddenly broken down, a loud thud hitting their ears.

"Freeeze!" A man's voice fills the room. It was the cops, the scary men that unlike sheriffs, did whatever they pleased at whatever time!

"Hands up ladies." Another man came in, his light shinning towards them.

 

* * *

 

 

Lily, Lily was a fraud. Her family had been looking for her, and they had just found her. She'd lied… she did not trust her, this was a mistake.

"Emma wait!" Lily screamed, running out of her father's arms.

"No!" Emma screams, not bothering to turn around. She made her way into the social services van waiting for her. She was not turning back, she could not trust anyone in this city… she was going back to the foster care.

**(Just outside of New York, same time)**

Regina's lips had tingled… she did not understand why. They felt as though they were on fire… her heart aching at the same time.

What was happening? Regina could not comprehend these sudden feelings… it had begun ever since Emma had left.

"Oh no…" Regina lets out her worry. The last time Regina felt this was… was that man, her eyes go dark. Where was she?! She'd been looking for over a month now… and she had lost her trail. What could she possibly do? She could not just wither away… what if Emma had returned? What if Emma went back and saw the light? What if she found her way back? What if she's home? The worry and hopelessness got to strong; Regina was heading back to Storybrooke tonight. She had nothing else she could do… she had called all the foster care systems, all the way to New York and nothing….

Emma was smart; she could find her way back… She quickly made her way to her car and decided. She was heading back home, to their home, Emma would surely be there. She had to be… her hope was fading, but what other options did she have? She'd convince herself that Emma was there… But before she could close the door someone grabbed it.

"My Queen." Her eyes go wide.

"Graham!" her tears could not help but fall, hope had returned.

"I have yet to return because I've yet to accomplish the task." He looked exhausted but sure of himself.

"So you've yet to find her?" Regina looks down, disappointment taking over.

"I will keep looking." He states firmly.

"Head back home Regina… It's safer that way, what if she comes back and you aren't there?"

 He puts a comforting hand on her shoulder. She needed that… "I know…" she lets out a heavy breath. Her eyes narrow, determination making way.

"I will be heading back to Storybrooke, you keep looking Graham, I've placed a light outside the line… you should be able to find your way back… please, if she isn't there… please, keep looking." She no longer feels the need to order him, she was asking.

"It's done my queen." He nods.

"Please don't call me that…" she suddenly could not stand to hear him say that name… Emma called her that.

"My apologies, Regina." He nods again. "Be safe Graham, please… FIND HER!" She could not help but raise her voice, maybe if she said it loud enough, this time it would surely happen. Either way…. It would happen. She gripped her hands tightly around her steering wheel… She would see Emma again.


	10. Chapter 10

**Graham had found her…**

New York City...

3 Years… and Graham had found her, Graham had found Emma, and she was in New York City. New York City! She had been so close, she could have been with her child sooner but she turned the wrong way, she went back to Storybrooke, why was fate such a thin line? Such a thin line she could never see through… She had begun to believe fate was real and on her side long ago… when Emma was placed in her arms, but now, now she just didn't know what to believe.

All Regina knew was, Emma was found and she was going to get her back, her happiness had been found again. Her heart ached ever since she'd driven back, but she had too, she found no point in searching her years away… what if her child returned to an empty home, she would not have it. She wanted Emma to return to her arms, her home.

"Oh Emma…" those words seemed so old now, yet so new. She'd said Emma's name countless times since she had gone… as if the name would somehow summon her, but it never did. Regina could not help but let a tear fall down her pale face. She would not cry. She would not kill herself further.

Graham had found her, and she was not waiting another minute, she was heading to New York to retrieve her child. She missed her so. Regina had her things packed and ready, she'd been waiting over 3 years now… she was not missing another Birthday. She refused.

Emma was seventeen now…

She was seventeen, and all Regina could think was, did Emma long for her as she did? Did Emma feel this undeniable ache that would never go away? Regina knew it would never go away, not unless they were together again… She hoped her daughter really did not feel what that woman Ingrid had said; that she had no parents, no mother….

Regina gripped the duffle bag in her hands, she truly hoped not.

"Ha…" she let out a frustrated laugh; hope was something Regina knew was fairly pointless, at least for her sad story of a life. She shook her head harshly, she was wasting time. She started her car and quickly left the cursed town, not telling a soul, not even Ruby and Granny this time… she had to see her, she had to get her back.

**(New York, Next day)**

"YOU WHAT?!" Emma screamed, not caring if anyone in her apartment complex would hear her. Emma's eyes went wide; she grabbed herself tightly with fear and surprise… all her fears, troubles, and self conscious feelings instantly returned. Graham gently placed his hand on Emma's shoulder, trying to calm her.

"Emma, the Mayor has been looking for you for years… you have no idea what she's been going through…" Graham's voice is gentle and full of truth. What she's been through? Emma's chest tightens…

"How'd you find me Graham?" Emma quickly ejects those feelings, narrowing her eyes at him.

"It's taken me years, but I have these skills Ms. Mills…" He nods seriously, narrowing his eyes at her suddenly.

Emma had a skill… she'd found out in the streets, she could detect a lie… and Graham had truly called her mother. He'd called her Ms. Mills? Emma's heart skips a beat… something it had not done in over 2 years. No one called her by that name anymore. She had begun to forget the feeling… the feeling of just being Regina's daughter, no worries.

She was no one's daughter here, and she convinced herself that she would never be again. She'd been through a lot, getting to where she was now… it took her 2 years to get over the pain, these feelings of disgust and love, and yet it was always there somehow… It took her 2 years to keep her promises and not think of her mother anymore, BARELY. She could not have her mother in mind and accomplish these things she'd vowed… How? If she did she would fail, and she would miss her too much and cowardly run back, wherever back was...

She told herself a long time ago, she wasn't going back… not until she was what she vowed to be. And maybe it wasn't for her mother anymore, but for herself. She could not stand being a weak human being; she could not stand that memory of her mother's scared face, the disgust. She wanted to just be okay and normal… make it up to Regina, show her that she was a knight but also… maybe she just wanted Regina to see her as a normal human being; Someone she did not have to fear or carry like a burden. But when she thought about her mother, all she wanted to be was her burden, her child… her lover.

Emma's eyes narrow again, she always got lost when her mother was involved… and that's why she could not see her. She needed to be strong; she'd been through too much to give up now.

"You know, I've been through a lot too Graham." Emma's voice is distant but assertive.

"The man… Mr. Tate?" Graham asks, already having his suspicions.

Emma's eyes grow wider then they were, her throat making a gulping sound.

"How did you… Who told you?!" Emma yells, her trust issues showing on her sleeve. Graham looks down, not sure if he should say.

"I have a job to do Ms. Mills, you are no child… if telling you is what it takes for you to see what your mother has gone through just to get you back… then so be it." He stares directly towards her distrusting eyes.

"That man… I've killed him, your mother ordered me too, this was one of my tasks." Graham spoke seriously.

Emma's breath was instantly stolen from her lips.

"The Evil Queen…" she whispers.

"The Evil what Emma?" Graham looks at her confusingly.

Emma did not know whether she should cry of happiness… that her mother would do all this just for her or… or betrayal. That book, that book she vowed to read with her mother… it was true. And that growing hole in her chest, that growing hole of doubt had just gotten bigger. She could trust no one, and this… this proved to her that her mother had lied as well… could she not trust her as well?! Why hadn't her mother told her about the book?

"This is why I cannot see my mother!" Emma frustratingly yells.

"I'm too… I'm too confused Graham… I just need to grow up and figure myself out, so please… call her back and tell her I've run off again!" Emma yells, tears streaming down her face.

"Why are you doing this Emma?" He asks. He didn't know… off course.

Emma wipes her tears away furiously…

"If you won't do it, I have no choice but to leave immediately… we cannot be together right now." Emma looks down.

"Emma, I've called her way before I've even spoken to you… she should be here in an hour or 2." Graham had to be lying, he just wanted to keep her here as long as he could.

"You're lying; you just found me now and told me you just called her." Emma stated, voice monotone… but she already knew he was not.

"I'm sorry Emma but, I found you yesterday… and I informed her last night." He almost sounded sorry.

"Last night?!" Emma looks around frantically. "It's 11 in the morning, she could… She could be here now… I have to, I have to go." Emma quickly runs into her apartment and slams the door.

"She can't get away that quick." Graham whispers to no one. ….

"Whoa there, what's with the slamming?" Emma almost forgets she wasn't alone.

"Neal…" Her eyes begin to water.

"Hey what's wrong Emma?" He quickly makes his way next to his roommate, his companion.

Neal was a friend, he had helped her out; she was practically starving and he… he stole for her. Eventually she got a job of her own and that was enough for them to get this place.

"My mom…" she whispered… he didn't know.

She could never really trust anyone after Lily, not entirely.

"Your mom? Emma I thought you were an orphan…" He looked hurt but still attentive, he knew she was about to hyperventilate.

"Neal just shhh, please… we have to get out of here before she..." She could not finish that sentence. She could hear their apartment's door being frantically knocked on… and that's when she heard her voice.

"Emma?" It was that voice…. that enchanting voice.

"Mother…" Emma whispered behind the locked door.

 

* * *

 

 

**(New York, Regina has just arrived)**

Graham was there; standing outside an old rustic building… was this where her daughter had been staying? Her heart dreaded the answer… none of that mattered, she'd give Emma everything… everything, she just needed to see her.

"Mayor Mills, she's upstairs." He bowed and quickly led her up to Emma's door, he knew she did not like to waste time.

"In there Regina, is Emma." He proudly informed her, pointing at the door. She had no time to thank him; she frantically began to knock.

"Emma." she impatiently called out her name, she needed to see her…

"Emma please…." She almost let out a cry. But no one was responding… her heart was breaking as if Emma had just run away. Before she could knock again the door sprung open and…

"Who, who… and who the hell are you?!" Regina practically yells. A tall young man stood there mouth open in fear? This man's eyes were practically out of his sockets, was it her looks? Was it fear? Regina did not know, nor did she care… she needed her daughter and this man was in the way.

"Answer me…" Regina's voice quivered, her tears were spilling over the anxiousness.

"I'm…"before he could finish someone pushed past him and stood same height as hers and firmly in front of him. Those golden locks… those eyes… 

 

* * *

"Mother!" Emma could not help herself, as soon as she heard that woman's voice quiver and crack, her body took control and made herself push past Neal and directly in front of… in front of…

"Mother…." She let out her name accompanied by a much needed breath… her mother. She hadn't aged one bit… and, and she looked just the same… so perfect.

"Emma!" Regina responded quickly and no questions asked; she lunged forwards and wrapped her arms tightly around her daughters form.

"Emma…" she whispered again, sending familiar chills down Emma's muscles. Yes muscles… she had those now. She had to develop something from all the running and fighting. Muscles… she could feel her arms subconsciously squeeze her mother's waist against her. She was no longer small and reached perfectly around her mother's waist, they were the same height now. This made Emma smile… so close she thought.

"I'm just going to step out… you two should come in and..."

"Please…" Regina turned around to face him, eyes gentler then her previous expression. He said nothing and nodded towards an already nodding Emma. He quickly made his way out and away.

Emma faced her mother once again; as if it was just yesterday she would stop and just stare at her… because she just could.

"Mother…" Emma looked down, realization hitting her… those days were gone.

"Please, come in." Emma politely asked.

 

* * *

 

 

Regina's hands begin to sweat like before… this is what she feared. That her daughter no longer needed her, wanted her… she wished the words that came out of Emma's mouth were quite the opposite… something on the line's of "Let's go home." But that was not the case so far… She took a step forward following Emma close behind and into her single apartment.

She could not help but look her daughter up and down… Emma had grown. She was no longer this small child… she was Regina's height now and she had these arms she never imagined her little knight would have. It pained her to not get to see her grow… she'd missed it.

"Take a seat Regina…" Emma gently asked. Regina? Why was Emma calling her this?!

She looked away from Emma's possible gaze, turning to only find more pain… a single bed.

Did this man live with her daughter?! Was Emma with this man?! Regina did not know what to feel in that moment…

 

* * *

 

 

Emma began to shuffle all around the room, looking for something, ignoring her mother's possible pained face… she'd called her Regina because… because she needed to snap out of this enchantment quick… Or else Emma would fail.

"There it is." Emma spoke out loud, making her mother ask.

"There is what?"

Regina's low voice making Emma shiver like when she was a child. Emma confidently walked towards Regina, ignoring all her insecurities and not showing her mother any of it. "This…" Emma placed the large antique book in front of her mother, on the coffee table.

"What's this Emma?" Regina was scared to even ask. All she wanted was to talk to her daughter and hear her sweet words once again, like before.

"You tell me…" Emma opened the page to an image of Regina as the Evil Queen.

"Your majesty." Emma firmly stated, she needed to know, then maybe… maybe she'd find some kind of hate and let go of her easier… AT LEAST UNTIL SHE WAS READY. Regina's eyes grow wide with horror, making Emma's chest hurt. But Emma knew… no matter what; she'd always love this woman.

 

* * *

 

 

**Her child knew…**

Emma knew of a past, a past that she wanted to hide from not only Emma but herself. Emma knew a truth, a truth Regina intended to hide till her own demise. A truth that she indeed was evil… she was a murderer, a villain, a selfish being; she was the evil queen.

But the worst… the worst of all her harmful doings was what she did to Emma… It was sending Emma to an unknown land to die; making Emma an orphan, almost ripping away her happiness she hoped she had remade for her. She regretted nothing, everything she did gave her Emma… but still… what if she had not found her as an infant, that beautiful baby girl she held in her arms, that baby girl that she would give the world too, that beautiful girl that had grown up so much since then… that beautiful little girl she would give everything too… She could not lose Emma again, and her truth would surely make that inevitable. The pain crept into her chest…

"Regina..." Emma's 17 year old voice rang in her now heated ears, reminding her that she needed to respond, give Emma an answer.

"Emma..." Her name was all she could say.

Regina remains silent, not knowing how to say such a horrid truth, this was a truth, and a truth she felt needed to remain silent.

All she wanted was Emma to come back home with her... how was she suppose to accomplish that? If Emma knew... she'd...

How could she tell Emma all these things she's done, and Mary Margaret...

She was not telling Emma that Mary Margaret was her mother!

She was Emma's mother... She was Emma's happy ending.

Emma's happy ending...

Was she still Emma's happy ending? She no longer knew these answers; Emma couldn't even call her mother. Why would she risk all she'd made for Emma? Why would she build a bigger hole for herself?

"Are you not going to tell me mother..." Regina suddenly looked up to Emma's eyes... she could see the pain, the pain she also felt.

Where did this BOOK EVEN COME FROM?! No this was a lie... this was a fictitious joke, and that is what she would tell Emma. What did this book even have in it? What did it say?

"Emma... who gave you this?" Regina needed to know.

"That doesn't matter." Emma looked away, answer complete.

"What's in this book? What do you mean evil queen?" The lie was already coming out, Regina could not stop herself.

"Are you really asking this?" Emma looked pained, eyes wide.

"Emma, I can assure you my love... I do not know what you are asking of me." Regina looked directly at her child's older like eyes; she was still a teen... Regina could do this... she could bring Emma back.

"I've not read a thing mother... I stopped myself because... because I TRUST YOU!" Emma's voice yelled broken.

Regina could feel her hands tighten around her skirt... she could not lose Emma again. She would not let it happen, even if it broke her darkened heart...

Even if this broke the enchantment Emma was in… that enchantment she'd repeatedly read about over the past 3 years… not understanding how this beautiful child could fall in this spell… this spell of loving her more then she should…. this spell that had certainly broken with time, if not now, soon after this…

She regretted nothing, everything she did gave her Emma… but right now she had to find a way to bring Emma home… a regret she would deal with later.

She'd lie… Something she knew her daughter did not deserve, something that would potentially hurt Emma… but bring her back… certainly.

 

* * *

Her mother was nothing but silence… a face full of bland expressions, once in a while shaking her head at nothing… not even bothering to look at her. Not even bothering to look up at Emma's eyes, something she did so freely as she grew up… give her those words she so desperately needed to come back up from her falls…

"Did you hear me mother? I TRUST YOU!" Emma tried once more; it pained her that she even needed to say those words more than once.

Nothing… this beautiful woman she knew as her mother remained silent… her face screaming with no emotions.

Did she not remember what she meant to her? The reason why she left… what she truly meant to her.

The silent instantly rips through Emma's Pandora boxed heart, it daring her to say what she confessed not so long ago...

"Because... because I love you." She whispered the words her mother already knew, the words she had become so ashamed of.

Her mother's eyes finally look up from her trance and straight into Emma's, she was a deer caught in the headlights… almost identical to the night she last saw her… less fear.

Emma smiled sarcastically to herself… that was one good thing.

"Emma…" It seemed that was all her mother could say since their reunion.

"Regina…" she cannot help but close herself once again.

"Emma… that…" her mother's voice was fading.

"That what?" Emma looked directly at her mother's blinking eyes, what was she holding in those dark eyes of hers?

SLAM!

"That is enough Emma!" Her mother slammed the book down at the table.

"This… all of this nonsense of an evil queen… that is all it is NONSENSE!" her mother's hushed voice quickly escalates in volume, the low assertiveness making its way.

She ignored her confession… nothing had changed had it? Emma could not help but think these things as her mother frantically spoke of lies… yes… lies… her mother did not know of her powers… that SHE COULD DETECT A LIE… AND RIGHT NOW… THAT'S ALL HER MOTHER WAS DOING!

This is why… this is why Emma was not ready. She could barely trust Neal… barely trust anyone… her mother was always an exception. But right now… right now that spell had been broken.

"Mom…" Emma quickly stood up, offering a shaking but strong hand on her mother's shoulder.

"Look… it's ok… you don't need to freak out okay, I understand." Emma's face showed calm, deceiving what she truly felt... pain.

"Can we just… look can we just…" Emma's hands began to sweat; they always did when she was nervous. She was not going to get this chance again… at least not for a longer time.

"Can we just lay on my bed and… can it be like before?" Emma looked down, hoping her mother missed her enough to say yes.

She could not do this… She could not stand here and listen the only true thing in her life lie… she would not stand here and hear her mother avoid her scrawny little kids feelings and lie as if she were still 10! Right now… this was all she needed.

 

* * *

 

 

"Oh Emma…" Regina could not help but feel her heart instantly recover; this was something she needed since… since…

"Emma, you have no idea…" Regina looked down, revealing a smile she thought she'd never show again.

"Do you remember I promised you a sleepover? Right before… before you… before I…" Regina looked up, trying to recover her mistake.

"Yes." Emma cut her off, saving her in the process.

"Can we just… can we just pick up where we left off Emma?" She needed this as much as Emma… she was certain. She needed to feel her in her arms once again.

Emma grabbed her hand gently, pulling her softly towards the white sheeted bed… just like her bed at the mansion used to be, she could never use those sheets after Emma disappeared… it pained her so.

But this, this was all she needed, the white sheets wrapping her and her daughter in a safe embrace. Regina placed her head on the soft pillows; taking in the scent she'd missed so much… the scent of her girl, the scent of her innocent little girl…

Emma laid her head quickly into her chest… nerves apparent.

"It's ok, Emma." Regina whispered.

"Mother…" Emma whispered as she placed her strong arms and wrapped them around Regina's waist… just like then, when she needed her.

"Let's go home my darling…" Regina whispered as she felt Emma's breath hitch and slowly succumb to sleep.

And she soon followed not being able to help the euphoric yet peaceful feeling.

 

* * *

 

 

"Goodbye Mother." Emma whispered into the now darkened apartment. She stood in front of her pale skinned sleeping mother, the queen…. her queen. She knew as soon as she'd asked, she was leaving again. She just needed… she just needed to feel her one last time… not like before.

She needed to have something to hold on to before she saw her again… something that would keep Emma going till the next time they'd find each other.

"Emma." Neal peeked his head in through the door and into the apartment.

She'd told him she'd be out in a few, it had been thirty minutes that she'd just stared… not ready to say goodbye.

It was time… her and Neal were disappearing from this place, looking for something new. He didn't ask questions, he was a real friend.

She got all she could, her backpack and money… the money she'd gotten with her mother's jewelry… She squeezed the book she held in her hand. This was just like then…

"Goodbye my queen…" she slowly leaned in just like before.

"I love you…" she whimpered, her lips not daring to kiss her lips in front of Neal's waiting eyes.

But as soon as her lips touch her mother's waiting cheek, a hand grabbed her wrist.

"Just like before…" Emma could not t help but whisper this to her now awake and frightened mother.

"Emma... NO!" Regina was instantly panicking, her grip getting tighter.

"I'm sorry mother, I must…" Emma pushed with all her might, no magic to help.

"Neal, help please!" Emma screams to his direction.

He quickly ran inside, pulling an anxious Emma and a now crying Regina.

"Emma PLEASE!" Regina whaled, Emma's arm suddenly ripping out of her grasp.

Neal and her fall to the ground, the force of the pull sending them flying… the book was quickly released from Emma's hold. She regretfully looks at it and quickly stands… she was leaving it behind.

"Common Neal, let's get out of here!" Emma and Neal quickly made their way.

But her mother did not let her get away as easily as the last time… Emma quickly felt an arm grasp the tip of her shoulder… but not succeeding to get a hold. She hears a hard thud, her mother was on the floor, failing to grab her and crawling her way towards her in tears…

"Emma, why are you doing this?!"

Emma's tears were now streaming… she could not handle seeing her mother like this.

"I'm in love mother… with Neal! and you... You are getting in the way of that, you are getting in the way of my happiness." she'd lied back.

Regina's tears are instantly halted… her eyes unreadable.

She needed to say anything, anything to make this easier… anything to make this easier for them both. At least her mother would not have to worry about one thing any longer… her disgusting feelings that would undoubtedly never change.

She had to go now… her mother's silence would soon come to an end. She did not wish to leave her on the ground but knew there was no good way to end this.

"I… I'm sorry Mother…" Emma quickly turned away, her feet quickly pushed her out of the room and made her disappear from her mother's sight.

The last thing Emma could hear was a loud scream, her mother calling for Graham… she wouldn't find him. Neal took care of him.

And that was it… Emma and Neal were out of there, her heart already broken but her mind more eager than ever.

She'd keep growing. She would grow just like she'd vowed… she'd grow and show Regina there was no need for lies… that she was indeed a knight, and an adult, and maybe then, just maybe she would...

Even then… she would be strong enough to deal.


	11. Chapter 11

**She was gone…**

One minute her heart was complete, the next it was shattered as if she had never found her… as if she'd never held her. Her child had vanished once again, just when she thought she had beaten fate, it ripped Emma away begrudgingly… and that boy, Neal…

She confusedly looked around the room that was Emma's. She'd been here several days waiting, waiting for a sign of Emma yet again, just maybe… just maybe she'd return, iIf not today, tomorrow…. just maybe.

Graham, Graham had left the night Emma disappeared, searching for her anew. She had found him outside the hall collapsed on the filthy floor, that boy… that boy had attacked him, hit him with a bat. Who was this boy? And why had Emma… why had she gone with him? Why had she chosen him? She couldn't help but shake her head, shaking off the thoughts she'd never let herself think.

Emma would never choose anyone over her…

This boy… this man must have manipulated her daughter, it must be. She could not help but tighten her fingers around the cursive book that caused this whole mess.

"Em…" she stopped herself.

She couldn't bear to say her daughter's name out loud. Three years, three years and counting… she had said that name over and over like a prayer, yet… yet she had gotten nothing. It pained her too much. She vowed the moment Emma did not turn back… she vowed she would never say that name again, not until Emma came back to her.

"Come back to me." She whispered to the ghost in this room. To her child's undeniable ghost… she'd been there for so long that her scent was still on the walls… she swore it. She could still smell her… Her eyes began to water; she still wondered where it all came from.

Graham had went on searching while Regina stayed in Emma's single apartment… she'd been here five days, five days of walking around this lonely room, laying on Emma's sheets, and hoping that she'd come back to her. Graham should have been back by now, he said he'd go as far as 3 days would take him and he'd come back. He'd be staying here… this would be his new home, he'd wait as long as his life gave him… he'd search for Emma… he'd wait for her.

She'd wait for her… but right now, right now… She could not stand being here any longer….

Disappointment came with every morning, sadness came with every day. She could not stand waiting any longer in this room. Her child was here all along, in this tight confined little room with this man she knew nothing of… this man whose belongings she'd snarl at just the sight of. This man who was nothing but violent in her eyes… this man who…

_CRASH!_

She let the anger slip through, throwing her untouched glass of water crashing to the wall. She did not know who this man was… and it was killing her more every day that Emma had not returned.

"I'm in love mother… with Neal!" The memory replayed, just like it had since she heard it… she kept hearing it… like a repetitive spell, those words kept echoing in her head. She closed her eyes trying to forget… trying to forget that her happy ending no longer needed her. Something that Regina would never be able to feel… She needed Emma, and since she first held her, she knew Emma would always need her too… but this doubt, this doubt came rushing in as soon as she heard those words.

"You are getting in the way of that, you are getting in the way of my happiness." Those words… Regina was supposed to be her happy ending, but now, now…

_Knock, Knock!_

Regina's eyes went wide; maybe just maybe she still was…

"Emma, my love!" Regina practically screamed, running towards the door. She quickly turned the knob revealing Graham, nothing but Graham.

"You didn't find her." She looked down, already knowing the answer.

"No word Regina, but as you've requested I have returned after three days of searching and I am ready to dedicate however long and stay here till Emma returns, till I find her." He bowed down, gently looking up for assurance.

"Graham… if anyone can do this, it's you." His eyes go wide. He had never heard the mayor speak in such a way, at least not to anyone but Emma. He had done well… a desire he did not know why he always looked for, he loved to succeed in a task, it was almost like hunting. But his task was yet to be done. His heart felt warmth, he knew Regina… it was not easy for her to talk like this to someone… he knew she needed him, and although he was certain they weren't friends, he saw this woman go through years of pain… It was time she smiled again. One day this woman would see… he indeed cared, he indeed was a friend.

"I will find her Regina." She looked up, hope in him once again. 

 

* * *

 

 

After a quick goodbye and a long drive, she was back in Storybrooke. She had taken the book and some of Emma's belongings, things to keep her close. She made her way down to her vault. She would begin to read the book… she would begin to read the criminal records this curse of a book surely had on her.

She'd read what this book had to say about her… nothing she had not heard before surely. She would read this book and continue to wait… She let out a tired sigh, she was thankful this curse was not yet broken, her age would stay still, and she'd be ready… ready to be with Emma. She hoped time would be kind and bring her back soon… time was all she had, because fate was practically nonexistent now… it proved itself wrong.

She'd wait… she'd wait hopelessly. And no matter how old, no matter how old Emma would be, Regina's arms would be waiting to have Emma inside of them once again. Her dead heart almost felt alive at just the thought of it.

"Em…" She shook her head.

"No, not until I see you again."

 

**(Neal and Emma)**

"She's what?!" Neal screamed towards the closed door of Emma's new room. 

"How many times do I have too? She's an Evil Queen from an enchanted forest, she's my mother and… I am in love with her OKAY!" Emma screamed from the other side, door locked shielding herself from her friend's possible gaze and horror.

"You're what?!" Neal's eyes bulged out of his head, shaking his head comically.

"Emma!" He knocked on the door.

"Let me in please." He begged, voice evidently concerned more then judgmental.

"I can't Neal… I can't trust anyone any longer, you are just going to run away and say my mother would never… and that I am just a crazy for even mentioning magic." Emma states, her voice now closer to the door. "Emma you can trust me, I promise… look I need to tell you something." The door slowly opened revealing a worried but curious Emma.

"What?" She whispered, tears on her face.

"I will tell you my truth…"

"Your truth?" Emma's eyes narrowed in confusion.

"Neal what the hell, you're lying to me?!" Emma pushed him softly, her heart not knowing if it could handle another lie.

"No, not lying Emma… same thing you did, scared to tell a fact." He grinned, obviously not taken back by Emma's truth.

"Neal what is it? Are you in love with your dad?" Emma's eyes went wide, hoping that this was the reason why he wasn't reacting like she thought he would.

"Quite the opposite Emma…and you can call me Baelfire."

 

* * *

 

 

**It was her and Neal now…**

And it had been for some time.

But now was different, he knew her truth and she his, something she never thought she would have with someone, at least not after the journey she had been on.

They had stolen a car that night **…** the night they escaped, the night she left Regina once again. Regina, the one person she wanted all truths from, the one person she wanted anything from… but that night wasn't the time.

That night she just needed to run like before, and she needed to run fast.

They needed something to run, and a car was that option, so Neal and she did the only thing that would save them, save them? Save herself.

She wasn't ready that night; neither of them were.

Not her, not Regina.

REGINA…

She couldn't seem to call her mother, even her thoughts said her name, but the word mother had been fading ever since she'd created that space between them, ever since time slowly took that title away… ever since Regina had lied to her.

She was her mother none the less; she would always be that… they shared that blood, and all she could remember was Regina's arms, taking care of her. She was undeniably her mother, but time did not need DNA to rip this label away.

Love did not need DNA to rip away that label, to cross those uncrossed thoughts and lines.

She was Regina Mills, the women she had always loved… motherly and more, she was the woman she would always love.

Her lies did not matter… she'd grow and still urge to know the truth, and she would be there to listen and she'd be ready, it was just to painful and unfortunate that she was not ready now, or else she'd drive this old banged up yellow bug they stole back to the apartment, the apartment that was only just a few miles away.

It was just her and Neal now… her best friend; that was a title that time had given them.

Neal…

They were both somehow the same… he knew of lands that she had no clue existed, he was a runaway, and his father was also an evil sorcerer.

And they both needed to stay away from them…

It was for alternate reasons but the same outcome, they would be destroyed. Neal wanted nothing to do with his father Rumpelstiltskin, and she… she wanted nothing more than to be with and without her mother.

It made no sense to Neal, but it made complete sense to her, she needed to stay away and forget for now… the pain was to strong, she still had yet to grow and become what she wanted, for who she wanted.

She was stuck between being that strong older knight for her queen… or just giving up here, now.

Neal did not judge her, she liked that about him. He'd asked her out once, she told him she was gay, and he didn't even blink an eye, he accepted it, he accepted her.

Although he did say he had been to countless realms, being gay was not something out of the ordinary; he had laughed and told her she should see some of the couples in other realms, and that he completely understood her situation.

Neal… he was indeed her best friend now, nothing more.

To the naked eye, they seemed perfect for each other. They even shared a bed, something she saw her mother had noticed. And Emma could not help but feel self-conscious...

She told her mother her and Neal were in love, she prayed to whatever God was real, she hoped her mother did not think what was inevitable to think… Emma was still a virgin, and that would never change, not until…

Emma shook her head, something she caught from Regina, her mother.

She shook her head shamefully… her virginity. Something she held very sacred, something her mother told her once to keep safe and sacred. Emma knew the things her body could feel, she was 17 now and her body had felt many things, she just could not get the image out… Regina. She… she could not think to give herself up to just anyone…. Regina… Regina had stolen not only her heart as a child, but her body as well… ever since puberty slapped her in the face… the day she saw her mother naked, that day it all unraveled, and as she grew her body desired only her…

She could only trust her… her mother after all, no one could hold her and caress her like her mother.

She squeezed her hands on her knees where she sat, the balcony.

She could turn back at any time, and just…

"No."

She needed more time; she needed to break this spell. She would get nowhere like this… she needed to grow now and not let her emotions control her.

 

* * *

 

 

"Oh Regina…" Ruby patted her shoulder kindly, something she desperately needed since that night.

"But Emma is okay, it counts for something child." Granny quickly added, handing her a cup of warm tea to sooth her stressed face.

"I know… it does, but…" but Emma did not, Emma did not need her any longer, she left her…. and that boy.

"But what?" Ruby raised a concerned eyebrow, Regina had yet to share any information about the boy… she would not shame Emma's name.

Emma…

That was the only name she could call her… ever since, ever since her child was ripped away by fate, not once, but twice.

Emma… even her mind thought it, instantly replacing it with her daughter's name.

"But Emma does not need me any longer…" she could feel her warm tears involuntarily fall.

If she thought Daniel was pain, her mother not loving her was pain, her father not protecting was pain… this, her daughter not wanting her, her daughter not needing her was agony.

"That's not true Regina; you're a wonderful mother I mean look at you! You literally abandoned a town to go and find your daughter, and you have a man working for you 24/7 on the clock searching for her. Emma needs you… she's just a teen right now, who knows what she's really going through ya know?" Ruby tried to convince her…. but Ruby did not know, no one did, no one knew what a disgusting mother she was, letting her child fall in love with her… and lying to her face about who she really was.

"You just don't understand…" Regina turned away, looking at her bed, her sheets, the sheets she took from Emma's apartment, she'd placed them on her bed once she'd arrived, she needed to smell her… she needed something.

"Look, how about you take a few days off, you've been buried in your work these past couple of days right after this happened to you… and it's time you think about yourself child, rest, we will be here tomorrow." Granny demanded.

"I think I will do that…" She stares directly at the sheets, as if they were calling her.

 

* * *

 

 

Sleep finally ravished her body, forcing her sad eyes shut.

She had not been able to sleep since she got back… work took over; it helped keep her mind clean, it helped her forget last weeks occurrences.

Her mind was finally shut, the only thing present now darkness.

It's what she needed, and empty dark room in her mind… with no memory of…. of…

"No…" she spoke in her now dreamlike state, mumbling out loud.

Emma, Emma's face started to fade out of that dark haze she called sleep, her dream had begun and it was not going to be good… she regretted sleep right away.

" _Regina…"_

" _Emma?"_

" _I do not need you mother." Emma's beautiful teenage smile came to view, her words not matching her expression._

" _But Emma, I'm your mother!" Regina screamed, she felt it echo through the walls that surrounded them, instantly changing the scenario to a new one._

" _I… LOVE… NEAL… REGINA." Emma looked away, a man's hand grabbing her arm._

" _She's mine now lady." He spoke possessively._

" _How dare you lay a hand on…" Her mouth is instantly shut, a piece of tape appearing on her mouth, not letting her finish._

_The room faded to black and she was now walking through a familiar hall. She was outside her room… the familiar door closed, her rooms door closed._

_She could feel fear and dread, she did not want to open the door… but then she felt a pull, Emma!_

_She worriedly shoved the door open revealing a 12 year old Emma in between… in between..._

_It was that night, the night EMMA HAD…_

_But it was not her legs Emma was in between but… Neal._

" _Get away from my daughter!" Regina screamed menacingly, running towards them._

_But as soon as she grabbed his arms furiously Emma was no longer Emma…. But a 17 year old Emma, and she was on top of this man, her face worried, her naked body grabbing his naked shoulder protectively._

" _What are you doing?" Emma's eyes were scared, she held onto him tighter._

" _I love him mother, I won't let you hurt him!" She screamed protectively._

_She looked herself down; her outfit is none other than one of her infamous Evil Queen gowns…_

" _YOU'RE EVIL!" Emma screamed._

" _Emma honey I…" she feels her tears fall, her chest clenches, it did not feel right to see her daughter and this man…_

" _Stay away!" Emma screamed again._

_Regina suddenly felt a force so strong she closed her eyes, it then went through her chest and straight through her mouth…_

" _BUT I LOVE YOU!" It was just like… it was just like that night, that night Emma confessed… but this time it was her own voice…_

" _I love Neal mother… " Emma whispered._

_Regina's eyes are still wide from her own confession._

" _And besides, you are nothing but the evil queen." Emma looked away from her eyes, facing Neal lovingly._

" _Emma no… wait!" Regina lunged forward landing on nothing but a cold floor, a floor that looked like her kitchen…. It was her kitchen._

_It was no longer her room, why was she…_

_That was when she sees her face, those piercing blue eyes and strong jaw… it was that woman again… it was…_

" _Emma?" She whispered to the laying figure next to her…_

" _My Queen…" Her pain instantly vanished, a feeling she had not felt in so long overtaking her… happiness._

_This woman grazed her tear stained cheeks lovingly, cleaning them away._

_She looked down shyly… and that's when she gets a clear view, the cold floor… they were both lying on the cold floor naked, a blanket wrapped around both their legs…_

_Her cheeks went red, realization hitting her…._

_They were naked on the floor, holding one another and… this was…_

" _Regina?" Emma gently lifted her chin, making her look into those eyes._

" _I love you…" She leaned in her lips so close…._

THUD!

"EMMA!" Regina was instantly woken by a loud thud and a sudden pain on her right hip.

She had fallen out of bed, something that never happened.

The floor… all memories of her dream began to fill her head.

"NO!" Regina yelled into the empty house, it helped in no way.

She could not… she could not…

She does the only thing her currently out of state mind could think of…

She clumsily picked up her phone and dialed his number…

"Hello?" She felt instant relief.

"Archie? I need your help… something is wrong with me."


	12. Chapter 12

**The lighthouse;** **Emma had found the lighthouse.**

She was finally ready, she was finally here… just a few more steps and she'd cross that invisible red line, she remembered the color like it was yesterday; the day she ran away and crossed that line, not knowing it'd disappear right in front of her eyes, encouraging her not to return.

Graham… Graham had found her yet again just days before her big decision, it took him eleven years… eleven long dreaded years but he found her. Graham… What did Regina ever see in him? She could not help but wonder. It took him so long to find her... what a sheriff he was. But she was long over those childish feelings, he did good. As a bail bonds person not just anyone could find her… and he did, she gave him credit that's for sure. And he did help her find her way back to Storybrooke, informing her of the lighthouse Regina had built in case of her return.

Eleven years, one hundred thirty two months, and 4,017 anxious days, days that were permanently gone and impossible to get back, but she learned to be okay with that.

She was 28 now, a street smart, strong, educated woman… She decided right after her second runaway stunt that she'd educate herself somehow; she read all the books the library had to offer, as well as the internet, she was sure she did not need school with her knowledge of reading…. And as for a career? Bail bonds… she found people that no one could find, and she'd bring them down, not just anyone could do this job, especially a woman… or so society thought.

She was your regular modern day knight…. At least that's what Neal would tell her. She knew this wasn't true… she did the job she was good at; she didn't see herself anywhere near a knight, let alone a sheriff. This wasn't what she had in mind as a child… but it got her and Neal by, and on some days… it helped her forget that name. Besides, Emma knew Neal was just saying that to get her to go home… he had confessed a couple years back that he felt guilty helping her escape her mother, insisting that she was no evil queen if she actually cared enough to look for her; something his father would have never even considered.

Was she a knight? No. Was she an adult now? Yes. But all those things she vowed to be as a teen, disappeared with time… she was just Emma now, and the only reason she had been contemplating on her return was the void… the undeniable void she'd been feeling.

Every night she'd lay her head on that pillow, every day she'd drink her hot chocolate with cinnamon, the cinnamon Regina would lovingly add to her hot drink as a child, and last… every time she'd see a mother and her child… she would feel it, the emptiness.

She'd pictured so many scenarios in her head… Regina slapping her being one of them. Emma deserved that, she put that woman through hell...

That woman… Some days she'd forget she actually had a mother... only thinking of Regina. The title quickly began to disappear as she matured. All she could think of was this woman who had raised her and given her love… a love no one could ever replace. As for her decision… it was quickly made for her as soon as Graham knocked on her door 2 days prior, and she sort of thanked him for that. All she wanted now, before she'd scurry away was to ask for Regina's forgiveness…

The pain in Regina's face still tore her apart some nights… seeing that woman on the floor crawling her way in pain was something Emma desperately wanted to erase… along with so many other things…. As for her desires? She locked those away long ago… she wasn't sure what she would feel once she'd see her. All she knew was she was tough enough now… tough enough to be lied too, tough enough to survive what was to come… whatever that was.

So here she was…. Just a few more steps and she'd be in Storybrooke once again; just a few more steps and she'd be home.

"Well Emma, are you ready to go home?" Graham smiled leaning down towards her yellow bugs window. He'd led the way for them… and now stood outside her car encouragingly. All she could do was nod sternly, not wanting to show her definite quivering voice.

"Let's go." He sternly said back.

She felt a tight squeeze on her right hand… Neal was dreading this just as bad, he hoped his father had nothing to do with this curse.

"We can do this Emm…." He whispered gently.

"Even if we couldn't, I have to do this… it's time" she whispered back. She fiercely put her car on Drive, her wheels turning, burning the concrete and quickly passing the town line… so quick that she doesn't realize the parked car right in front of the invisible line… and was instantly met full force with… with that black Mercedes!

Her eyes grew wide realization dawning on the few seconds she had, right before the inevitable impact she looked to her left side seeing Storybooke's familiar trees and… and Regina laying flowers on the edge of the town line… were those for her? and almost as if in slow motion, that is the last thing she sees when….

"Emma watch out!" Neal screamed.

CRASHHHH!

 

* * *

 

 

**She hadn't had those dreams in years…**

5 years to be exact.

She had Dr. Hopper to thank for that… well that and a couple of potions to stop her from dreaming. She hadn't had a dream about Emma in a very long time… but then again, she hadn't had any dreams at all. She missed them. At least the ones where Emma came back to her... but it was necessary, the ghost of that terrible thing would haunt her, those feelings that suddenly crept into her cursed head, and made their way into her dreams… thoughts and feelings that she did not dare think or feel when she was awake.

Those dreams were not real, and now they were non existing.

Archie explained to her that it was just a traumatic experience that happened, and is most likely an effect of loss, that she had nothing to fear and worry about, that her only concern now should be taking care of herself and being productive in town once again; something she had been lacking ever since she came back.

Archie, Ruby and Granny had become a sort of distraction from all this, helping her forget that Emma was not coming back, they'd become almost friends... No, they were friends, she would never admit that out loud to them, but that is what they had become, just the way she took care of Emma… these people had been taking care of her, making sure she didn't crumble.

Her friends…. Those friends she had cursed, those friends that were still cursed.

They could never find out what a terrible thing she had done to them, or else she would surely have nothing to be awake for…

Awake… she had a sleeping curse ready just for her, hidden in her vault, in any case that the town found that horrible book and wanted her dead.

Yes, dead… even her "friends" would surely want her death… because she would surely want them dead if the stories were reversed. No Emma… no friends… all she would have was sleep.

She quickly closed the book, her train of thoughts and worries gone. She placed it back in its place, a place no one would ever dare look.

Ruby, granny and her had a date this morning; coffee, a small chat, and straight to work. It was a routine she was very fond of… it was the only thing she was fond of.

Because after Ruby and Granny, she could get back to work and pretend… pretend everything was okay.

 

* * *

 

 

"Regina." It was Mary Margaret.

Regina could no longer roll her eyes at this woman… she did after all call on a search while she had gone searching for Emma. She knew it wasn't for her, but for Emma… and that was enough to stop herself from hating the woman any further.

Hating was something Regina had no space for in her life… all she really did now was work and… work. She had no time to dream and imagine her child, no… Emma, Emma coming back to her.

"Ms. Blanchard." Regina smiled the best she could.

"I saw you earlier at Granny's, you looked good… I mean you looked… okay." Mary Margaret stumbled on her words nervously, making Regina roll her eyes either way.

"Mary Margaret it's okay, you don't have too…" Her monotone voice was instantly cut off by Mary Margaret pushing a bouquet of flowers forward and against her chest, flowers she hadn't noticed till now… they were yellow like Emma's hair… and red like her apples…. they were…

"I thought I'd give these too you… I read a book on dealing with the loss of a child and thought you could…"

"Excuse me?" Regina stopped her abruptly.

"Emma isn't dead Mary Margaret, she just… she..." Regina did not know how to answer…. Was she lost? Was she a runaway? Was she….

"Regina…" Mary Margaret began to say.

"It's Ms. Mills…" Her eyes famously narrowed.

"I apologize Madam Mayor, look just… put them somewhere special… somewhere where you feel you connect with her… her room, Granny's Diner, the park, the library…" Snows eyes began to water, realization making its way into Regina's memory.

Snow had obviously put some of her own down at the library, she saw them once a year on no specific date… she understood this now, and Snow was NOT going to be the only one doing this from now on. She quickly grabbed the bouquet and walked away sharply… she would find her own spot and prove to be the better mother, the only mother.

And just maybe… maybe this would somehow bring more peace to her shattered and empty heart.

 

* * *

 

The town line, the line that separated her and Emma… this would be the perfect place; she hoped it'd somehow bring them back together instead of dividing them any further.

This was the place that would bring her back... the entrance to their home.

She drove blindly… her heart taking her forward, she did not even bother moving her car out of the road, she stopped right in front of the line, leaving the keys in the ignition and slowly walking out to the side by some green growing grass.

Nostalgia hit her slowly, just like time in this moment.

The green grass was growing… growing, she had missed it all.

"Emma... please…" she began to say a wish, a wish that she knew would not be granted, something she swore she would never try again.

"Come back to me my little knight." She whispered softly, hoping the breeze would somehow pull her words into the other side and straight to her desire.

She gently placed the flowers down by the town line feeling an almost complete feeling, until she was suddenly ripped away from her silent wishes and pulled into a loud sound of crashing metal , a sound so loud that her ear drums were painfully ringing, she turned to her left following the aggressive collision, a yellow coffin on wheels now totaled in front of her eyes, her car getting the least of the damage, but her car did not matter at the moment because the next thing she saw was a grey car pulling up next to the collision, and the next thing she saw was…

"Graham?!" She quickly reached his ears, his eyes turning from pleased to see her, to horror.

What was he doing here? And who were these people he quickly ran out of his car for?

"Madam Mayor! Please… please stay where you are." He put his hands up as to stop her from moving towards them.

"Graham what are you talking about… who are these people and where have you…." Realization hit her in the gut.

This car, these people, Graham being here… he could only return if… if…

"Emma!" Regina's shriek voice filled the now silent air.

She hastily ran towards the smoking car, leaving behind a heel in the process.

Nothing mattered at that moment, not Graham, not Mary Margaret, not her dreams… just Emma.

She ran not fearing the fire that was bound to inflame at any moment now, and as soon as she got to that crushed door her heart skipped a beat in horror and awe.

This was the woman... the woman in her dreams… this was the Emma she'd predicted!

There with her head to the side unconscious, laid a beautiful blonde headed woman with a gash on her head and blood still flowing…

She forced herself to blink away this revelation and get her daughter to safety, she somehow pulled the door open, as if she still had her magic and tightly grabbed a hold of Emma's arms, pulling her out of her vehicle and away from any further danger.

Graham quickly made his way next to her, dragging an unconscious Neal down next to them.

"Madam Mayor, it's Emma… I've brought her back."

Her eyes water as she quickly ripped apart her blouse placing it on Emma's head.

"Sheriff, your job's not done yet, CALL AN AMBULANCE NOW!" She demanded urgently.

"Already on it Mayor Mills!" He quickly goy up and did his job.

"Emma, you came back to me… please don't go." Regina's eyes water uncontrollably.

And as if on cue, just like when she first held her… Emma's body responds, she stirs roughly, slowly squinting an eye open.

That's when she hears that voice, that low and almost silent voice…

"My queen…" Emma whispered as if Regina were a mirage.

Regina's eyes grew wide… Suddenly Emma fell limp in her arms, unconscious once again.

And once again, Regina's dreams become predictions.


	13. Chapter 13

**She was so tired of waiting…**

She'd been waiting 11 years, 11 years for her child to return… this woman to return. But now, now they just had her waiting more…

She needed to be in that room with Emma, she needed to get up from this seat and…

"Mayor Mills." Finally she let a breath out, a breath she didn't even know she was holding.

"Dr. Whale what is taking so long?!" She quickly got up and stared him up and down, doubting his profession.

"It was quite a complication Ms. Mills, these things cannot be rushed." He reminded her.

"She has a concussion and had to get a few stitches." He looked down reviewing his pad, making her impatiently tap her heel on the waiting room floors.

"And?" she nervously asked, dreading the worst, already waiting for fate to torture her somehow.

What would happen now, memory loss? Her heart clenched, at least then Emma would have a reason to forget her. Fate… her fate was almost inevitable. Pain.

"Emma will be fine, she is out of harm's way… she's awake now if you'd like to."

"Please just take me to her." Regina interrupted him once more, relieved to hear there was nothing else to add to her list of punishments. Punishments for being an Evil Queen…

"You may see her as soon as you'd like, but you did not let me finish, do you not want to know about Emma's friend, the complication we had?" It was that man, that man who helped her daughter escape that night, it was Emma's boyfriend…. If that is what he still was.

"That… that is none of my business." She answered to herself more than to Whale.

"It sort of is Mayor Mills. You see Emma is not in a good state of mind at the moment, she needs to rest and take it easy, and from what I understand that is her companion is it not? You must let her know, she will take the news better than I could ever explain… unless you'd prefer me to give her the information?" He responded like the smart ass he had always been, even without his memories he taunted her.

"What was the complication?" She questioned, ignoring his insolent response.

"The impact was so harsh that his brain is now swollen, we've tried bringing the swelling down but we've had no luck… as of now, Neal Cassidy is in a coma." Regina looked down not knowing what to feel… this man was one of the reasons her daughter had not returned, he was… he had stolen her away from her, and he had possibly done things to her that she could not bear to think of… things she spoke to Emma about as a child… things she spoke of to Emma as an almost teen… things she feared for her daughter, things that were taken from Regina… things she hoped weren't taken from Emma.

Her heart palpitated faster and her palms began to sweat, she felt something she had not felt since… since she left that night so long ago… the night she discovered Emma and this man. But she could not… she could not think of such things, she could not feel such things, she'd stopped them long ago, along with her dreams, those forbidden dreams.

This man… he saw her beautiful teenage daughter become a woman, and she'd missed it all... he stole that from her. If she were in the enchanted forest she'd… But there was no sense in wanting him dead; she had enough reasons for Emma to hate her. All that mattered now was Emma was home, Emma was here now. She would be there for Emma, just the way she'd always been. She'd comfort her and be her shoulder... Just like when she was a little girl, that girl that still needed her.

"I will talk to her…" her anger subsided, calmly answering Dr. Whale.

"Oh and Regina…" He looked at her seriously.

"Yes Dr. Whale?" She arched her eyebrow.

"I'm glad she's back." He smiled the most he could, and quickly walked away, letting her take it in.

"Emma is back." She smiled to herself.

 

* * *

 

 

Knock knock!

Emma's dazed eyes look towards the hospital room's door, she hoped it was Neal... She needed to someone familiar, she needed...

"Oh no…" she let a stressed breath go. She'd done it again, she let it slip… not even 5 seconds in town and she'd called her _her_ queen…

"Common Emma… you're not a kid anymore." She reminded herself.

She really hoped it wasn't, it wasn't… the doorknob softly turned, the door slowly opening.

Regina... It was too late; she could no longer feign sleep, she could no longer leave town.

"Emma." She could suddenly see the ageless woman's eyes had began to water as soon as she spoke her name. Only she could say that name and make it sound so special… She squeezed her eyes shut, regretting her thoughts instantly… She was not that person anymore, she was Emma, bail bonds Emma, strong, adult Emma. She could hears Regina's elegant but tentative walk making her way next to her, she could feel that warm heat just inches away.

"Emma… it's Mom." There it is, what she feared. She opened her eyes wanting to narrow them towards this woman, but failing as soon as she laid her eyes on her up close.

"Regina…" Mom was no option for her; it only reminded her of what she lost, what she let go of so long ago.

She could see hurt hazel eyes land on Emma's hands… she knew what her mother, what Regina wanted… to hold it, to hold her now same sized hand and pretend everything was just like then, just like before she tore them apart, before she ripped that title "Mom" away… before she forced herself onto her, before she was ever even worthy… worthy? Here it came, the insecurities… her reasons… she was already thinking like before she left, she was already thinking of the impossibilities… this woman would never love her, not in the way she thought she did… the way she forgot she did… it was all coming back and she did not want it!

"Ah." Her head suddenly began to throb, an instant ache appeared.

"Emma!" Regina placed her hand suddenly on Emma's scratched up face and gently cradled it.

"What is it?" she asked in panic. She could never worry her Mother… yes, that's what she was wasn't she, and she could not help to be.

"My head … " Emma breathed out.

"Let me get Whale in here." She quickly stood up and frantically looked for the buzzard to call for help.

"Mom, MOM!" Emma let go, trying to calm her… she wasn't that little girl anymore and she would show Regina… she would show her mother that. Regina's eyes became wide, as if she'd heard an infant say the words Mom for the first time.

"I'm okay Regi… I'm okay Mom." Emma smiled warmly, as if no time had passed. Regina's tears slid down her pale cheeks…

"Oh Emma." Regina quickly made her way towards her bed, impatiently wrapping her soft arms around her tightly… warmly.

"I've missed you too." Emma whispered, extending her muscular arms around her in return.

She felt something, something she'd always wanted… a perfect fit. After a few minutes of utter bliss Emma let go, realizing something was wrong. Neal would have been here by now, making sure Emma could deal, but he wasn't…

The crash! Neal was with her and….

"Where's Neal?!" Emma questioned in a panic. Not noticing Regina's face fall, hating the fact that she'd ended the moment over her most important thoughts. Neal. 

 

* * *

 

 

**Red and Granny were here…**

How, how did they know? She hadn't told anyone, she hadn't said a word about Emma being back; the town's most beloved child had returned, Regina's most beloved had returned, how did they...

She was surprised to see both Granny and Red as soon as she'd walked out of Emma's room; they both looked slightly disheveled, both still wearing their work aprons.

"Who told you?" Regina questioned, eyes wide with curiosity and concern. She did not need a mole, she did not need everyone to come interrupt her and Emma's reunion, she needed time… time to be just her and Emma again.

"Common Regina, in this town word gets out quick... You know that."  
Ruby warmly answered an aggravated Regina.

"Ruby, I just need too…" Regina's stressed words begin to come out.

But she is suddenly cut off by a soft pat on her shoulder, granny.

"But if you'd like to know it was Whale, he called Ruby up right as soon as he got out of the hospital." Granny responded, quickly relaxing Regina.

"Ugh, that man… Ruby I still don't know what you see in him." Regina rolled her eyes, all worry gone. She knew Whale would only ever tell Ruby, no one else really mattered to that annoying man.

"Your secret is safe Regina, and Whale is just a really, really good friend." Her voice suggested a double meaning.

"Enough of this, I do not need to know. How is the child? How is Emma?" Granny cut all small talk, wanting to know of the child she once helped raise and cherished deeply.

Ruby's face turned serious.

As soon as they'd heard the news of Emma return and accident they closed down the diner and made their way to their Mayor's side.

Granny and Ruby knew more than anyone, Emma was the only real cure to their friends heartbreak.

Regina let out a tired breath.

"Emma, she's…"

"Regina…" Her mouth closed abruptly to the sound of an unforgettable pained voice saying her name behind her.

Her eyes grew wide, accompanied by Granny and Ruby's loud gasps.

She turned around swiftly, seeing an almost crouched Emma trying her best to stay standing.

"Emma what are you!" Regina quickly stepped forward grabbing Emma's arms, holding her steady. Almost like when she taught her how to walk… She wouldn't let anything harm her this time; she would make up for all the lost time.

"Emma answer me, why are you outside your room?" Part of Regina hoped it was because she'd missed her, but she knew it was…

"Neal…" Emma's groggy voice responded.

Regina's heart faints but her feet stay standing strong.

At least she trusted her enough, enough to find her, and her only.

 

* * *

 

 

"Please Regina, take me to his room… I need to…" Emma is cut off by a familiar voice, a voice that she remembered was a source of comfort as a child.

"Emma child… we've got you." Granny and Ruby suddenly helped Regina to keep Emma off her feet, Granny had a hold of Emma's back and Ruby her other arm.

"Yeah kid, we are here." Ruby confirmed.

"Look at you Emma, all grown up. Remember us, the adults? Looks like we still need to carry you!" Ruby smiled playfully.

"Ughhh." Emma grumbled in response, stronger pain in her head.

"Ruby!" Regina shushed her with a disapproving nod.

"Sorry Regina, I'm just happy to see the little bugger, well the big bugger." Ruby apologized quickly.

"You two are friends?" Emma lifted her fallen head to look at them banter, her eyebrows arching and her heart confused. What had she missed?

"Shhh, Emma… don't talk sweetheart. Ruby and I will get you to bed and we will see what we can do to get you to that man… to Neal." She corrected, looking away in embarrassment, horrified that Emma might have heard her anger…. Her jealou…

The running nurses cut her red cheeked expression off…

"We've got her from here Mayor Mills." The nurse replied, trying to take Emma from her arms.

"No!" Regina yelled to the already frightened nurse.

"I'm sorry… she needs me, and… I'll take her back; you just worry about getting her to Neal's room later." Regina toned down her voice, there was no need for anger, not in front of Emma.

"Thank you…" Emma mumbled already dozing off in their arms… in her arms. Emma had seemed to have forgotten Ruby and Granny were there holding her up and leaned her head towards Regina's chest.

"So cute." Ruby hummed with content, obviously happy for her friends.

"Ruby shush, common help me here." Regina shyly looked at an already dozing Emma.

They gently walked Emma back and lay her in bed, not having to worry about an anxious Emma… she was sound asleep as soon as they'd laid her on the bed.

"Let's go child, we should let her be." Granny squeezed Regina's hand, reminding her that Emma would not go away again, she was home.

 

* * *

 

"Thank you you two…. I was going to tell you about Emma, it's just… I needed time with her… I needed."

Regina tried to explain her previous concern over who had told them.

"It's alright Regina, we get it." Ruby responded knowingly.

"You two have a lot of catching up to do and don't need the towns people on your ass." Granny stated seriously.

"Thank you." Regina's eyes water, why had she cursed these two?

"Well we will let you be Mills, call us if you need anything, we've got you." Ruby came forward hugging her first, Granny quickly joined.

"I will." Regina tightly hugs them both back.

* * *

 

It'd been a whole day and Emma was yet to be awake, Ruby had texted her if she needed clothes, but Regina said she'd be fine.

A loop kept playing in her head… that man, Neal, Emma seemed to really need him.

She needed him as much as she herself needed Emma… she had never seen her daughter be so frantic over someone who wasn't… someone who wasn't herself.

Emma was back… yet she still felt _her_ Emma was gone.


	14. Chapter 14

**Two weeks gone by…**

She wasn't leaving his bed side. She had fully recovered a few days ago and hadn't left his room since.

Regina… she was… she was as perfect as she remembered. She had been taking her to Neal's room ever since her panic two weeks prior; she said she wasn't letting her get hurt again. She was just as she remembered; Regina would never let anyone hurt her… Regina was always a knight of her own, no… a Queen of her own.

Emma shook her head, something she'd been doing so much of since she got back, so many unwanted but desired thoughts. She squeezed his hand tightly, hoping he'd open his eyes real soon.

"Please Neal, I can't do this without you…" Her eyes watered.

She needed her friend… she needed her best friend. She could not be alone with that woman, not until he was awake. He'd help her stay steady; he'd help her stay on track… She'd hardly really talked to Regina… just a thank you here and longing smile there, She had noticed the pain it caused her, but… she needed to remind herself that this was best, she was on the verge of saying the wrong things, on the verge of pushing her away for their own good, or pushing her towards the nearest wall and breathe her in, breathe her in like a dog that hadn't seen its owner in days.

"Neal, please… I need you." She whispered to what she thought was an empty room.

"Hem…"

She heard a familiar husky voice clearing her throat. She turns to see the one person she needed more than Neal but could not show it. Yes… she needed this woman that stood right behind her, nervous eyes looking straight at her, apologetic and… sad? eyes looked at her.

"Mom." Emma called her what Regina wished, it hurting slightly every time.

"I'm sorry to walk in on you in… such a private moment." She narrowed her eyes, those eyes she remembered her giving to so many people but her… and now?

"Regina?" She would ask, it's the least she could do…

It was better than saying nothing but hello and thank you.

"Yes Emma?" her eyes slightly widened, taking in her own name, like she'd never heard it before.

"Are you okay? You seem… upset?" Emma's voice suddenly went up an octave. She was never great at expressing her feelings… especially with women who were so…. Her mother was always… beautiful.

No, no… regal.

"I…" her eyes looked away and back nervously, just like that one time long ago when she'd asked her why she hated her teacher.

Mary Margaret… she'd remind herself to see her soon.

"It's okay, just making conversation. You don't really have to answer me…" Emma interrupted whatever answer was coming. It was hard to be like before… so trusting of one another… it hurt, but that door was closed when she stepped out that town line, when so many people betrayed her, when Emma ruined the one relationship that meant everything… when her mother refused to tell her about the book.

The book, she still remembered… she'd get to that eventually, no matter what happened now… she'd find out what her mother was so scared of… that was undeniably on her to do list. Regina was still silent, she hadn't responded…

Emma wondered if she was coming up with a lie. Or maybe she'd have the same thoughts as she… All these thoughts… these thoughts she tried to ignore for months, days, and years… this was a consequence of her return, but Neal… he really pushed… and they were here, with her.

"I'm okay." Her mother finally responded.

"Took you kind of long to, just be okay Regina?" Emma responded smartly in return, she definitely wasn't a kid anymore.

"I…" Regina looked around frantically, not expecting that response. Emma knew she probably expected the warm and fuzzy love struck child as before… but no, Emma was 28, she was an adult and that child was gone. But suddenly, suddenly she heard those heels clatter towards her, Regina's eyes nothing but serious, the regal woman she knew present again.

"What are you?" It was Emma's turn to look around frantically, eyes wide.

She felt those soft well manicured hands reach for her strong arms; she could not help but flinch… her mother's eyes saddening, but quickly shaking it off. She ignored Emma's discomfort, and grabbed her nearest hand… lifting it towards her cheek, pressing it gently against it… just like when Emma would reach for it on her own. Regina closed her eyes, lingering on the familiar touch, the touch she herself had to initiate.

"Emma please, you need to stop this…" Regina's spoke eyes closed, almost as if she were to be talking more to the hand against her cheek, then to her.

"Stop what…" Emma whispered, voice shivering… her eyes watering instantly, she knew what Regina was talking about, but she couldn't…

"Emma… please, talk to me…. open the door." Emma then closed her eyes; Regina's words making her grab her chest with the only hand she could use.

"I'm your Mother and…" Emma's eyes opened, breaking the spell. Yes… her mother, she needed to remember that line. Emma's hand slipped out of Regina's gently, forcing Regina to open her eyes. Regina's eyes began to glisten with unshed tears, her lips forming a sentence that made Emma's head reel.

"I need you." Regina whispered, her voice broken. She could not handle it, just like when she was a child, she could not handle seeing her mother so upset….

Emma's body took immediate control, all fear pushed aside. Her hand subconsciously grabbed a hold of Regina's arm and pulled her towards her and against her chest, her arms engulfing the woman she'd long to hug ever since she'd learned how. She tightly squeezes, pouring everything she'd felt since she'd ran away.

The loneliness, the fear, the longing… all of it… all she needed was her mother, but she hid that because she felt she did not deserve it, she felt she'd lost it… she was scared to feel those things, she was scared to not be enough…

All those things… and all she ever needed was her mother, Yes! Her mother, that was what she was, no matter what she felt, what horrible things she felt, she still had a mother… and she'd been missing that since she'd gone. Emma could not bare to contain a wrenching cry, a cry she'd withheld for years… a cry that was meant for only Regina to hear… it was a cry for her.

"Mom!" Emma slid down, her head now buried in Regina's chest, her muffled cries hiding in Regina's blouse.

"Oh Emma…" Regina's arms pushed Emma deeper into her chest, her own tears falling on Emma's blonde locks.

Regina had found the key… and Emma was okay with that, she was. She'd always had it… but Neal, he was right… she needed to come back to feel…. to feel okay again.

The door had not been opened, that was something neither of them were quite ready to face… but soon, soon they'd have too, but right now all that mattered to Emma was this…. She needed this. Her thoughts quickly interrupted by a soft hand rubbing her head, and her mother's voice humming pleasant words. Words she never thought she'd be so happy to hear.

"Let's go home Emma? I promise we'll come see Neal later, but right now… I think we need too…"

"Yes." Emma quickly replied, her eyes peeked out from Regina's chest.

"Let's go home." She repeated to a now smiling Regina, that smile she hadn't seen in so long, that true smile, that Emma knew only she could put on this woman's face.

 

* * *

 

 

**It was as if time had stood still…**

The mansion, their home, it was just like when she'd left it.

Her mother had not changed a single thing; every portrait, every award, and every piece of furniture were all intact and in the exact same place as when she had last seen them… as if her mother had not been staying here, as if her mother had ran away as well, as if she'd…

The sudden sound of her mother's heels approaching her snap her out of her inevitable observation.

"Emma, are you okay?" Regina asked softly, a glass of lemonade in hand.

She gently pressed the lemonade into her soft un-manicured hand, at the same time extending a timid hand on her shoulder.

"Emma?" She tried to sound patient.

"Regina…"

Emma took a sip, encouraging herself to try and open up like she had at the hospital. It was hard but… for her mother, she'd try harder.

She had so many questions, but she was dreading all the answers she'd get.

One of those questions… Had her mother really avoided this house? Had Regina avoided their home because of her? Did it pain her to be in this house knowing she once lived in it? Her chest tightened and the sudden answer to her thoughts.

She wasn't going to assume anything… she wasn't going to cry, she wasn't going to run into her mother's arms like just an hour ago… she felt like that child again, that needy child that needed to comfort her mother 24/7… she was an adult now, she.. She would ask.

"Mom." Emma finally looks into those concerned eyes, but not before quickly staring at the lingering hand on her shoulder, how long had that been there, she wondered.

"Yes my love?" Oh shit, the pet names, Emma swallowed the already nervous lump. How did an adult's hands get sweaty so quickly? She gripped her lemonade tighter… the pet names, God… she missed those so much… she… Damn it!

"Ugh!" Emma grumbled to herself.

"Emma, what is it?" Regina asked impatiently.

She was not going to run into those arms… it was too quick to be just like before. She wasn't 10, and she was not going to run.

"Umm, why is everything still the same?" Emma looked down, already ashamed to have asked.

She dreaded the answer.

Regina momentarily looked down in response, her lips moved the words not eager to come out.

"Remember that time I found you in New York?" Regina lifted her head, her eyes looking away self consciously.

That was the night Graham found her, the night she found out about that perverts death and that Graham had been looking for…

Realization hits her… Regina, she'd been looking for her for so long, for so long that she didn't even, she didn't have time for herself, for things like buying new curtains, and redecorating the house, something Regina loved to do throughout all her childhood, she loved to decorate.

"Regina…" Emma whispered, her voice saddened.

But before Emma could really say anything Regina cuts her off, avoiding all pity.

"Emma, can we not talk about…"

She knew her mother, she hated feeling pitied… but this was not pity. All Emma wanted now was to make up for what she'd caused. Her mother's emptiness…

"I think we need to talk, finally talk about that night." Regina cut again, this time she was sure she cut more than just the conversation.

Emma's heart felt as if it'd being cut open, she wasn't ready for this, she couldn't… she could barely ask Regina about the house, how was she going too…

"I can't…" her voice spoke what her mind thought, her eyes grew wide, the lemonade shook in her hand.

 

* * *

 

 

Emma's eyes grew wide; she looked so young at that moment, like she'd caught her eating out of the cookie jar again, or like… like when she'd just come out of her shower, that time Emma could barely look away, that time… she needed to know.

She looked up at Emma's face once more, seeing only dread in her eyes. Guilt comes rushing in.

She could not, she was Emma's mother; She was supposed to make her feel safe and comfortable, at home.

All Regina wanted was for the two of them to come home, to their home and remind Emma where she belonged, she wanted to open up for Emma, she wanted to reconnect and talk about everything, EVERYTHING! She needed Emma to know it was okay, she was a child and it did not matter… she needed to know if Emma was okay, what had happened to her all those years, she needed to know if that man hurt her so long ago, that now dead man. She needed to know if she'd saved herself or the way she'd taught her too countless times, all she wanted was to have her child back and get Emma to open up but instead she…

Emma was so close to running out of this house, she needed to take it back!

She wasn't ready, and now her hearts hopeful beat dimmed, she'd rushed things.

"We need to talk about that night I found you, the night you took off with… with Neal." She'd change the question; she hoped she'd get at least this answer. Did Emma not need her anymore?

She noticed Emma's shoulder slightly relax, her mouth opening for air.

Emma took a noticeable breath and lifted up her glass of lemonade.

"You got anything stronger?" Emma asked sternly.

Regina's eyes looked momentarily surprised, just like that time Emma had asked her long ago; that time Emma had asked what that little "thing" in between her legs was for. Regina's heart had skipped a beat, Emma was growing…

But now, her child was no longer a child but a confident, beautiful woman… and she needed, she needed to treat her like one, even though part of her wanted nothing more than to grab Emma and pull her into her bed, and have Emma need her like when she was four and could not sleep without her.

"I apologize; I forget you are 28 now." She smiled politely, shaking off all surprise.

"Would you like some Cider Emma?" Regina asked, her regal voice now present.

 

* * *

 

 

Emma could not help but nod her head yes in response, her words stuck; Regina's regal voice suddenly taking away all her confidence.

Regina nodded her head and swiftly turned away, making her way out of the study room, giving Emma time to recollect herself. That woman could undue her quicker than anyone she'd ever met.

She took a quick sip of the lemonade; trying to remind herself why she wanted the cider in the first place, besides needing the alcohol to boost her words.

She wasn't twelve anymore, and she felt she needed to remind her mother of that, also she'd been craving the taste of that sweet apple cider her mother took out on certain occasions, that apple cider she'd secretly take sips from at thanksgiving dinners and birthday parties. She'd craved the taste since she turned sixteen.

She laughed lightly causing Regina to look at her curiously as she'd entered back into the room.

"What's so amusing?" Regina asked, two glasses of apple Cider in hand.

"It's nothing really, I just…" Emma thinks of a lie, the truth is Emma would drink from her mother's glass to not only taste the forbidden cider, but too… too taste what she imagined her mother's mouth tasted like.

She loved the idea of Regina's mouth on the glass of cider and then on her own… she could not help but laugh at the realization, even back then when she did not realize why she'd do it… she knew now.

And laughter was the only way she could express the irony of the situation.

"I used to drink out of your cider when you weren't looking." Emma admitted, it couldn't hurt to tell half the truth.

"Emma!" Regina's mouth opened in shock.

She then suddenly feels a light slap on her shoulder, "You little jerk, I told you not too…" Regina playfully raged.

"Haha, I was ten common." Emma added to Regina's now grinning mouth.

After a few seconds of almost nostalgic laughter, their mouths close; silence anew.

"I've missed this…" Regina spoke first.

"Me too." She whispered almost low enough not to catch.

But she knew Regina heard…

"Then why did you go that day I had finally found you." Regina's eyes squinted, her tears trapped.

Emma hurriedly sipped her glass, finishing the cider miraculously fast and explains the most she could without considering her own breath.

"I wasn't ready too; I wasn't ready to see you… I needed to grow up some more and fix myself."

"There was nothing wrong with you Emma!" Regina cut in, her glass now emptied as well.

Emma wasn't going to answer that, or else she'd answer the first question… the question Emma knew her mother really wanted to ask.

"I was in love with Neal and I knew that if I went with you I wouldn't see him again and he… I couldn't handle that Regina." That old lie was back, it would do for now.

"Was?" Regina almost hopefully questioned.

Hopefully? Emma thought…

"I… I love Neal mother and right now I can't even." She grabbed her head, feigning pain.

"I know I'm sorry, I shouldn't even be asking so much of you right now… your friend… your boyfriend is in a coma and I.." Emma's heart sunk, Neal was not her boyfriend but right now she needed to cut Regina off before she kept digging.

"Can I go to my room?" Emma ignored Regina's last words, not wanting to lie further.

"Off course." Regina nods, her voice almost quivered.

Shit… She could see her mother's eyes blur, what did she do?

My queen…

That was that… those final thoughts push her towards the nearest exit, her room.

She quickly ran out, leaving a quiet Regina behind.

 

* * *

 

 

Regina let her go; she could tell Emma wasn't ready for any of it; not that night, not that other night.

At least now Regina's most hidden questions were answered, the one question she did not want to ask… Emma and Neal were still together and that, and that… that she feared broke her most of all.

Night came quick; her broken head was sure to rest.

And this would have been true was it not for the impossible… she began to dream.

Something she'd forced herself to never do again, she'd drank the potion… how?

They were back and…

" _Oh Emma." Regina wrapped her arms gently around a gentle but strong woman below her._

" _Are you sure?" Regina's trembling voice cautiously asked._

_The woman nodded her head innocently in return, fire in her eyes…_

_Regina leaned in kissing the woman fiercely, like she'd never get another chance._

" _Please Regina I cannot wait any longer." The blonde locked woman's eyes, responded breathlessly._

_It was… it was Emma._

" _Nor can I my love." Regina slowly slid her hands in between long slender legs and..."_

GASPS!

"No!" Regina forced herself to open her eyes, she harshly lifted her body up, making herself come back to reality.

"This cannot be happening again, this…" Regina's began to cry in guilt, she gently pressed her wet face into the feathered pillow that became the only object of comfort over her many lonely years.

A sudden thud then made her lift her head; her tears halt as she realizes it had came from Emma's room.

A familiar feeling comes over her, just like that night she feared for Emma, Sydney… that all too familiar feeling; worry.

She quickly checked the nightstand, 5:00 a.m. how long had she?

She suddenly heard another soft thud and this time she was not letting her thoughts stop her…

She quickly got up, making her way past her door, through the hall and swiftly pushed Emma's door open.

What she saw makes her body stiffen, makes her body replicate an all too familiar child who once walked in on her mother's shower such a long but short time ago.

Emma was lying on her bed, sheets on the floor, her jeans unbuttoned and her hand… her hand in between her legs. She was sweating and mumbling words… she, she was asleep?

Her eyes tried their best not to linger, Emma's sudden moan making her freeze further.

"Emma.." Regina whispered, her dreams playing fresh in her mind.

She needed to wake her up, she needed too…

And then it hit her like an arrow with fire through her chest… Emma moaned out a name, a name she wished she hadn't heard.

"Regina, please…"

That was it, she couldn't bear it, her breath became quicker as her motherly instincts took over, she ran towards Emma's sleeping form and shook her awake.

"Emma wake up, please!" Regina's voice pleaded.

Emma's eyes quickly fluttered open and in worry.

"Regina?!" Emma's eyes opened wide and in horror, quickly looking down at her hand and straight up to Regina's worried eyes.

"I… Regina it's not what…" Emma's voice confidently tried to cover.

"Emma… I know." Regina's voice was stern now, making Emma's face temporarily show her teenage self again.

"Know what?" She swallowed roughly.


	15. Chapter 15

**It had been so long since she'd dreamt...**

So long since Emma had closed her eyes and seen that cloudy screen in her head, that magical screen that had given her images of the one person she could not physically see.

She was twenty when she had stopped dreaming, it hit her like a spell, like a curse…

A curse that stole away all her images, all those pictures she had of her mother, as a young girl and of a possible future. A future she would dream of, but would surely never happen.

She could remember having one so vivid that she swore she had never ran away and grew up to become Regina's... lover, Regina's true love. She could also remember the last one she had; the one where she and her were on the kitchen floor. She remembered waking up from what she thought was the cold kitchen floor of her mother's mansion, she'd been laying on it just moments ago, a woman wrapped into her arms, a woman and her naked in each other embrace… that woman unchanging.

It was her, always her… Regina was in her arms.

But as soon as her eyes had opened she realized that cold kitchen floor was just a dream, she had been where she slept just hours ago, her and Neal's bed. It was indeed a curse, her dream had given her false predictions and then ripped them away, because after that, the dreams stopped coming.

She remembered waking up, her face full of sweat and her body shivering. It was like her head was trying to come up with these images but her body was fighting against it, making her crazy in the process. Luckily Neal had been there, he calmed her after a few days without them, and convinced her that it probably meant that she was finally over Regina and that time had finally taken its toll.

She was no longer sweating or shivering, convincing herself that she was indeed getting over it. But the one problem was, it not only stole Regina, it stole all her dreams entirely.

That was, until now.

 

* * *

 

 

As soon as she'd quickly escaped Regina's tear filled eyes she'd made her way straight and directly to her old safe haven, her room. She quickly looked around and ignored the undeniably untouched objects and laid her head on the soft feathered pillows she didn't even know she had missed till now.

The dream hit her quicker then she'd ran from the queen.

**_(The Dream)_ **

_She could feel a soft gentle touch caress her rosy child like cheeks and slide down to cradle her strong structured jaw._

_"You are so beautiful Emma." That voice softly tells her._

_Her dreams had returned, as if they'd never gone, and her eyes tear up at the sudden realization, but is soon forgotten when Regina quickly absorbs them with her long slender fingers._

_"It's okay my love, I'm here, I've always been here." She could feel her mother gently press her pointing finger on the left side of her chest, tracing a heart._

_"Regina…" Emma's contently hums, tears long gone._

_Her skin begins to warm, her chest filling up with undeniable passion, and like a fast forwarded tape, the images become blurry and quick, stopping in the part she wanted to see most. They were on Regina's bed, that familar bed and her soft white sheets… her white sheets? Those were her sheets from her old apartment? Emma happily shakes her head, not questioning her dreams…_

_"Oh Emma." Regina wraps her arms gently around her, looking down at her with patient loving eyes._

_"Are you sure honey?" Emma nods innocently, knowing this was her first time. Regina leans in kissing her fiercely, like she'd never get another chance, she'd hope it wasn't the last._

_"Regina please, I cannot wait any longer."Emma responds breathlessly, pleading to the dark haired woman._

_"Nor can I my love." Regina slowly slides her hands in between her long slender legs and..._

_"My queen." Emma moans softly, her voice quivering. She cannot help and tremble at the sudden sensation, Regina's fingers softly rubbing Emma's sensitive bottom lips, preparing her for what was to come._

_"Emma…" Regina's voice timidly whispers._

Timidly? She could feel her hips buck as Regina slid her fingers up and down and in small circles. But Emma could no longer respond to her ministrations because the next thing she hears forces her to wake up from her much deprived dream.

"EMMA WAKE UP, PLEASE!" Her mother's voice woke her roughly. Barely open, Emma's eyes look down to the wet sensation on her hand and realization came crashing.

 

* * *

 

 

"Regina?!" her eyes grew wide like headlights, and directly shined on Regina's worried face.

"I… Regina it's not what…" Emma's voice confidently tried to cover.

"Emma… I know." Regina's voice is stern now, making Emma's face temporarily show her 12 year old self.

"Know what?" She felt herself swallow roughly. Regina suddenly looked down, as if she were contemplating. That's when she saw it… a blush? Her mother's cheeks were blushing red and, and…. Why was Regina looking down? Was she nervous? Her mother was never nervous...

"That's not it." Emma accidently said out loud her red cheeks permanent from embarrassment.

"I.." Regina tried to explain what she wanted to say. That's it, she embarrassed her mother… it couldn't be what she secretly hoped it'd be.

Besides what was worse than catching your defective child touching herself in her late 20's? Oh God, she really thought she was ready to come back… she…

"I know Emma, it's okay… we've all had those kinds of dreams, there's nothing to be embarrassed about really… besides…" Regina let out a nervous chuckle.

"This would have happened eventually, whether you were 16 or… now." She smiled lovingly, erasing all awkwardness and composing herself.

"Umm, yeah… I mean I know… I just, I haven't had a dream in such a…" Emma tightens her mouth shut, she'd take this as a free pass.

"I haven't ya know done that in a really long time, I guess it's the stress with Neal and all." She smiled; well what Emma hoped was a smile.

 

* * *

 

 

 "Neal, off course." Regina's voice became stale.

"Omg, Neal! I… what time is it? I should go take a quick run and… I need to go see him." Emma quickly stood up not remembering that her jeans were unzipped and her lace underwear were now very much visible. "Shit." Emma uncomfortably turned sideways away from her mother's avoiding eyes.

"Sorry, I promise I'm not a messy adult, I just get hot at night and…"

"It's okay Emma." Regina cut, her voice hitting the wall to her left. Yup, her mother could not even look at her.

"Well umm, I'll see you in a few." Emma started to walk passed her, until Regina gently presses her arm on a very bare shoulder.

"If you need any clean shirts they are downstairs in the washer room, you should fit into my clothes now." Regina offered, her hand quickly removing itself from Emma's stiff shoulder.

"Yes, a shirt… gotcha." Emma nodded. Regina looked down, a hint of shame in her face.

"Mom…" Emma couldn't help but take it as sadness.

"Thank you for not making that a lot worse… I… I don't know what I'd do without you." Emma let it go, instantly making Regina's face light up like she hadn't seen since she'd hugged her, maybe it wasn't so bad opening up a little more… making Regina smile a lot more. …... After having a quick breakfast at home, and avoiding the townspeople… Emma and her made their way to the hospital and were now in Neal's room, his condition had yet to change and Emma… Emma was still by his side.

Regina watched as Emma sat by Neal's side her hand in his, her face remained stoic but truly it almost made her want to rip her own heart out. Part of her knew this was normal, Emma was bound to fall in love, but Regina, all she wanted was to have that time with Emma… and this man, he was getting all of it.

All she wanted was Emma… and Emma's time, something that was stolen from her years ago. Regina took a quick sip from her coffee, something she'd brought from home after the lack of sleep. She gripped the disposable cup tightly, her ears taking in the words Emma had begun to say.

"Neal please, you have to wake up." Emma smoothed his hair gently back, like a mother would her child… like she once did to Emma. Her heart sunk further down, ever since Emma had come back it was either happiness or pain and right now it was… And that's when she heard those words, those words Emma had told her just moments ago… the words she hoped were only meant for her.

"I don't know what I'd do without you." Emma whispered.

_SMASH._

"MOM?!" Emma turned around sharply towards the sound.

She'd done it, she'd let the jealo… she'd let the pain get to her. Regina could not handle what she'd heard directed towards someone other than herself, she… she'd squeezed the cup so hard that it burst open, sending the hot liquid onto her sensitive hand and the now dismantled cup on the floor. Emma's eyes grew wide with worry, quickly standing up and making her way in front of her trembling hand.

"Mom? Are you okay?!" Emma looked around frantically, not understanding what had happened.

 

* * *

 

 

Her mother was silent and Emma did not know what was going on… she worriedly looked down at the spilled coffee and broken cup on the floor and a red hot mark growing on her mother's hand. Worry suddenly hit her, it hits her hard. She immediately felt something pull her forward and take control, something she had not felt since she was a pre teen.

She moved forward quickly grabbing Regina's wounded hand and…

"My queen are you hurt?" she gently lifted the injured hand towards her mouth and… no she couldn't, she pressed her lips tenderly on the soft red skin, quickly caressing it with her lips.

"Emma…" her mother's high pitched voice pulled her back to her proper age.

"I'm… are you okay?" Emma shook her head, trying to avoid what she'd just done.

"I'm… oh, Emma!" a sudden light surrounded Regina's hand and when she looked down her hand was clean of any burns, she'd been healed… Emma healed her. 

"My Magic is back." Emma whispered more to herself.

"Indeed it is." Regina responded, her rosy cheeks were now present.

 

* * *

 

**She had almost forgotten she had magic…**

She'd been so worried about her endless problems and inevitable consequences that she'd pushed away something she forgot was so amazing and quite literally magical.

Emma never quite did take the time to revel in her magic; she'd always had a bigger occurrence to deal with.

She remembered the first time using it, she could only think about protecting her mother.

She could remeber not worrying about what she'd just done, how she'd just thrown a man out of a window with nothing but a flick of her tiny wrists, but about protecting a woman she had fallen so deeply for...

At that moment magic was something less concerning, when all she could do was think about Regina… and the feelings that came crumbling down after that… the undying feelings that had led her to where she was now; Still undeniably in love with Regina; the woman who birthed her, the woman that no matter how many years had gone by was still undeniably her _mother._

Regina and her had soon left the hospital and decided to take a long walk, something they'd do often when she'd been in Storybrooke years before.

She'd ask a young Emma to accompany her for a walk, usually that was after one of her stressful days or just because.

And today, today was just because…

They'd quickly left the hospital ground and avoided any chance of bumping into those curious townspeople.

She could never forget how much Regina hated their lurking eyes, and part of Emma knew Regina was not ready to have a fleet of people surrounding her with questions, and Emma knew she herself was not ready for any reunions, not until she had a good enough excuse for why she'd left.

She really hoped they hadn't spread nasty rumors about her mother, because Emma knew how strange they could be about their regal mayor.

Regina…

She really was regal… even after burning herself and being healed, she'd pretended she was completely okay and chose to react as calmly as possible, asking Emma if she'd like to go for a walk right after the eye opening incident.

So that is what they did…

 

As they silently walked hands near each other, Emma decided to blurt out what Regina had so easily shrugged and remained silent about earlier, magic.

"Do you have magic?" Emma couldn't help but end the almost peaceful silence, their footsteps against the concrete making the only sounds.

Her mother's eyes decided to open wide at this occasion.

She could see her struggling to answer, her shoulders uncomfortably going up, and her hands now in her gray pantsuit pockets.

"Regina?"

Emma pushed, her voice reminding Regina that she needed trust.

A word she rarely saw put into action.

Regina lifted her head and smiled almost self consciously.

"I had magic, yes."

"Had?" Emma questioned; her eyebrow now arched with curiosity.

"Yes, had… it was a long time ago and…" Regina abruptly stopped her feet from moving, a smile replacing her nerves.

"Emma! Look it's our bench." She turned to Emma's now confused eyes.

"Our what?" Emma replied, her voice pitched up in confusion over the sudden change in topic.

She then suddenly felt Regina's soft hand grab her own and pull her towards a bench.

"Don't you remember? Sunday mornings; you, me, and ice cream on this bench?"

Regina's smile grew wider; convincing Emma to forget the previous subject.

"Ice cream…" Emma could not help but voice out Regina's memories, a hint of excitement flashing in her eyes.

Regina softly pulled them both down and onto the bench, the feeling of them both sitting down next to each other now fresh in Emma's mind.

"Ice cream!" Emma's excitedly responded; her and Regina now sharing the same memory.

Regina crossed her legs and contently let go of Emma's hand, both of them now sitting as if they'd never lost time.

And Emma carelessly did what she'd do when she was careless and 10 years old.

She does not let her mother let go of her.

She quickly grabbed Regina's hand, not letting her let go.

"How's the hand?" Emma asked, with a confidence she already had as an adult in New York, and a bravery she lost when she left home.

Regina's eyes did what they'd been doing since she'd came back, they grew twice their size, shaking her head and erasing her expression. 

 

* * *

 

 

Her eyes momentarily linger on Emma's hand holding hers.

Her eyes grow wide and then quickly take control again. This was normal… they'd done it all the time.

She just didn't think Emma would… not after everything. Not after seeing how hard she'd become.

She looked up, pretending this did not affect her, pretending her heart did not just skip a beat over something so… normal.

"It's okay… thanks to you." Regina smiled proudly.

"Well I try." Emma responded almost flirtatiously?

No, that wasn't it… How could Regina possibly even think such things?

Regina momentarily stayed silent, making Emma's cheeks suddenly turn to red.

Had she said something wrong? She really hoped she hadn't made Emma feel uncomfortable in any way… she couldn't bare it.

"Thank you my love, for healing me… I don't know what I'd done without you." Regina attempted to make her feel at home again.

But she noticed Emma's face go from red to worry.

"It was no big deal Mom, that's what daughters are for." Emma looked down; waving her hand in the air… assuring Regina that it was indeed no problem.

Had she said something else wrong? Had she… Oh gosh, had she made Emma feel like a kid or something? Because this was definitely not her little Emma… this was…

" _REGINA!"_

They are both suddenly interrupted by an upset looking Mary Margret.

"Mary Margret?!" Regina quickly stood up, her body tense again.

Mary Margaret looked at a bewildered Emma, tears threatening to fall.

"When did? Why didn't you tell us?" Regina looked away shamefully, ignoring Mary Margaret's already falling tears.

"Mary Margaret I'm… I'm sorry…" Regina looked up, a regrettable expression replacing her stiffness.

"You're sorry?" Regina heard Emma's voice whisper in confusion. 

 

* * *

 

 

"YOU TWO ARE FRIENDS?" It was Emma's turn to feel betrayed.

She looked around confused, a hint of pain in her chest.

Were they friends? How long had Emma been gone…. Her mother was friends with Mary Margaret!

Emma hid her and Mary M's friendship for years, trying hard not to disappoint her mother and now…. they are friends?

"Emma…" Mary Margaret breathed out happily.

Making Regina turn away from the scene.

That's when Emma took a good look at the woman in front of her.

"Wow, does anybody not age in this town." She could not help but notice how young Mary Margret still looked.

"Emma we looked so hard… for years…" Mary Margaret explained, making Emma feel so much worse for leaving for so long…

She didn't think….

She quickly got up and wrapped her arms around Mary Margaret tightly, showing her appreciation and the love she had for the teacher she never could forget.

"I'm glad your back." She whispered to a now slightly taller Emma.

"Mary Margaret we need to…" Regina cut in suddenly, just as they let go.

"I apologize for not telling the town my business but… I just needed to…" Emma could tell Regina was finding it difficult to justify herself and right now Emma wanted nothing more than to step in a defend her but… but she was a bit taken back by her mother's new friendship.

"Look, I just need some time with her… alone and…"

"I get it." Mary Margret cut her mother's incomplete sentence.

"You do…" Regina responded.

"I'll leave you two alone… I'm going to go make a welcome back cake with a couple of…" Mary Margaret quickly walked away happily and already planning to tell a few people of the news.

But before Regina could stop her from walking away, and warning her not to Emma held her shoulder back and turned them face to face.

"It's okay woman, I'm all yours, no matter who knows…" Emma assured her, making Regina push away suddenly at her words.

"Emma don't… don't call me that I… I'm your mother." Regina silently responded her hand grabbing her chest.

Something Emma had also been doing over the years.

"But that is what you are… a woman." Emma's voice whispered in response.

"Emma… we still need to talk, I… I need us to be honest with each other..." Regina shook her head, as if to take control again.

Something Emma decided she was not letting her do right now. 

"Honest?!" Emma's strong voice echoed through the now empty park, making Regina suddenly wrap her arms around herself.

"Honest? Regina you haven't been honest one bit.. I … I don't even know why you hated MARY Margaret in the first place and now you two are… you two are besties?" Emma couldn't help but express her frustration.

"Besties? I would hardly consider…" Regina began to roll her eyes, trying to ignore Emma's avoidable question.

"What happened to your magic? Why did you hate Mary Margaret? And why did you lie to me about the book?" Emma could see Regina's face showed horror, and.. and something Emma could never stand… her tears.

"Emma I can't… You don't under…" Emma doesn't know if it was her re-found magic, or her unthinking brain, but that undeniable magnet suddenly pulled her forward and straight to Regina's lips; she needed to shut her up.. she needed to…

 

* * *

 

 

"Emma!" Regina tried to stop the contact but Emma was to quick… she suddenly felt a soft pair of lips against her own. Those soft lips that she'd dreamt about and tried to deny for so long… those lips that belonged to… to her daughter, to her child!

Regina's eyes opened wide, but before she could detach their lips apart a warm feeling took over and a light spreads around them like lightning going off… a light that rushed through them and passed through the tress around them…

Magic.

It could not be.

This was, impossible. 

Was this? Was this…

True…

Loves…

Kiss?

And now, her world was undeniably shaken, her curse was now broken.


	16. Chapter 16

**Was this some kind of sick joke?**

Her child...

Her daughter…

True love's kiss… She bows her head down roughly, staring at the concrete floor; her mind trying to find some kind of logic, but the ground was all she could look at and make sense of.

Snow White's daughter… Yes, that was what she undeniably was now… Snow's. She would surely rip that title away from her, now that… now that her curse was broken. Regina could feel a tear slide down her cheek… it was inevitable after all. She clenched her chest with worry, pain and confusion.

"Regina…." She looked up, the ache in her chest lessening and her heart palpitating at a faster rate.

That voice… it was suddenly doing things to her insides, things she'd kept in the dark since those dreams had began, dreams she'd cursed away. What is happening, why is she feeling like this? Emma could not be her true love… that was impossible!

Daniel was dead, and no other had conquered her heart, not until…

Emma…

Her thoughts were cut short, a gentle yet strong touch on her shoulder, Emma's breath close again. She felt her body involuntarily relax under Emma's hand… one touch and she already felt safe, the tables had turned… Emma no longer needed her mother to help her feel safe and secure, she was the shoulder now; she was the shoulder she so desperately wanted to lean.

"Regina?" Emma called her name once again, her voice quickly going from nervous to anxious. She could not help but look up and stare; stare straight into those unforgettable forest green eyes, those eyes she instantly fell for the moment she first laid eyes on them; that moment she first held Emma and knew… her void was gone.

"Emma!" Regina finally spoke. 

"Look I'm sorry I don't know what came over… just… what was that?!" Emma was utterly confused and could not help but sound like a blubbering child, a nervous blubbering child. Before Regina could even think of a way to begin to explain, they are both interrupted by a screaming voice calling out Regina's name from a distance.

"REGINAAAAA!"

"Mary Margaret?" Emma's eyes opened wide with confusion. But before Emma's concerned eyes could see where the yell was coming from she felt a tight grip on her wrist pulling her away from the distracting scream.

"Emma, we have to go!" Regina quickly pulled them towards the opposite direction.

 

* * *

 

 

Emma was utterly confused and needed to know what was going on… She needed to know now!

She could not be lied to any longer.

"Regina stop, tell me what the hell is going on? What was that back there when, when I kissed you..." she whispered the last words unsure if she could say such things out loud.

"And why is Mary Margaret screaming?!"

Regina looked around as if to try to escape not only Mary Margaret but the entire situation in one.

"Mom!" Emma's tried to stop her from exhausting herself, she'd never seem her mother this way; she was so… so scared.

When suddenly Regina stopped… and sternly yet sadly, looked into Emma's eyes.

"You are not going to want to call me that after… after I tell you why…" She let go of Emma's wrist defeated, as if she were ready to surrender a battle.

"Regina what are you?" Emma tried to talk, communicate with this secretive woman she so desperately wanted to see inside of… Emma was not the only one with a keyless door.

"REGINA?!" It was Mary Margret and… and so many familiar faces… the townspeople? What were they?

"KILL THE QUEEN!" She heard a man yell from behind the angry mob… mob? Why on earth were they looking at HER MOTHER THAT WAY?

"Kill the queen?" Emma whispered in confusion, looking back and forth between a now angry Regina and angrier mob.

No one was touching Regina, not while she was still had breathe in her lungs. She grabbed a tight hold of the woman who gave her light, the woman who was her light; and conjured all the power she hoped she had…

"Emma wait!" Mary Margaret sorrowfully yelled. But the white cloud had already begun to surround Regina and herself not letting anyone near them.

"Emma I'm your..." But before Emma could hear Mary Margaret's sorrowful words, Emma had gone; the cloud engulfing them both and taking them away to safety, her ears unable to catch the last words…

But that did not matter, not now. Because right now Regina was going to tell her what the hell was going on.

 

* * *

 

 

The Mansion.

Their place of safety…

This was the only place Emma could think to take them, it was their home. But it had not calmed Regina one bit, Regina stood there arms around herself, frantically breathing.

"Regina it's okay, I won't let them hurt you." Emma assured; not caring what the reasons were for these people to hate her mother so suddenly.

"We have to get out of here." Regina ignored all assurances and stepped forward, a hand reaching up towards Emma's face. But Emma stopped it from making contact, placing her own hand on Regina's and holding it tight into hers mid air.

"What is going on Regina?" She asked, her eyes now serious, quite like when she'd caught those bad people in New York.

"I… wish I could…" Oh no… Emma wouldn't let her do this now; it was too late for lies.

"You are telling me everything… I know you're lying, and I've always known." Emma responded, her voice breaking.

"You see… I have this power and… and I know you've been lying Regina." Emma quickly let go of Regina's hand, as if it were made of fire… because just like fire, Regina was about to hurt her once more.

"Emma." Regina's eyes watered.

"I wish I could tell you…" Emma's tears began to fall, Regina did not trust her… she did not…

"I wish I could tell you here but we aren't safe... I am not safe here." She leaned in and pressed a warm comforting kiss on Emma's tear stained cheek, quickly wiping the tears away softly and stepping back. Emma's eyes are now wide with surprise, her mother had kissed her… although it may not been a romantic gesture Emma's cheeks had turned red right after, thanking Regina for calming her down…

"I need to get a few things and I need you to use your magic to take us somewhere… and then, then you will have all your answers Emma." She looked down pausing, but then rubbed it off and frantically runs up the stairs, her heels clattering on the wooden steps. And although the situation was not something to smile about, Emma's mouth formed a sudden side grin. She couldn't help but feel a shock to her system…

Regina was going to finally open up and… and trust her. Her trance was quickly broken when a disheveled looking Regina was now in front of her, a familiar book held tightly in her hands.

"Now, let's read this damn book shall we?" Regina smiled warmly, as if she were talking to Emma when she'd been seven and could not wait to be read too by her mother.

"Let's go!' Emma extended her arm forward, offering Regina her hand. Regina quickly placed her hand into Emma's, anxious to disappear.

"Where too?" Emma questioned, not sure if she could successfully take them where Regina wanted. Regina leaned in, her lips on Emma's ear.

"I do not want anyone to hear this…" she whispered, sending a sudden shiver down Emma's neck. She could never control herself.

"Where to Regina?' Emma whispered, trying to shake off her bodies impulsive reactions. And just like that, as soon as Regina whispered her destination, a dark purple cloud surrounds them both and takes them away.

"What was that?! Where are we?" Emma blinked in awe, confused as to how they got here without her magic.

"My vault." Regina smiled contently, a familiar glee in her eyes.

"and that dear, was my magic."

 

* * *

 

 

**Regina was The Evil Queen...**

Before Regina could muster a word, Emma knew.

The angry mob, people yelling at her mother; calling her evil and… and the purple smoke Regina had just engulfed them in… it was just like that page she'd read as a kid.

And like a puzzle, everything came together and made sense right then and there; in this… in this vault.

Regina's vault…

Everything came together.

Regina was indeed the Evil Queen of the story, and although she'd almost confirmed this as a teen, Regina had denied it.

She'd remembered… she'd remembered that forgotten night…

Regina had lied…

And just like that, her superpowers and all the arrows pointing at her guilty mother, she let it go… just like she'd let all her feelings go that night; the night she'd ran away a second time.

The night she decided to leave Regina behind, a regretful second time.

How could she have forgotten? How could she have let such important information slip her mind?

Oh that's right… She was in love with her mother, something far more delicate.

She had to let go, she had to make herself forget, or else there was no surviving, not without Regina…. nor herself.

She remembered… she remembered everything.

And now… now it was time to ask that lost question once again, her heart ready to take it.

"Regina, what is this book? And who is The Evil Queen?" Emma asked just like then, but this time she knew; Regina was not going to break her and Emma was not going to run. She was no longer 17… She was an adult and knew Regina had no choice.

"I am The Evil Queen."

She heard her mother's low voice confess, and just like that a long breath escaped her chest; Regina's answer filled her open ears, and her heart… is not broken… it is not lied too…

Regina had spoken; Regina had begun to open up…

She would now listen, and finally understand who her mother really is…

"Say it again, tell me everything." Emma pushed, needing to know everything, like it'd really matter, like it'd really change how she felt about the woman in front of her.

Nothing would change how she felt, nothing would change the years of enchantment, years of desire, a desire she'd felt since she could remember how to feel, a desire for the woman who raised her and gave her nothing but love.

Nothing would change the fact that, this woman, this queen, was _**her**_ queen.

 

* * *

 

 

It was time for her to tell Emma everything… she had no choice. Her options had been taken away the moment Emma had attached her lips to hers… the moment fate decided to screw her over yet again.

The moment fate decided her child was hers no longer…

"I am The Evil Queen." She repeated; her voice stronger than before.

She let the words linger, her chest letting go of the air she had been holding, a deep breath that practically echoed through her vault.

"And?" Emma's voice was expectant, Regina did not see a child anymore; she saw a confident woman… a woman that would soon hate her.

And after everything they'd been going through… her child or not, Regina did not want to lose her, but Emma deserved her truth… she always did.

Part of her wondered if she had told Emma… would she have till left?

She grabbed her chest, trying to stop the pain of her thoughts… trying to stop the pain of what was to come.

"You are welcome to read the book on your own time Emma… I do not wish to read it yet again." She took another much needed breath.

"You see… this book is like a bad record of my life, it is full of all my sins and all the horrendous things I used to be." She cannot help but let out another breath.

"I used to be!" her voice echoed strongly against the walls, she needed Emma to see… before she could know. She needed her to see…

"I am no longer that person, not since you..." A tear quickly caressed her pale cheeks. And right now she was certain her tears were the only thing that would caress her face from now on…

"Not since you came into my life… not since, since I adop…" It was so hard for her to say it.

But before she could finish that sentence, Emma cuts in, unable to ignore her previous confession. "What did you do? Why do they call you Evil?"

Regina closed her eyes, as if to hide herself.

"You see… the enchanted forest was so different, it's a place I never wish for you to be… it's…"

"Tell me Regina, what did you do?" Emma whispered this time, trying to bring comfort.

Regina looked straight behind Emma's eyes and confessed to the cold brick wall behind her.

"I cast a curse that devastated an entire population, I've tortured and murdered, I've done horrible things, I know I should be overflowing with regret Emma.. "

"But I'm not!" Regina practically screamed, more tears falling.

She paused, she opened her eyes expecting to see Emma's disgusted face, but all she saw was….

"A curse? What curse?" Emma asked, no anger or disgust evident.

All Regina saw was curiosity… like when Emma would read her books in bed… curiosity and concern.

"Why were all those people screaming at you? Why was Mary MARGARET SO UPSET ?!" Emma's voice got louder, as if she'd forget the words, the questions.

"I cursed them Emma… I cursed all of them." Regina looked down, shame in her face, a shame she'd been feeling since Ruby and Granny… since these people she despised so much helped her… since she'd lost Emma and found solace in none other than the people she'd cursed.

"How?" Emma whispered.

"I was… I was miserable, everything had been taken away from me… and all I had was revenge."

"Revenge?" Emma repeated her words, memorizing her truth.

"If you read the book, you will see…." Regina repeated.

"Why can't you?" Emma asked, ache written on her face.

"Please Emma, you have to understand…"

Emma took those few steps forward to caress her face; something she did not think would ever happen again. Something she began to realize she wanted… more than she should.

She sighed deeply, releasing her tension.

"Because that book only tells part of my story Emma… it tells you what I did but not why." She let go, her tears for Daniel, her mother, her father… what that man did to her… all begin to show, gently falling on Emma's now wet hand.

Finally giving Emma what she wanted; honesty.

"Emma please… read the book and you will see… "

"No! I want us both to read it and I want you to explain… I want your side of the story." Emma encouraged, a warm smile appearing. A warm smile that did not encourage Regina at all… but pained her further… she could not give Emma false hope... She needed to tell her now… before it was too late.

"I'm not your mother Emma!" Regina let it go, instantly removing the smile from Emma's hopeful face.

Silence filled the room, Emma's hand already drawn away from her face… her arms now closed around herself.

"You're not my what?" Emma's voice trembled, her eyes now wide in shock.

'I… I stole you… I stole you from…"

"I can't hear this right now…." Emma backed away as far as possible.

"Emma.." Regina stepped forward hand looking for her face.

"Stay away Regina! I can't... I can't…" She heard Emma's breath quicken, panic written in her voice.

She knew this would happen… she knew fate would take her away.

"Emma wait… please just."

 

* * *

 

Emma quickly moved forward and snatched the only thing she could trust from her mother's arms, the book.

"I don't believe you… I… I need to go." Emma held the book tight, a now distant look in her eyes, and was quickly taken away by a familiar white cloud.

 

* * *

 

She appeared in the woods, a part she could remember she'd hid in when she'd ran away.

She needed to be alone; she needed to read this damn book and… and prove to herself that Regina… Regina wasn't lying… that everything she thought she knew wasn't a lie…

That her mother made her believe something… something that hurt her for so long, something that could have easily saved Emma so much pain.

That she did not run away in vain…

That she hadn't fallen in love with a lie.


	17. Chapter 17

**She could not bear to let go of the feathered pillow she gripped in her hands…**

So tight and unmoving, her hands did not dare to let go. And her body, her body refused to remove itself from the snow white sheets beneath her; Emma's sheets… the sheets she once stole from Emma's New York apartment, that box of an apartment Regina wished she'd been a part of.

She wished a lot of things, but as fate so had it… there was no fairy to grant her wish, not for her anyways. She wished and desired so many things… but right now she only wished and desired one. Her grip tightened, the feathered pillow hugging her hands with comfort.

Her tears began to pour, her wish capsizing her heart and making it feel as if it were to drown.

She let her tears slip and stain the white sheets beneath her.

"My… true… love?"Regina whimpered into the empty room.

Crying seemed to be the only thing she was capable of now and days… she thought that'd change once she had Emma back, but it seemed to be getting worse instead. Her wish. .. Her heart… It endlessly ached. Her wish?

Regina had wished, she wished so badly to burn, to have been burned at that stake…that stake so long ago when Snow had stopped that arrow from ending her, from ending all of this pain. The pain she not only caused for herself but the pain she caused the one person she refused to ever let get hurt… Emma, she hurt Emma; Emma had been hurt by her own hands, her own doings.

She'd lied to Emma… she'd made her believe something that could have saved them both a lot of anguish… and fate? That undeniable traitorous thing had made her child her true love, it made something tender and innocent, horrid and impossible.

It was impossible… HER TRUE LOVE… How could fate be so cruel to her; to have her child love her in such a way… to possibly love her child, that way… She could never….

She suddenly felt her hands release the pillows and caress her own lips. A memory created not too long ago played in her head, their kiss.

"Stop it!" she yelled at herself. And that, that is the part that killed her most, that kiss was everything but horrid… it was something she could never feel again, something she could never allow herself to feel again, and now… now all Regina could think was Emma would have been far better off without her in her life. She'd be happy and with… with someone to love her, love her like she desired... a prince, a man, with a man like Neal.

Neal… The fire hit her chest before she could neglect it, it was undeniably jealousy, and she knew this now… she dreadfully knew this now.

She knew all that she'd felt since the beginning… since she held that child in her arms… Emma did belong to her and she to Emma…. She was indeed not her child, but her lover not yet grown… her truest love.

Fate had ruined everything… not only was she legally her mother, but… but Emma had someone already… that man… Neal..

THAT MAN! She could not grasp it!

Why would fate make her a true love she could not have?

She could not have Emma in that way… fate decided that the moment she adopted her, the moment Emma ran away, the moment Emma found someone, the moment she found someone she'd rather be with than her own "mother" Regina could not help put voice out the lie of a word. But even then, even when Emma thought she was just that, she'd decided to be with him… and although she wanted to know the whole truth, the why, why did Emma leave, and everything about that night, the night she first slipped away… She knew she could not dare love Emma… She could not love Emma in that way! Besides, she was sure Emma could no longer love her, not as a mother and especially not as… as…

That kiss... that kiss was everything but horrid… it was, it was unlike anything she'd ever experienced, and something she could never feel again. And still… still all Regina could think about was Emma would have been far better off without her in her life. Far better without the lies, without these murderous hands, without this Evil Queen...

The Evil Queen, she waited for what was to come, they were bound to find her and end her misery, kill her, send her away, banish her… anything but Emma's broken eyes in front of her. And as soon as the tears began to fall again, before her head could lay itself back down, those eyes entered the room and froze her.

"That's why you never aged... That's why no one ever aged." Emma's voice filed the room, her eyes directly on her, book in arms, and those eyes ready to take her on.

"I think we need to talk, finally talk about that night." It was Emma's turn to ask the forbidden question, the question they'd both avoided but so desperately needed to talk about.

"Emma, I'm so sorry…" Regina tried; her body already sitting upright on the bed, her shoulders stiff, and her hands now grasping the white sheets beneath her.

 

* * *

 

 

Emma couldn't help but quickly avert her eyes towards Regina's hands, her hands now anxiously grasping the bed sheets.

Those bed sheets? those sheets were… Regina had kept them. Emma's eyes quickly revert back up to face the woman of her dreams… but those dreams weren't real were they? Her eyes quickly narrow, as she continued to speak the words she could not hold any longer, the pain of it all finally encouraging her to not care about what this woman's now shaking hands thought about her.

"You want to know why I did what I did, you want to know why I… why I degraded myself for you? Why I did what I did so long ago? Why I could not bear to tell you what I'd been writing and feeling all those years ago? Why I'd preferred LIVING IN THE STREETS THAN TO FACE YOU?!" she could not help but yell out the final words, making Regina tremble in pain or shame, she wasn't sure.

"Emma…" Regina whispered, her lips quivering right after.

"Regina." She narrowed her eyes further, remembering what she'd just read, what the evil queen had done to her.

She had nothing to hide now, Regina would know.

"I've loved you since I could remember…" Emma whispered. Her eyes finally looking away and towards the nearest object, the lamp, the lamp that broke that night Sydney had done what he'd done. She shakes her head.

"That night… that night I saw Sydney doing what he did... I knew… I was going to protect you, you were my queen." She let the tears fall.

"No." She smiled, tears grazing her lips.

"Even before that… when Graham and you began to see each other… I knew I wanted to be the only one to call you a queen; I wanted to be Graham… I wanted to be a Sheriff, a prince, I wanted to be your KNIGHT!" She looked down, a false dream never becoming a reality.

"I wanted to be everything you were too me, perfect." She whispered, her head now looking at the familiar grey carpet. She did not dare look up.

"But that night, that night that awful man did awful things to you, my blood boiled and magic became me… my magic needed to protect you, and only than it would work… is true love magic?" Emma whispered the last words, remembering a quote she'd read in the book.

"Are you… are you my true love Regina? Are you my Snow White?" Emma gulped, it all made sense as soon as she'd read it. Everyone remembered right after their shared kiss… a curse was broken.

True love breaks all curses… Emma was certain. But it did not break pain… and right now she needed Regina to know everything.

"Snow White… She's my mother… MY REAL MOTHER!" Emma's tears were inevitable.

"You kept me from my parents…" Emma wailed.

"Emma please I…" Regina quickly got up already in front of Emma's shaking shoulders.

"Stop." Emma sternly replied.

Regina did as she was told, her hands mid air ready to hold her… instantly drop to her sides, Emma was now the fire.

"I no longer need you to be my mother." She confirmed, a confirmation Regina surely knew was coming.

Regina soon followed, a whimper escaping her mouth, her hands now covering her mouth, holding back a scream.

"I want to meet Mary Margaret, I want to meet her and… David? The man I saw at the hospital in a coma when I was 10 and had a flu, the man I now saw wide awake and walking hand in hand with Mary Margaret… I want my real parents Regina."

"I know." Regina's low voice responded solemnly.

"I no longer need you to be my mother…" She repeated as if to purposely hurt her once again.

"Emma pleas…" But before Regina could plead for her to stop…

"I need you to be YOU, the real you… I need you to be Regina… the woman I… the woman I fell in love with, the woman who's heart was all but evil, the woman who took care of a child that did not even share her same blood… the child of a person she swore to destroy!" Emma's tears began again.

"You did that for me… why?" she wrapped her arms around herself, needing to feel comfort.

"I…" Regina reached forward her hand barely touching Emma's shoulder.

"Why Regina? How? All that love you gave me… was that a lie too?" Emma asked the question that troubled her the most, was that love Regina gave her real? Did Emma fall in love with the true Regina? Or was it all a lie? She felt Regina push herself closer, her unforgettable arms wrap around her shielded body and she squeezes… it was one of those hugs, the one's she desired so. And that's when she heard the truth.

Regina leaned into her now warm ears and whispers gently. "I've always loved you Emma, that was always true." Regina pressed her soft lips gently across her cheek, and grabbed her face into her hands.

"That was never a lie… since I've first held you Emma; I knew you were special to me. You took away my loneliness, you filled my void, you made me smile, something I had not truly done since… since I could even remember… you were… you are my happy ending Emma Swan." Regina could not help but let out a painful moan, her tears caressing her pale face.

"Swan?" Emma blinked in confusion.

"That was, that was your name when I adopted you… when they found you outside the town line." She whispered another truth.

"Swan…" she whispered it, memorizing it.

"I like it…" She could not help but smile at her mother's honesty.

"Emma…" Regina stepped back, her arms now wrapped around her own chest.

"Yes?" Emma responded almost nervously, scared to know what was next. "Emma I don't know what to do…" Regina looked down, her voice filled with worry.

"I… I destroyed your happiness… I… I lied to you for so long.. I… I could have saved you from all of this." Regina began to sob. "And the way you feel Emma, I've... I never knew Emma, I never knew." She sobbed louder.

"I never knew how much I needed to hear those words… ever since, ever since you disappeared... I needed to know why… ever since I read your journal... I need to hear it from your lips… because once you kissed me my truth came out… I, I love you Emma, and I feel it is impossible to go there with you now… so much is stopping us… and I feel fate has destroyed us before we've began." Emma's eyes became wide, she never thought she'd hear any of this… her heart began to beat anew, it began to heal.

"Regina…" Emma stepped forward, closing the space Regina had created.

"Emma we can't…" Regina's voice trembled.

"Regina… tell me more. Tell my why you did what you did?" Emma's cheek caressed Regina's now red face.

"Tell me your story." Emma leaned into her ear; her breath lingering in Regina's ear.

"Tell me why you did not smile."

"Because I did not have you." She quickly answered. Emma was sure her heart would burst, but part of her hurt still wondered if Regina still did not trust her.

"Emma I promise to tell you, I just… right now I need to figure out what to do… those people… they will kill me… I can't be in this town much longer…" She looked behind Emma, the door open, inviting anyone to come in.

"I need to find a way. To…"

"I won't let anyone lay a finger on you Regina, not even... not even Mary Margret and David." Emma grabbed her hand in assurance.

"I promise Emma, I will tell you when I'm ready, but just remember these words my love…"

"I mean…" Regina suddenly fumbled with her hands, Emma could see those words were not meant in the same way as when she was a child… her love?

"Just remember, Evil is not born, it is made." Regina narrowed her eyes, promising Emma that soon she would know the reasons.

"Right now..." Regina continued.

"We need to get out of here." Emma finished the sentence for her.

"Indeed we do." Regina shook her head worriedly.

"Let's go check on Neal, and figure out what we have to do." Emma urged.

"Neal…" Regina whispered.

….. It was not going to happen, it was indeed impossible, Emma still loved him and fate would have its way. It would destroy any possibility of her happiness.

 

* * *

 

 

**All the reasons they could not be, played in her head like the wretched words of a curse…**

Like the broken clock on the town's tower, unmoving and broken… nothing had changed; because even though Regina had brought Emma to Storybrooke at just barely a few months old, the clock had never ticked passed 8:15…

And even though Emma had broken this reprehensible curse, and even though they both knew of what they'd felt with that kiss, or at least what she had felt… that did not change a thing.

It did not change what this town would do to her; it did not change that no matter what, Emma was still her daughter, and no one would condone such a thing, it did not change how wrong any realm would see it, and last… it did not change how Emma felt for this man… Neal.

And like the clock in the tower, Regina would remain broken.

Because although Emma had finally confessed her darkest secret, a secret Regina did not know she'd been longing to hear, a confession she needed to hear… it was in the past, and the past was nonexistent… it was still nonexistent.

Neal had been there, Neal had been there when Regina had been ripped away by fate… Neal had held her in ways she'd never be able to… He'd kissed her lips with full permission and full understanding that he'd never raised a child that he'd one day have his lips pressed against... How could Emma ever love her like once before? How could Emma love her after waiting so undeniably long for her to realize she loved her just the same...

Neal... he'd known since they were teens... she was sure of it, how could he not? He still... he still held her heart; she was almost certain...

Because fate was certain, it would destroy her happy ending.

**(Hospital)**

All the reasons they could not be... they'd been playing in he head since his name had left Emma's mouth at the mansion. The moment a hint of hope had appeared, his name had so easily destroyed it.

All hope that Emma would come with her and...

It was impossible!

She'd raised her, she'd lied to her, it was too late, no one would understand.

Neal... Neal!

And than there was them...

if Snow and Charming didn't have her head for what she'd done, they'd certainly have it for this... for corrupting their... their princess.

Regina's knight... her little knight.

All these reasons... they wouldn't stop, it was an endless list.

It was...

"Why can't I see Neal?!" Her endless list had been temporarily frozen, Emma's hurt voice making her heart skip with worry.

"What is going on here?" Regina's clattering heels made their way straight in front of Whale, ready to step on him for causing her love... No, her child...

any possible pain.

"You..." Whale's eyes became suddenly dark, his voice filled with venom.

"Victor..." Regina almost forgets... The Dr was back, and so was their feud, their now dangerous feud.

"Regina!" as soon as her voice escaped his bitter lips, his hand was already around her neck, accompanied by a tight squeeze.

But before Regina could react, he'd flown off his feet and into the nearest wall.

"Stay away from her!" It was Emma's turn to show her venom.

He laid still, now unconscious... A breathe of relief escaping Regina's lips, and a wicked smile soon following.

And before Regina could feel her knights hands on hers they both turn to an all to familiar voice, a voice Regina did not want to deal with... anyone but...

"Hello Dearrrie." the emphasis on his R's now present like before.

"You." She cannot help but grab Emma's arm and pull her behind her. She wouldn't let the imp near her...

"Rumple..." Emma whispered his name, a face she'd immediately recognized as Mr. Gold in the pages she'd hours ago had just read... he was definitely no good, that she knew.

"Pleasure to see you again Ms. SWWWAAAN." He smiled knowingly, his fingers mischievously fumbling with one another.

"You knew I was back? How do you?" Emma tried to get a response but is soon cut off by Regina's hand squeezing hers.

"You knew..." Regina accused the man with the cane, that sneaky little imp!

"Yes dearie, and the prophecy has come to be... the savior broke the curse and my son... Baelfire has returned to me..."

"Neal." Regina gasped.

"Neal?!" Emma makes her way towards the man, and passed her...

"What have you done to Neal?!" She screamed pointlessly, only making Gold smiles further.

"My son? Oh he will be okay, I will see to that... you've done nothing but leave him in a coma and alone, focusing on no one but the queen, your only desire."

"You know nothing!" Regina soon defended, hating the way he knew everything before it was even a thought in her head, the way he spoke those words... that evil little...

"You're wrong!" Emma screamed, the her tears now visible.

"He's my, he's my..."

Rumple suddenly hits his Cain roughly against the hospital's floor, a force suddenly throwing Regina and Emma against the floor.

"He is of no concern to you now... " He abruptly turned ending his words.

But Emma did not take it, she quickly makes her way towards the man but is instantly thrown once more by an invisible wall that Gold had no doubt created.

"No!" Emma screamed, her hands hitting the floor with frustration.

"Emma pleeease." Regina placds her hands gently on the now red hands... the pain in Regina's chest never leaving... this man made Emma feel this pain, a pain Regina's name once took over Emma's heart...

Her child needed her... she could not let this burning jealousy, she could not let the evil in her hurt Emma further.

She grabbed her chest through her blouse and caresses Emma's tear stained face.

"We will find a way Emma... we will find a way to get Neal back to you, and... and give you your happy ending." Regina's tears subconsciously fall, her face contorting nothing but sorrow.

 

* * *

 

As soon as Regina's words had slipped out and into her ears, Emma knew.

Regina thought her and Neal were still... she'd forgotten to tell her, to tell her that Neal was everything to her, everything but a lover. He was her best friend, the only true friend she'd ever had...

How could this woman still think such thoughts? Did Emma not moments ago break a curse with her undenying kiss, true... loves... kiss.

How could this woman...

"Emma you will be okay I promise... I will, I will get your love back and..."

"Your mistaken Regina..."

Emma quickly hushed her untrue words...

"Mistaken?" Regina repeats in a whisper, sorrow still apparent on her face.

"Neal is... Neal is not my boyfriend, he... he never was, I... I lied." Emma cannot help but lower her last words into a ghost of a whisper, ashamed that she'd lied in the first place, and regrettably embarrassed she'd forgotten to tell the only person she'd ever loved.

Regina's mouth remained still, instantly making Emma grip her own hands tight.

She'd ruined something...

NO... SHE WOULD NOT LET THAT HAPPEN.

"I... " She continued to open her doors, after all there was no point in closing them.

"I could not let myself love you, I could not let my hands, my mouth, my eyes, my body... take control and do something that they could not control... I had to stop this love... I had just came back and already I wanted you... just like when you'd first found me... I saw your beautiful face, your enchanting eyes look upon my childlike face and put me in a spell... a spell I needed to runaway from... until I was ready for you, until I could take control and..."

"Ha, look what good that did..." Emma smirked shyly, replacing her confession with her current self conscious feelings.

"I... I'm sorry I..."

But as soon as those words escaped Emma's lips, Regina's had found their way against hers, quickly taking a hold of her broad shoulders and poofing them to Regina's safest haven, where no one would see; her vault. her vault of secrets... and Emma was soon to be one as well.


	18. Chapter 18

**As soon as those words had escaped Emma's mouth, Regina could not help but attach her own mouth against hers…**

She can not help but halt Emma's words and do what she'd been hopelessly dying to since their lips first laid upon one another. She can not hold herself any further, because as soon as those words made their way into her ear drums, the drum in her chest banged against her insides and quickly undid all the doubt, that doubt that told her it was far too late to love Emma in return…. to have Emma love her as she did years ago; and that although she was far too late, although she'd barely known Emma's truth, Emma still felt the same.

She somehow felt the same after so many years…

And nobody or anything had stopped her little knight from loving her the way that she did.

Emma loves her… Emma romantically loves her, and only her.

She did not love Neal.

Emma…

Emma loves her, she loves the evil queen, her… her mother… a woman she could never have… and yet here they were… somehow pushing against all the odds, against every obstacle that was sure to come their way.

And she… she loves Emma as more than a child; of this she was certain of now.

She loves her as a woman would love a man… no, as a woman would love a woman; a Queen and her knight.

They were, they were each others true love's… so their first kiss told. And although she feared fate… although she feared all the cons that could and would be; right now, in this moment, all that mattered was Emma did not love anyone else but…

"I love you." Emma suddenly whispers breathless, quickly attaching her lips against hers once more. Unable to detach what had started. Regina could not help but hum into Emma's mouth, an avoidable reaction to Emma's words and lips upon her own.

"Mmmm." She could hear Emma's voice emit a song like sound from her chest, soon followed by Emma's arms taking a strong but gentle hold of her arms. It made her feel something she'd never felt before… not even with Daniel, her sweet stable boy. She could feel Emma grab her waist from behind and gently pull her body against herself.

"Emma." She mumbles; eyes now wide and cheeks stained red with an uncontrollable blush.

Emma was no longer a child… she was a strong, beautiful and a gentle... woman.

"I'm sorry I." Emma quickly lets go, a tint of embarrassment now on her face.

She scratches her head like when she'd done so many times as a child; she was nervous… Regina takes notice and soon feels a warm feeling she did not know could feel quite like… like this kind of love.

"I'm sorry, I've just… I've wanted to do that since I was 12…" Emma confesses, hand still scratching her head, her cheesy smile now present.

"I haven't seen you smile like that since you were a child Emma… I never thought I'd see you so…"

"So happy?" Emma ends her sentence, her voice now low, her mouth now a straight sad line.

"Yes… so cute, my little knight." Regina replies, encouraging her smile to return.

"Mom!" Emma's cheeks quickly turn back to red, her voice twelve again. Regina's eyes suddenly grow wide, not knowing how to react to Emma's reaction.

"Regina I…" Emma raises her hand to grasps her arm, but she knows they both had to get used to this... She did after all raise her. She shakes her head, and reaches for Emma's hand instead.

"Do not worry my love, it is…" She cannot help but stop her words. She looks around the cold room, her books and spells surrounding them.

"Emma?" She arches an eyebrow in confusion.

"Regina?" Emma squeezes her hand in comfort and urgency.

"When did we… how are we in my vault?" She asks; her voice now raspy and serious. She is suddenly answered with laughter, Emma's lips now smiling wide, her laughter confusing her further and enchanting her sweetly.

"What's so funny? I'm being serious Emma." Regina unclasps her hands and Emma's, attaching them directly on her hips and tapping her heel against the floor impatiently.

"Regina, my love… You transported us here the moment you attached your lips onto mine. Do you not remember your eager hands swooshing the air above us and bringing us here?" Emma smiles warmly now, encouraging her to smile.

"Oh dear, how could I…" she places a hand on her head as to think.

"I… all I could think was…." She looks up, a self conscious smile.

"I was scared someone would see us and… and, and really kill me, not only for this curse but for, for kissing you the way that I was… for taking advantage of a child. I wanted us to be alone and attach our lips without a worry… and not be afraid of what those people would do to us… to me." She sighs deeply, unable to look at Emma.

"I guess I didn't realize I'd brought us here… you, you enchant me Emma." She breathes out her last words.

"I won't let that happen Regina." Emma's voice instantly encourages her to look up.

"I will protect you always…" Emma whispers, her eyes looking straight into hers dark pools. "I promised remember?" Emma smiles knowingly, her words instantly bringing one of her fondest memories back; Emma vowing to be her knight at the young age of 7.

"You did." She whispers in return, showing that smile only Emma had ever seen.

"Now, what's next? How do we get Neal back and where are we headed?" She quickly asks, almost urgently.

"Emma?" Regina whispers, her heart aching in the process.

"My queen?" She smiles nervously, not used to saying her thoughts so loudly.

"Emma I cannot help but wonder… Your parents? Your real…" Her eyes begin to water; she quickly straightens up and swallows the pain in her words.

"I cannot help but think my love…. You've changed me so Emma… I am no longer that Evil monster I once was… I… I feel you should meet them… and…."

 

* * *

 

 

"No." Emma's voice is almost harsh, but never as harsh as could be… not with Regina. She could never feel such things with Regina.

"Emma." Regina whispers, her motherly tone present.

No… her concerned lover now present.

"I do not wish to meet the people who abandoned me, who put me in a damn wardrobe and sent me away." She states firmly. Suddenly making Regina flinch, something she did not want to cause.

"Emma that wasn't their fault… I… "

"Regina please, it was not your…" She is cut off by Regina's trembling hand on her shoulder.

"Emma, we need to talk about... about whom I was and what I did… and…"

"And why you did it? I've only heard one side Regina, all I want to know is why? I cannot blame you for something those people decided to do." She whispers sweetly into Regina's ear.

"Emma no, we need to talk about everything… we need to."

"Shhh!" Emma quickly shushes them both, her body now stiff. "Did you hear that?" Emma whispers.

"Emma we need to go now!" Regina urges, but she was not moving. No one would harm Regina and she would make sure of it now rather than later. She swiftly turns, her back now protecting Regina. "Who goes there?" Emma asks to the nearby footsteps, her hands already clenching into fists.

"Emma is that you?" She hears an all too familiar and warm voice; one she hoped was not against her mother. But before she can put the name on the voice, two figures show their faces; torches in hand.

"Regina, we need to talk."

It was Ruby and Granny.

 Anger and hurt written on their faces. 

 


	19. Chapter 19

**She wasn't going to let anyone near Regina, not even them…**

Not even the very women who had been nothing but kind and warm hearted ever since she could remember…. before she'd left and after she'd returned.

Ruby and Granny…

"I'm sorry." She tightens her fists and moves closer, her chest pushing forward; ready to do what she'd forgotten all these years, what she vowed to since she could remember.

"I can't let you near her." She'd protect her; she'd protect Regina.

"Emma, wait!" She could feel those motherly... no, those loving hands grip her shoulder, tugging her back.

She turns her head back swiftly, quickly looking at the strong woman she'd been raised by… now so fragile.

"Let them… let them say what they need to say." She can hear Regina's voice quiver and almost waver, she cared about them… didn't she?

"Well there is something we can very well do right now your Majesty…"

Emma suddenly turns her eyes  narrow and on guard, she hadn't heard granny like this since… since Sydney. Sydney!

Her mother was nothing like that man… she was…

"I am not innocent." She hears that thick beautiful voice contradict her own thoughts from behind.

"Yes, we are very aware of that R.E.G.I.N.A." Ruby steps forward and next to Granny, her voice angry, no humor evident, something she'd never heard from the kind and beautiful woman in front of her.

"Now..." Granny adds.

"I understand you may want to kill me and I completely under…" Her mother is quickly ignored and asked the one question she was sure they'd been holding in since they found her.

"Was it all an act Child?" Emma's eyes grow wide; Granny's eyes glistening with unshed tears… Ruby slightly pushes the burning torch back, grabbing Granny's hand in the process. They, they cared about her. Just like she… they wanted to know if this woman had stolen their hearts just to crush them; like she'd read… and like she was sure they'd seen her do in that enchanted home of theirs.

After all, they knew Regina long before Storybrooke, long before... …long before this love.

"It was…" Emma's eyes grow wide at Regina's answers; her knuckles now white from the tight grip. No, the woman Emma knew wouldn't, couldn't be so dark that she'd… not after all that…

"…until it wasn't." She hears Regina whisper almost shamefully behind her. Emma shuts her eyes and steps back, reaching her hand towards Regina's… when she catches a quick flash of fear in her dark brown eyes.

"Not here Emma…" Regina whispers, her voice warning. She'd barely caught her words, but she'd caught them and they stung. If she'd touched Regina's hand, she was sure it'd have burned her in that moment, because Regina was scared… scared of

"us." Emma cannot help but look down in something she hadn't felt since before they'd kissed… Shame… She shakes her head swiftly, as to not be seen by the others and turns… eyes narrowed once again. She'd protect her no matter what, no matter what.

"…until it wasn't?" Ruby repeats, torch now forward illuminating Regina's features.

"I…" Her mother stumbles. She knows she'd shown the pain, and she knows Regina is conflicted, and all this was too much at once right now.

"Better yet, was Emma… all an act Regina?!" Ruby screams, a growl soon followed. Her mother's stumble was soon forgotten. She hears those heels quickly walk past her, her hand unable to grab Regina on time… fear she'd be rejected in tow.

"HOW DARE YOU RUBY!" her mother now stood directly in front of the fire, directly in front of what she'd created… the town's hate and distrust.

"HOW DARE I WHAT REGINA?!" Ruby is now face to face with her, tears attacking her red rose cheeks.

"HOW DARE I PUT A CURSE ON YOU? YOUR ONLY FRIENDS WHO TRUSTED YOU, WHO HELPED YOU, WHO… WHO LOVED YOU?" Ruby pushes Regina as to push the cause of her pain away.

"Ruby no! be careful she could…"

"Could what Granny?!" Regina's catches her fall, her pain quickly rises. Emma makes her way behind her, becoming her cloud to catch her, if she chose too.

 

* * *

 

 

"Kill her?" Regina whispers her last words, images of what she would so easily have done once before… before Emma.

"I… I cast a curse to hurt everyone who hurt me… and... And I know what I did was not justified but… but within my pain and loneliness I found Emma… my child…. My… my…"

"Your what?" Granny pushes for a truth. Regina swallows roughly not able to confess what she'd barely been able to confess to herself.

"She made me feel what I thought I could never feel again…" She chokes on her own words.

"Love..." Granny whispers.

"Yes!" Regina chokes out, unable to explain what kind of love she really meant.

"She's your child… just the way Ruby is mine… you became a mother…" Granny looks into her eyes, understanding now present. Reina cannot help but grasp her chest, something only Emma can make her do.

"And when I lost her… I found a family who, who really cared for me, who didn't judge me for things I did when I was blinded by hate, by hurt… you didn't want me dead, you wanted to save me." She looks up and directly into their eyes, because they both knew what Regina said had truth, they would have easily turned their backs and killed her.

"You took away my Friend, you took away Snow." Ruby reminds her as to remind herself not to fall for all of this, not to fall for the evil queen's once predicted lies.

"I did." Regina assures her, her expression stoic.

"And I cannot change what I did, and would not if I had the chance…"

"You what?" Ruby's eyes shine a sudden gold, a gold Granny and Regina new very well was anger and a soon to be transformation… but she wouldn't let that happen, not in front of Emma, because Emma wasn't the only savior, she'd been Emma's since her tiny hands touched her own… and would always be.

"I took away so much from everyone in this town because… because at the time you all hated and despised me, I wanted control, I wanted MY happy ending… and nothing seemed to be giving it to me… still. I don't know If I will get it, but I do know that I have no regrets Ruby… I found Emma… and Granny and you became something you'd never even think about before the curse… you became my friends… "

"So I have no regrets, and whatever it is you want to do to me… I understand. If you want to help your beloved Snow find me, if you want to give her my head, you may try… but I tell you one thing; I have Emma to live for and…"

"I will not let you." She feels Emma's voice suddenly break their trance, surrounding her with warmth and protection furthermore.

 

* * *

 

 

"I WILL NOT LET YOU." Emma quickly answers for them, no matter what pain she'd felt moments ago, she wasn't letting Regina feel any of it.

"Child…." Granny almost smiles.

"Emma please, tell us… can we trust her? Did she not have you in a curse as well?"

"My love for her is true, and no curse can touch me… I am… I am the savior; I am the one who broke the curse Ruby."

"Then why did you leave so long ago? She never truly told us… why runaway from an evil queen if she is not evil?" Granny asks confused.

"All you need to know Granny is... I'm okay. And Regina would never hurt me, I was a stupid teenager and… I had issues of my own to take care of…. I chose to keep those in my head till we are ready to… till "I" am ready to speak of it." Emma looks down, picking up her mistake. Now was not the time to bring more problems to shore. Her head quickly rises up, Ruby's words breaking her thoughts.

"We believe you kid." Ruby smiles, her humorous smile almost present.

"We… we believe YOU." Ruby turns to face Regina.

Relief floods into her heart, they would be safe… for now.

"I… thank you." Regina's eyes water, she wished she could hold her now… but…

"Although it will be hard to forgive you, we do love you and… we can help you escape." Granny assures. Their plans are all suddenly silenced by the man Regina called an imp.

"You might not want to do that Dearie…"

"Rumple!" She feels her mother's hands quickly grab her and pull her behind her.

"Where is Neal?!" Emma yells, trying but failing to get in front of the strong woman she calls her mother.

"He is still unresponsive no thank to you SAVIOR." He angrily sings her title.

"Watch it!" Regina spits back.

"Oh my… have you two already?" He snickers pleasingly.

"Shut your mouth you imp." Regina stops him as soon as she'd figured out what he wanted to say. How did he… how did he always know?

"As much as I do not thank you for landing Bae in his predicament, I thank you for making the prophecy come true… you've brought me back my son and for that…"

"Heed my warning Ms. Swan…" Emma's eyes go wide.

"If your beloved… M.O.T.H.E.R. steps a foot outside that town line, it is so long to her memories of you or anything for that matter."

"What?! I broke the curse, I…." Emma's eyes grow wider with confusion.

"You're lying, you've always meddled in my life and now…." her mother's voice trembles like her own hands.

"Believe me or not, fact is fact; you broke the curse and now the consequence of having a magic back, a magical land that should not be here is this very thing…"

"YOU MADE ME CAST THIS CURSE, NOW HELP ME..." Her mother's pleas are brushed away by Mr. Gold's last words and a light gust of clouds taking him away.

"Good luck Dearie."

 

* * *

 

 

**She realized than what she'd realized now… this could never work.**

Emma and she would never work…

This was impossible.

They would never understand.

They could never comprehend what she barely could.

These people, these people who've always despised her and now inevitably wanted her dead would never… they'd make it impossible.

Emma and she… were impossible.

These peasants, these people... what would they do?

What would they do?!

They would… they would surely try to not only kill her but worse… take Emma away, and no matter what her new found love for Emma felt like, and oh how powerful it felt… Emma would forever be dear to her, a child she raised as her own, and that stood in the way of any possibilities. She was still the Emma she raised, baby Emma, her daughter.

The Evil Queen corrupted this child, their dear Snow's child. She disgustingly calls her… her own daughter, and she dares and calls her… her lover?! That is what they'd surely think before she could muster a word; a smart remark.

How would she fight back, how would she even explain?

Her lips suddenly curl to her thoughts; she joylessly smiles to herself, not noticing Emma staring so deeply at her. Her thoughts feeling like an eternity, but it being just seconds of… seconds of the unstoppable tragedy that was her life.

There was nothing to explain…

Fate was a deceitful thing. She knew than what she knew now and UN-doubtingly always… her fate was to be what she was before Emma, and without; Empty.

The words Maleficent once spoke ring in her head, the consequence of her bitter doings, an emptiness inside her, a void she would never be able to fill.

She could not love Emma the way it was meant to be.

She could not love Emma the way Emma wanted to be, she's always wanted to be...

She'd have to stop what she'd rushed into so very quickly… she needed to kill her fate before fate killed it for her.

She needed to…

"So Gold… Gold made you cast the curse?" She is suddenly cut off; the words she so desperately did not want to say in her head temporarily paused.

"I'm sorry?" Regina whispers, shaking her inevitable actions away, the pain already burning her chest, these thoughts to close to Emma, to close to hurting her repeatedly.

Emma steps closer with wonder and worry in her eyes. "Mr. Gold, the imp… he's the reason you cast the curse?"

She cannot help but clear her throat, so many thoughts and no words… Emma was always such a sweet child, always so defensive about her safety, about why she was upset, or whom had caused her mother to be upset.

Only Emma…

Could Emma truly feel that kind of love, at such a young age… she'd refused to believe so, even after reading Emma's diary, her years of bulged up untold feelings. She'd told herself it was because of her age and sexuality… That maybe if Emma had opened up, Regina could have showed her otherwise… that she could fall in love with any other person… not her mother… not the evil queen...

That kiss confused her so deeply… could it have just been a child's love for a mother that broke the curse? She knew it was possible…

But then why? Why did her lips so eagerly kiss back?

She clears her throat yet again, images of Emma's lips contradicting her plans.

"Yes… but, but he did not force me, the hate I had made it so easy Emma… hate makes things so easy and…"

"But why Regina, why were you so angry…" Regina notices Emma's hands cautiously reach at hers, grasping her finger tips gently.

"Why?"

Emma's voice softly whispers in her ear, as you would a secret.

"My… my love." Regina's eyes grow wide, her heart burning for entirely different reasons, not of heart ache but, but something she could not feel. She would not feel, she would not feel it, she'd protect Emma and… and avoid what was sure to come.

"Emma… I." Regina pulls Emma close, tight into her chest. Just like when Emma would call for her, when Emma needed her as a child… but right now, Regina needed Emma to see, this just could not be.

"Please don't leave me Emma…" Regina's voice trembles.

 

* * *

 

"Leave you?" Emma's eyebrows furrow in utter confusion, is this woman that blind that she doesn't see, they love each other, Emma finally, finally has what she thought she could never…. Why would she…

"I won't leave you Regina, it's the 2 of us now, and... Ruby and Granny said…"

She suddenly hears her mother mumble an almost silent laugh.

"Don't you see Emma? Granny and Ruby…. They can't… this is your Mother Emma.. and a whole village and more who want me dead… and I can't put you through this and…"

Emma gently pushes herself away from the embrace, grabbing Regina's arms reassuringly.

"I would never abandon you Regina, not ever again, not now that we…"

"We can never be Emma." She hears her mother whisper.

Regina turns to her left, staring at anything but her eyes, a tear slides down and grazes her scar, that scar Emma always wondered how she'd gotten, how'd such a beautiful human had gotten such a painful mark.

She could feel her face become pale, her heart already building a wall, that wall she'd barely begun to break down.

"Emma, I… I don't know how I can."

"Do you love me?" She almost yells, frustration and pain in her voice.

"I… I've loved you since I first held you in my arms." Regina's lips tremble.

"But I just cannot love you the way you desire, I…. my judgment is clouded, and I just need time Emma… I do not know what I feel, I… we shouldn't have rushed honey, this is something that should not be…"

"Tell me!" Emma screams, her arms now around herself.

"Emma they might hear us, they might…"

"I am not ashamed Regina." She glares deeply into her now unreadable lover?

"They won't let us be Emma, they would rather kill me and… I DO NOT MIND DYING IF YOU ARE SAFE EMMA, I'M YOUR MOTHER AND…."

"But that's the thing Regina… you aren't my mother." Emma tightens her arms around herself further.

"Snow is my mother and I will go to her if I must, I will beg for her to spare you, I do not care." her tears inevitably fall.

She was so tired of feeling like this.

"Don't cry my Emma, pleeeease." She can feel Regina's arms encircle her in response.

"How could you mother, how could you rip out my heart and…" She buries her head into Regina's chest, seeking her mother's comfort, even though it was this same woman that hurt her so.

 

* * *

 

 

Regina shakes her head roughly, she thought she could…

"Emma listen, Emma my darling listen…" She gently shushes.

She lifts Emma's chin into her hands and whispers the words contrary to her plan.

"Just, just give me time… I… let's... take... whatever this is slow okay? We can figure all of this after this mess I've put us in… we can…"

"Do you love me?" Emma mutters, her eyes wide; Regina's heavy heart stops.

"I… I do." Regina looks down shamefully, an all too recognizable face in Emma's life.

"Like… like…" Emma musters.

Regina could feel Emma's weight lean forward, her lips so close, her mouth leaning in and…

"No! Emma wait, I…." She softly grabs Emma's face and says the unthinkable, something she had not said since Daniel.

"We can hide… we can hide this. Keep this… keep this a secret Emma… I still need time but when we… when we do… It needs to… we cannot let anyone know. You see, you have to see…. " She squints her eyes tight. This was not the plan!

She expects Emma to scream, to cry to even leave… but all she feels is a set of warm soft lips press against her tear stained cheek.

"I can do that." Emma whispers.

Regina's eyes are wide; she cannot deny it can she?

And then she hears that smart mouth, that mouth that Emma caught in New York, the woman she was still getting to know and already began to fall for.

"Besides, if I can wait 15 years… I can wait forever." Emma smirks teasingly.

She cannot help but lean her forehead against this woman, this woman she could not wait, and hoped get to know and love that way.

"Okay." She whispers in return.

"Deal, now let's go figure out what we can do next."

She cannot help but smile, such an uncalled for situation they were in, but she could not help herself, Emma was smiling, that smile had returned, Emma had returned.


End file.
